WAW has been gone for almost a week. I am surprised at how well that week has gone. For the most part, I have been feeling much better than I was during the weeks leading up to her moving. I don't know if it's the Prozac or simply that the pressure is gone. Or maybe, the reality simply isn't as bad as I thought it would be.
WAW bought groceries for the kids and I yesterday as per our agreement. She also made dinner for S16 and she and I. My son and I were working out while she made dinner and she left right after eating, so I actually saw her very little. I was polite, but distant.
At one point she said "aren't you going to talk to me?" I had said a few things to her, but didn't feel like being all friendly with the woman who left me less than a week earlier. When she left she asked for a hug and I simply said "no". I have done a good job of moving on, and think hugging her would set me back. I did say thanks for dinner and good bye.
I am going to email her today to request that she removes the final few items from my closet and to get the mail key (she still has it!!).
We will see each other at her Grandmother's funeral on Wednesday, and then breifly next Sunday as well. No dinner together then though, since she has her company XMAS party that day.
It's odd that yesterday, she seemed like a guest at my house. Not my wife. I think that's a good thing...yes?
I just finished reading all of this thread and I must say it has given me inspiration. Our situations are really similar even down to a sick wife. I too have been through DB'ing a couple times and am back her once again. And most importantly I have been terrible about standing up to my wife and being a doormat.
This has given me inspiration to get the "NMMNG" book and start taking back my life.
Again I just want to say thanks. Keep it up.
Lynn
ME: 37 W: 32 S11 D6 Together: 14 yrs. Married: 12 yrs. Previous PA: 8 yrs. ago Previous EA: 1 yr ago
BTM got enough 2x4's to build a house. BTM I am going to be very honest with you. Week two is going to be tough. If you really think your going to back pedal send me an email and we can talk via the phone if needed. I am here for ya.
It's been a week since WAW did her walking. I am still feeling very calm and collected.
WAW texted me once this week to say she's "shocked by my lack of compassion" since she is dealing with the death of her grandmother this week and I asked her to get her last few things out of my closet. I did not respond in any way.
Today, she called me at work to say that D18 is upset that I am referring to her as my ex-wife. She reminded me that we are still married. Well..in her mind anyway. I said I would be careful not to use that word in front of her. But, that's it.
Tomorrow I will be going to the funeral, but not to WAW father's place after the funeral. I don't consider it my job anymore. I will try to be caring towards my WAW, but have no intention of being the way I usually would - again not my job right now.
Cutter - I am thinking week two may even be easier than week one. But....if I think I am about to lose it, I will be in touch.
Sounds good, and I agree with her, she is not your xwife yet. But she certainly did not like the sound of it. You seem to be getting reaction from her, and that is a good thing.
She may be realizing that you were nice to have around at times like this.
Also, be nice to her, like you would a friend, but do not fall into that carring roll. She chose for you not to be there, not you. I like your plan for the funeral.
Tomorrow I will be going to the funeral, but not to WAW father's place after the funeral. I don't consider it my job anymore. I will try to be caring towards my WAW, but have no intention of being the way I usually would - again not my job right now.
Do you have "issues" with her family. esp. those that where close with grandma? Do they have "issues" with you?
I went to the funeral yesterday and to the burial site as well. I was surprised by how little I felt for my WAW. Again, it may be the Prozac numbing my feelings overall. WAW initiated hugs a couple of times and I hugged back, but she obviously could tell there was little feeling in it, since she said "can you give me a real hug".
This morning I called WAW to check on her. That's the first time since she left that I contacted her without a reason, other than to see how she is. I don't want her to feel like I have lost all compassion for her.
BTM I am going to be very honest with you. Week two is going to be tough. If you really think your going to back pedal send me an email and we can talk via the phone if needed. I am here for ya.