SG...thanks so much for stopping in on me. I've said before that when you swim in someone else's cesspool, you come up stinking. Many of the DB'ers here don't know how lucky they were that their WAS's punched out and left them quickly. Trust me....if you don't think that after awhile with the constant attacks...well....
Just a statement...the kids gave me my gift the other day: 2 $25.00 ties, a $30.00 shirt and a coffee mug with their pix on it. Now why would she spend nearly $100 on me (er..the kids).
No need to answer that. Wait...I know...BABYSTEPS. ROFLMAO.
Deposition tomorrow. Wish me luck.
FIB
PS....I'm so sorry that so many people have to suffer through this. My kids are going to be crushed when the for sale sign goes up.
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
<<PS....I'm so sorry that so many people have to suffer through this. My kids are going to be crushed when the for sale sign goes up.>>
Hey Frank, It has been my experience that we as parents can seriously soften the blow to our kids with our positive attitudes toward all this crap. I am confident that you will do the same and your kids will not be affected as harshly as you think. Hang in there!
At first I couldn't stand the idea of not being in the house. After all, it was home, where the kids had lived the majority of their lives. Putting it on the market in the end seemed a practical thing to do.
I thought.. I do love to think..
If during the marriage my former spouse had lost his job, we'd move. If we couldn't afford it, we'd move. What's different about now is that there is no 'we'. At least for me it was an underlying reminder of yet another layer of security that leaves with divorce.
When we moved up to this lovely spacious home, the kids complained.. really complained. They missed the old basement and the great climbing tree. And they moaned for years! Make a list of what you all would like in a house, yard, make it an adventure. Zip them through a few open houses and listen to their reactions. I told my daughter she'd be able to have her new room any color she wanted.
Selling the house is a reminder of losing the home, what it represented.. an intact family. But in the end, as folks say (and what I'm looking forward to), you have a new place starts with the memories you make, with your children. Less baggage, new beginnings. A positive mental attitude makes all the difference.
Donna, Frank and other DB'ers... let's pick a place and date for the festivity.. I'm willing to host it. I live on the most eastern end of Fairfield County. Or we can all meet somewhere more centrally located.
Along the same lines, it took SO long to sell my house in this dismal housing market that my fiance and I STRONGLY considered just buying my ex out so as not to take a bath on the transaction. But we mutually decided that since both of us were bringing children into the new relationship that we didn't want any hint of "this isn't your house, it's my house" and all that, that we dumped it and found a new place where all the kiddos have their own space and they love it.
Rest assured, blended families require lots of adjustments, but hey, love finds a way.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Thanks all. I'm up for a get together when you guys are.
Relief...went well. As I walked out of the room, my atty took out a yellow legal pad and scratched on it "A++".
It was a waste of time. The one thing that I was able to do was to show with graphs how everything was going straight down, even BEFORE the divorce. He picked on really minor stuff. He requested that I send him the world (2009 credit card receipts, legers, names of all docs that refer to me, insurance companies with provider numbers...everything short of my Calvin Klein boxer briefs.)
He asked about whether I had made attempts at other jobs. Of course. Most people recall the job offer I pursued in NY a while back. They asked about a job offer in Maine. Gawd....it was a headhunter postcard that came in the mail that I joked about as being cool at a time that I was still hoping that we might reconcile.
Of course, STBXW nodded, rolled her eyes, "I knew it" looks, throughout...
Atty: "why does she hate you so much?"
I held steady. Really....it was fruitless since I have already gone thru a 9 month forensic financial appraisal. It's quite clear..it's all about money. My atty felt that it was just to rattle me, that it was a waste of time and money.
I'm OK. Thanks for all your support. Looks like nothing until after the holidays. So..going into the 3rd year.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
