My W asked if she could swap nights with me tonight and let me have the girls Thursday night instead of tonight so that they could go to her moms and set up a Christmas tree together. I said that is fine but I told her the girls do have to go to their C appointment. She said she will take them. I will just reschedule my C appointment for another night.
Apparently my W wants us all to do dinner for D11's birthday Friday night as a family and then Saturday we will be taking them with 3 of D11's friends to Six Flags.
I am going to get my Christmas tree out of the garage and have me and the girls set it up this weekend together. Wish W was going to be there to do it with us. But we will make a good time out of it regardless.
W already bought herself a real Christmas tree and set it up in the house with our girls. I really don't want to go inside and see it. I shouldn't have to since our fake tree is in the garage.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Any reason why you're so bummed about the holidays (aside from the sitch)?
Your W is inviting you to stuff, asking you for things not demanding like before. If you still want to save your M, now is the time to do it. Plus all the goodwill that comes along with the holidays might soften her up a bit.
Right now you just sound real depressed. You've got alot of positives that you just can't see.
Detach so you will be able to see the positives objectively.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Any reason why you're so bummed about the holidays (aside from the sitch)?
The sitch pretty much is the reason. I loved the holidays every year prior to this one because it was family filled and we did it together, everything. Decorating, get togethers, events, etc. It was great. Now, I am not invited to any of it with W and her family and so I kind of bums me out.
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Your W is inviting you to stuff, asking you for things not demanding like before. If you still want to save your M, now is the time to do it. Plus all the goodwill that comes along with the holidays might soften her up a bit.
The only thing W has done is asked me to do D11's birthday together. She hasn't invited me to anything else. And she is only doing D11's Birthday that way for D11. I hope the goodwill that comes with the holidays does soften her up. But I think her heart is with someone else. It isn't with me. I would agree that now is definitely the time to save the M if I can get that time in to do it with. I am going to make the most of every moment I can with her.
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Right now you just sound real depressed. You've got alot of positives that you just can't see.
I hope you are right about this. I don't think I am that depressed so much as I just want to speed through the holidays and get them done with unless there is some kind of miracle that takes place in the M which I would be eternally grateful for.
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Detach so you will be able to see the positives objectively.
Trying to. I am spending time with friends this holiday season and trying to enjoy the moments with them when I don't have my girls.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
"The only thing W has done is asked me to do D11's birthday together. She hasn't invited me to anything else. "
Let's put it this way. This coming from the woman who pretty much drove you away to another state. That small invite (even if it was for your D) is a big step. She's extended olive branch after olive branch to you, but you don't see it or the changes aren't enough for you or fast enough.
Coach is a great example of sticking through things with patience. Be happy when you see them and not depressed. Or at least as depressed as you sound on these boards. At the very least, your D's shouldn't see you depressed.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Coach is a great example of sticking through things with patience. Be happy when you see them and not depressed. Or at least as depressed as you sound on these boards. At the very least, your D's shouldn't see you depressed.
I agree! Hope4Us's old threads would be another great example. They were both far more patient than I could ever be!
Kevin, Stuck is so right. What I wouldn't do to be included in something even if it was for our D's sake. Nothing in over a year when this mess all began.
Looking from the outside in you are doing great even though you don't see it.
As far as holidays, I wish they would just be over already. Barely made it through Thanksgiving and now Christmas. I would love for him to do something as a family for the kids sake.
I just spoke with my W. Now I know that I am really making assumptions in my mind at this point. Anyways, she went home apparently for lunch to check and see if my phone was there since I had it delivered to the house instead of the apartment since I have already had one package never show up to the apartment. Wasn't going to risk that again. She didn't answer her phone while she was at the house and didn't call me back. She was gone from work for a good long while. My assumption is that she was not alone at the house. Anyways, what difference does it make.
Well, I asked if I could go ahead and have the girls tomorrow night instead of Thursday night since I had agreed to swap tonight for her and her mother, the infamous MIL. Oh the Christmas spirit just runs through me when it comes to the MIL. Anyways, apparently my W and MIL are all having a birthday dinner for D11 tomorrow night that I was not invited to or even told about. For some reason, MIL calls all the shots on any event to make sure I am not there even if it is a birthday dinner for my D11. Can you just feel my "love" towards this woman dwindling further if that was possible.
Here I am willing to give up my night to make her night better since she is depressed because their landscaping business is making less money this year. So my W wants to take the girls over there and my W and her sister want to buy a Christmas tree for MIL and have the girls go over and decorate and try and make it a good night for MIL. I agree to this. W says nothing about the birthday dinner they are all doing without me until I ask for the girls tomorrow night. Why do I have a heart to try and make such an evil MIL have a better night when she does everything in her power to make sure I am excluded from anything and everything. She doesn't allow my girls to talk about me in front of her. She doesn't allow me within sight of her or anywhere near her property. Yet I do things out of the goodness of my heart for her that I really don't have to do. I could say screw her. But I don't. She is such a bitter evil person. It pisses me off that nobody in the family will stand up to this grinch. They all sit over by themselves with my kids and I am not allowed anywhere near them.
Yet I don't know if my W has any care that I give up the girls to try and make events and evenings and things happy for her mom whom I have grown to just hate so much. Yet, I still try and be kind to a thankless bitter old woman. I have done this many times for MIL just to bring her some happiness. And what do I constantly get in return? SSDD.
Kevin
Last edited by K4D; 12/01/0908:13 PM.
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
If it wasn't for the MIL, nobody else has a problem with me being part of the family events especially with my own kids. Yet none of them have the guts to stand up to that lady.
Pathetic. Truly pathetic. I wish my girls didn't have such a corrupt and pathetic MIL.
Ok, I am done with that rant.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I just want to ask my W, why does nobody have the guts to stand up to MIL especially when it involves the kids. Why does everyone let MIL get away with that when the kids are involved? Such a gutless family. Ugg, I really have to let this drop. It is eating at me right now.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
