So now she's spying on me? This just gets wierder and wierder.
not at all. she wanted to know if this woman was prettier than her. normal, typical, expected reaction.
I think it is time you set up a one on one social interaction on a evening where you would need to ask your wife to switch nights with the kids (that is they cant sleep at your place and you will have to pick them up late in the afternoon the next day). Come over dressed to kill and flirt abit but then run out the door. Magic 8 ball says your cell phone will be ringing all night long.
don't think you seriously think it is THAT wierd eh?
It's par for the course. Read advice from Gucci, Robx, Steve, and to a lesser extent Puppy and they'll forecast this outcome for you waaaay in advance.
No one likes someone else touching what they consider still theirs. Doormats are no exception.
I guess it's not so wierd, but it's been a LONG time since I've seen my W jealous. Felt pretty good, although I'm surprised, and pleased, how I'm feeling lately. I'm happy staying distant from her, and I've decided I deserve much better than what she's been giving me, and not just since she left, but for a couple years beforehand as well. In the past I would have been thrilled that she came to see us at the game, and would have offered for her to sit with us (there were plenty of open seats), and would have suggested we all get beers and have a grand ole time. Blech! My eyes are open now. I haven't gotten involved with anyone else, but I'm getting enough attention from other women to make me realize what I could have and what I deserve. I was so committed to my M and family that I was willing to live on whatever scraps were thrown my way.
So now she's spying on me? This just gets wierder and wierder.
not at all. she wanted to know if this woman was prettier than her. normal, typical, expected reaction.
So funny! And what if she is prettier? What if she's not? Then what? If that's what where my W is, she's got it all wrong. This other woman is NICE to me, and my kids. She treats me with complete RESPECT, as do some other women I've met. That's what has me walking away from my W, and that's what has me realizing I deserve more. For the record though... she ain't bad ;-)
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I think it is time you set up a one on one social interaction on a evening where you would need to ask your wife to switch nights with the kids (that is they cant sleep at your place and you will have to pick them up late in the afternoon the next day). Come over dressed to kill and flirt abit but then run out the door. Magic 8 ball says your cell phone will be ringing all night long.
LOL! Like you and Puppy have been saying for a while now, my W is too smart for that. She'd see through it in a second, and it would actually make her feel BACK in control. I need to be more subtle. The basketball game worked because it was real, and it was the kids that clued her in, not me. If I need a night off from the kids, I would ask her mother to take them, as I have in the past. The cool thing is, she would still hear about it, either from the kids, or her mother. Even the whole schtick of me being dressed to kill, she'd hear about that too. The fact that she has to hear about it second hand makes it even better I think. Allows her to know less, and wonder more.
I wouldn't have answered her. And I DAMNED sure wouldn't have answered her FRIEND!
Ugh! Here is where I always fail. I don't know if this is a "nice guy" trait, or just simple courtesy, but ignoring someone is so blasted rude! In my mind, it's no different than if someone came right up to me and addressed me. For me to just pretend they're not there goes so against my grain. As Gnosis said recently regarding my situation, ugly is the new good, so maybe I should go against my grain and be rude. What my W did was FAR more than just rude!
Realize, her friend is my friend too. Her and her husband and kids were our best friends when we were still together. I think the fact my W had her friend text me is EXACTLY what she wanted to do, as she knew I'd be less likely to blow her off. And I'm sure she wanted her friend there as emotional backup in case I was with another woman.
It's not rude -- it's self-preservation. You ignore it, then text her back from the parking lot after the game: "Sorry, just got this. What a game, huh?! :o)"
I recently realized the power of all this. I was so worried before that I'd be pushing my W back into OM's arms, but I think that's exactly wrong. If she is feeling jealous, and if she is wondering why I made my declaration that our M was over, the LAST thing she'll want to do is make some plan with OM that would push me even FURTHER away, especially after she told me her A with OM was over, for good. If she's worried about losing me, and if she sees that I'm finally walking away, she'd know that demonstrating another lie would just validate my reasons.
It's not rude -- it's self-preservation. You ignore it, then text her back from the parking lot after the game: "Sorry, just got this. What a game, huh?! :o)"
Exactly! I've got to get better at that. At least for once I legitamately didn't want to respond, but only felt compelled to as a simple courtesy. And I absolutely did NOT want to see her at that game. I was quite p*ssed she intruded like that.
