At this moment in time I really don't want to think about that....
But yes, it is great that after 21 years, I still think she's hot. She is absolute cougar material and is sexier now than she was when I met her at 18 years old.
One week from today, my WAW will do the actual walking.
Feeling very down today and not nearly as strong as yesterday. This rollercoaster sure isn't much fun. Even though I am having a tough day, I will continue to hold my newly formed boundaries and won't show WAW how much I hurt today. I won't see her until after work tonight, and hopefully will be feeling better by then.
This is going to be one very tough week, but I refuse to backslide - Cutter you are buying me a beer!
I hear you. No one said it was going to be easy, but these feelings will pass. Keep busy to distract your thoughts. Keep it up, you're been doing great.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
I've purposely stayed away from the site for a few days. I decided I was thinking and planning too much and not just feeling and living.
Cutter - No need to buy me that beer. I haven't managed to keep up my end of the deal.
I have been too cuddly with WAW and talking too much about future and R. She is still 100% steadfast in her decision to move out, but also seems to think there is definite possibility of reconciliation. She said that up until I said our separation must be leading to divorce, she never thought that. I think she is being honest.
It's been a strange couple of days, as there is a closeness between us that has not been there for quite some time.
Not really sure how I will approach things from here forward, but am getting myself prepared for 4 days from now when my WAW leaves for her apartment.
We are still going on that family trip to Mexico at XMAS time, so I am going to just go with the flow (whatever that means) between now and then to ensure everyone has a good time. In the new year, I will re-examine things.
For now though, I need to try to just relax and stop constantly working on saving my marriage. I am emotionally drained and just need to try to give myself a break from thinking through every action and comment. I need to just be human for a while.
I will be leaving for work soon, and when I come home she will be gone.
We slept in our/my bed last night and then this morning she got up early and left. We had a very brief cuddle before she got out of bed and few words were exchanged. While to me this is the biggest day of my life, she seems very cold and acts like it's not really the end of our marriage. She even referred to me as a "drama queen" when I said it would likely be the last time in our lives we wake up together, cuddle etc.
While it makes me sad that she cares so little, it also makes me realize it's time to move on with my life. It actually makes me a little angry and I can use that anger today.
The third stage of my life starts today. I am scared and lonely.
Let her go, my wife flat out told me, that she needed to figure herself out before she could do anything about the R, it really hit me, she just wants to be left alone, which I did. Quit being so grabby needy, be the man that knows a woman would be damn lucky to be with you, that is the attitude you need to project.
