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Joined: Sep 2009
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Hey Peace,

It is sad that they do not put the children's interests ahead of their own. I have felt the same way about my child. Of course, we want the best for our children and hate to see them hurt by all of this.

All we need to do is to continue to provide them with love and happiness. Let's enjoy all of our moments with them.

I do understand how hard it is to see our spouse in so much pain. I think that is what keeps us attached to them. We want them to get through this and become that person we knew in the past.

We are all here to support you. Stay strong!!!


Me- 31 yrs old

Her- 33 yrs old

S- 3 yrs old

Bomb- 4/ 09

Moved out- 6/ 09
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,549
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You are amazingly strong and doing the correct thing. You have to protect the business. Your ex has choices, he is doing this to his children.


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

Joined: Feb 2008
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The kids probably shouldn't be around him right now if he's using anyway. You've done the best thing under the circumstances.

Joined: Apr 2007
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XH very quiet
He called in 2 orders to the office/called early purposely and left VM
other than that NO word from him
no return calls to kids
I explained to my D 14
yesterday- Dad is sick
He is on medication
He no longer works with the business

she was sad
I kept it brief, to the point and honest
she has to know the truth
she still doesnt know he is M and never met OW
so that truth will come next
I sense xh has to hibernate for now
he has to figure out what will be next for him as far as work goes
all I can say is the business is flowing in more and better
The office is organized and peacful without him
and everyone else is doing theeir expected jobs
peace


married 14 years
H 42
bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
M ow D ow
Joined: Jan 2007
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Peace,

It's good to hear the business is doing well. I can only imagine how much easier it is for everybody in the office with him gone.

I feel for your daughter though.

HUGS

Joined: Mar 2007
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So sad what the kids have to go through, but from all the stories I hear, it just seems like an inevitable part of the process. Doesn't mean it will always be this way though.

Hope it's some relief to you that you don't have to see him on a daily basis.

How are things with new bf going?

Joined: Apr 2007
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Grace
thanks for your support
Yes, the office seems to be peaceful
we havew even restored a customer that xh lost
God is behind this
I could never do it

SH
It is sad for the kids

BF and I are doing well
it is 4 plus months of dating/8 of friendship
the R seems to be everything I need right now
Not sure where it will go, but just trying to enjoy the moments
and let go of the need to knbow the future
so Im grateful

I think if things would stabalize one way oe the other with xh
either he gets clean and works on himself or I totally accept letting him go regarding business and kids
I can focua moew on myself
my new R
and where im going
right now I have a lot of parts of the business to learn
many of it I did not know
so im busy enough
peace


married 14 years
H 42
bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
M ow D ow
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,925
P
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OP Offline
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P
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,925
xh called D out of the blue yeaterday
He said he was coming over to take kids out
first time in 3-4 weeks, he has seen tham
first time he has returned a call to them in a while
XH picked them up outside
I was relieved as O thought he would pick a fight with me over money or our business which he is no lonmger working at
he had D call me to tell me certain customers had called him during the past week to give me information
so I dont know what he is upo to
D said he had money and spent a bit on them, but he is not working
so Im glad he had money
I sense He may walk away from business or is he waiting? to see what he will get
meanwhile the busienss continues to HEAL from all his abuse
and I comtimue to know I did the right thing by asking him to go
peace


married 14 years
H 42
bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
M ow D ow
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,925
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,925
I have a friend I think in mLc
she calls me for support
I hear her story
same as we have heard
she never shoulf have M him
it was never right
there is no going back
he is standing
she hates the sight of him
came on quickly as when I went thru it she was working on her M and was supportive of me
then Boom
OM in picture but its not working out
he is totally unavaialable
it is so weird to go theu it first hand
I encourage her to NOT date but to work on herself
she is very pulled to other men and wants a new R
one thing is for sure
In this sitcuation she is not going back anttime soon and I believe from what I hear she will NOT EVERR return
she says its like a point you cross where youn work so hard in the M and she says she did and I know she has tried in the past
but its gets beyond the point of NO return
I think thats wehat happened to my M too and the OP justs pulls them right out
peace


married 14 years
H 42
bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
M ow D ow
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,925
P
Member
OP Offline
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P
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,925
I called xh yesterday
heard nothing from him in about a week
he is in hiding
no calls to kids
he said he is looking for work and broke
He last worked at our business over 3 weeks ago
the business is running better without him..

I felt bad for him
he seemed confused on phone
filing for unemployment
the crises has taken everything from him
he shows no attempt to stop the meds eventhough I though I made it clear to him he could work again in the business if he were clean from the prescription drugs

I dont know if /when he will call the kids
they are now adjusting to seeing him when ever 1x a month maybe
he seemed still very angry at me
he didnt like my boundries but I am so glad I set them or I would walking on eggshells with the business and kids for the rest of my life with him
Id rather be without him totally if that is my choice
peace


married 14 years
H 42
bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
M ow D ow
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