I hope you realize that the only significant thing about today is that now you are not legally liable for your ex-wife or vice versa.
I just checked the calander and realize that mine was official one year ago from yesterday. Such a day means nothing emotionally to me now or back then.
The biggest issue for me is that my XW happened to have a huge operation on our official D day a year ago for which she was still on my insurance. At that time, she payed for any amounts above that which the insurance did not cover. But the stupid hospital/insurance billing department is now trying to get me to pay additional charges for something that happened a year ago. I think their computer system is really messed up and they cant give me any reason as to what the new charges are for. Oh boy, I can hardly wait for health care/insurance to be taken over by the government - NOT!
The biggest issue for me is that my XW happened to have a huge operation on our official D day a year ago for which she was still on my insurance. At that time, she payed for any amounts above that which the insurance did not cover. But the stupid hospital/insurance billing department is now trying to get me to pay additional charges for something that happened a year ago. I think their computer system is really messed up and they cant give me any reason as to what the new charges are for. Oh boy, I can hardly wait for health care/insurance to be taken over by the government - NOT!
Luckily for me, the insurance is in her name only, but I write the monthly checks. So I'm sort of a 'shadow' in this case with no liability.
Stop it..... just stop...... Today, no different than yesterday unless you make it different.....
Ian
I'll make it better.
Good. B/C saying "so sad to be div" isn't dealing with what is reality. What's sadder than being div? Being in limbo forever. When do you think you'll give up the chains you are dragging around with you and start living your new life? The one with GAL stuff and 180's? Losing a house in this area is not a big fat failure. Hell, it might be brilliant. A lousy marriage ending is not the biggest disaster either. You need to move fast now Frank, b/c you are behind where you need to be and where you ought to be by now.
I wouldn't say that to someone not cognitively capable of "getting it", but you are smart enough to know this. And I believe strongly that "Where the head goes, the heart will follow." So stop the "stinkin' thinkin'" and get it right in your head and heart and be happy. It's not so complicated. Why stay stuck? It baffles me.
( j )
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I choose to open my letter to you with a corny cliche line that gets bandied back and forth here on eveyone's threads, yet, truly has much meaning:
Originally Posted By: The Wizard
A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others.
You are loved here Frank.
Whether you stopped a moment of pain or kept someone from giving up too early or talked to someone when they were lonely....you made a difference in the lives of many people here. I'm one of them.
No one will ever know exactly why some people in life are able to take integrity and love to a high level and others, well, throw it all away at the first sign of trouble. Some choose to create, some choose to destroy. Some choose to take a shapeless object and sculpt it into a thing of beauty. Some can't stop and see the beauty of a wildflower on the side of the road.
Like the scene in The Terminator, the blast goes off without warning and we are left cleaning to the fence while we are incinerated in anger and twisted emotions. We are painted with a much darker brush than the pastels that we really are.
Sometimes I believe that when the dust clears, the best thing to do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off, not look back and keep on pressing forward. Let the colors shine through again.
Divorce be not proud. It's time to start anew. This is a new beginning. It's a chance to go back out and risk....a chance to re-experience...an opportunity to find the love that the older partner was unable to show you. It's about new tools now. Like going to Home Depot and taking a plumbing course and installing a new sink. Yeah...there may be a few leaks the first time out, but, we learn and then move onto better and more exciting projects.
Frank, I've seen many people face death in my life. I've had to tell people they have cancer. When that spot shows up on the chest Xray, it's too late to say that you're gonna quit smoking. You can't go back and get that colonoscopy after the colon cancer has spread to the liver.
It BEHOOVES you now to go out and enjoy life Frank-0. It's time Frank. You've given SO MUCH time to other people in your life...to people here....to me....others. It's payback time and it's time to give back to yourself.
Companionship...respect...and love..is out there Frank....for you. It's up to you whether or not you choose to let it back into your life. Get the real Frank back and start enjoying again.
Make it so.
Eastern Frank
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Good. B/C saying "so sad to be div" isn't dealing with what is reality. What's sadder than being div? Being in limbo forever. When do you think you'll give up the chains you are dragging around with you and start living your new life? The one with GAL stuff and 180's? Losing a house in this area is not a big fat failure. Hell, it might be brilliant. A lousy marriage ending is not the biggest disaster either. You need to move fast now Frank, b/c you are behind where you need to be and where you ought to be by now.
I wouldn't say that to someone not cognitively capable of "getting it", but you are smart enough to know this. And I believe strongly that "Where the head goes, the heart will follow." So stop the "stinkin' thinkin'" and get it right in your head and heart and be happy. It's not so complicated. Why stay stuck? It baffles me.
I didn't realize it was a 'lousy marriage' until now. I am dense I guess. But I see it now. And it wasn't just me, I had a lousy partner who I kept trying to please because I was insecure.
I'm taking actions to stop the 'stuck' and 'stinkin thinkin'. I'm reaching out and letting people help me. 3 meetings a day. No more medicating, pity, fear. I don't want to stay stuck any more.
I AM moving. I've suffered enough and I don't know why. I got caught up in my pity party, and staying in limbo and medicating. I realize now I need people locally to help and I'm making connections.
It BEHOOVES you now to go out and enjoy life Frank-0. It's time Frank. You've given SO MUCH time to other people in your life...to people here....to me....others. It's payback time and it's time to give back to yourself.
Companionship...respect...and love..is out there Frank....for you. It's up to you whether or not you choose to let it back into your life. Get the real Frank back and start enjoying again.
Too much isolating. Now I'm making sure I go to meetings where I know people and I reach out. I need people in my life. For real, not just in Cyberspace.
