I already know you are going to point out the trend. When I become attached, they leave. When I am detached, they hang around.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
In that case, why even mention it. The past is the past. Live in the present.
Stuck jogged my memory when he told me to go out and get laid.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
"I already know you are going to point out the trend. When I become attached, they leave. When I am detached, they hang around."
Actually that wasn't what I was implying. I just wasn't sure if you were this clingy to all the people you've been with.
Seriously I think you are one person who needs to find companionship and asap. It's not a flaw or anything, sometimes there are those who need it. And let's face it, you've gone through this whole year staying stuck in this same place you are right now. No one's saying you need to find another wife. God knows you're not ready for that. But you keep twisting your beliefs saying how you're a stander, then want to give up, then assuming that the rest of us really want someone in our lives, when deep down it's what YOU want.
So go ahead and just do it already. Stop looking for validation and permission here to do what you want to do which is hook up with another woman. Just do it.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I will admit that I am someone that relies on companionship.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Detaching has nothing to do with the value others bring to your life; it simply means you let go of trying to control the who, when, why and how. It helps you become a person that attracts the who you want, and hopefully the when, how and why follows.
Many of us (myself included) were co-dependent upon our spouses. We relied on them to make us happy, fulfill us and make us "feel whole." The truth is, the only person responsible for my happiness, fulfilment, wholeness is....ME. A relationship built on the belief that my spouse is supposed to make me happy is destined to fail. And, it's just unhealthy.
So, we all have to embrace the fact that we, and we alone, determine if we will be happy. You have to like yourself and have respect for yourself in order for you to be happy. That means respecting yourself enough not to be treated badly (being insulted, yelled at, run down by another). If you are treated badly, you played a part in LETTING it happen. Either you put up with it, or you simply accepted it as normal (maybe you thought you deserved it). So, like yourself enough to be treated well.
Once you understand, and accept, that you alone are responsible for your happiness, you stop putting your moods, emotions and feelings in someone else's hands. That doesn't mean you don't open yourself up to a relationship. It means that if spouse is having a bad day or is in a bad mood, it does not make you have a bad day/mood. And that's b/c your happiness does not depend upon SPOUSE's mood.
- written by another poster on this board
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Happy Thanksgiving Kev and everyone else on this thread!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I just want to wish each and everyone of you a very Happy Thanksgiving. I am thankful for all of you.
GO COWBOYS!!!!
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Well the Cowboys won! You should be thrilled right?
Hope your Thanksgiving went well. Mine made me realize that as much as I want things different, some things never change.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
