John - Unfortunately he's been like this since I met him at 22! I realise its for life, but it is hard at times. Its not obvious when you meet him though, he's this sociable, chatty, funny sweet guy (right K!?)
It is good he talks to me now about it though and that he KNOWS now I am not the problem. The BMF isnt dragging him down, he genuinely wants to help after having walked in his shoes!
Girls, he said he wants children with me and wants us to start trying. His depression concerns me though. I tried to talk to him to about this last night, but he said he was "too tired" to talk. Besides, he is still not really interested in ML! He said he is very sorry about this and felt "inadequate as a man". He said its because of the way he is (depressed and negative) so doesnt feel s*xy, but to bare with him (?!).
Also, after 'going mad' and leaving me, he feels he is a bad person and hates himself for what he put me through and this weighs on him every single day. So its guilt still, the dreaded guilt factor. He also said its because he worries alot about everything, like work and money. Sheesh, I should make him go live with K's husband, they can be blocked up and celibate together!!
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
22? Has he seen someone? I am not really in favour of drugs but in this case it seems like a long term thing. I know you referred to some tablets ...thye are not working. You and K do have a lot in common. In piecing with men that are guilt ridden.
Today an Executive here (60yr old) told me he will wait till "my current horse dies" so that I can "ride" him. Sexual harassement or not? (I'm wearing riding boots)...
If it made you uncomfortable, then the answer is yes. It doesn't matter what his intent was but your feelings/take on it. If you didn't say anything at the time, perhaps beter not to just bring it up, but if he says anything inappropriate to you agin, call him on it right then and there. If it continues, time to go to HR.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Funny K! I cant imagine a boss here saying something like that
Feeling a bit down, tired of sensing things and feeling insecure as a consequence. He's been a bit 'distant' this week, well, distant is too strong a word.. I said to him he was a bit aloof and he agreed he was a bit, then said aloof was too strong a word. He said he did feel a bit moody perhaps, but couldnt explain why.
He's still not wanting to ML (he was never like that pre-bomb and pre-breakdown). He says its not me, I'm gorgeous and s*xy and he really doesnt want me to feel worried or insecure at all, it makes him feel worse.. he said he will go to a new doctor and ask about CBT.. he's still taking all his supplements (not ADs).
As loving and reassuring as he has been, I still feel like I am standing on an icefloe.. it looks and feels like solid ground, but it isnt. I did tell him this and he was very reassuring, as always..
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Hi Ali, I think you have just got to concentrate on all the good aspects of having what you wanted back again. You did say his depression didn't affect your mood, although I think it must to some degree. He has had it since he was early twenties I think you said,in all likelyhood he will always have those tendancies but it is just more at the fore at the moment,coupled with all thats happened and this guilt you talk of. You are strong and must just rise above all the "distance" It will get better. I thought he had gotten some AD's, maybe he needs more than the supplements. I am not an advocate of them but have seen remarkable changes in some people and therefore their lives to know that they can have great results.Maybe worth giving him a nudge. I loved the icefloe analogy,very poetic. Talking of which it has just started snowing! Got any party plans or visits that will do you both good,enjoy the season.
