K4D Rising #4

[K4D]

I didn't say everyone. I said more than most admit. Why do you think so many people start dating again after they have accepted their M as over? Because they have a need in their life that they want met in the form of a person/relationship.

Why is that so offensive to state that?

Kevin

[K4D]

I agree with Antlers.

I think what they have really done is detach from a situation. But not from the need to have a person/relationship.

Kevin

[Deep]

Kevin, I'm not pretending to speak for anyone but my own take is this:

Sure, we're all social animals, we want interaction, affection, and love. Want, not need. We invested a LOT in Ms that went south, many of us here, to the point that co-dependency could be an understatement.

Our sitches woke us up to many things. We had to become whole again as a person to come out of it all. We learn to accept what we can't control, which includes choices and feelings of our WAS and / or future people in our lives.

We know our lives can be meaningful, important, relevant, irrespective of what others choose to do.

Detaching has nothing to do with the value others bring to your life; it simply means you let go of trying to control the who, when, why and how. It helps you become a person that attracts the who you want, and hopefully the when, how and why follows.

[antlers]

Detaching has nothing to do with the value others bring to your life; it simply means you let go of trying to control the who, when, why and how. It helps you become a person that attracts the who you want, and hopefully the when, how and why follows.

That's a very good way of putting it.

[K4D]

It helps you become a person that attracts the who you want, and hopefully the when, how and why follows.

WANT being the powerful word here. Is it really WANT or DESIRE or NEED? You are wanting someone for a reason. If you WANT someone, it is possibly because you have a need that you WANT met. Whether it is the need to not be lonely, the need to share with someone, etc. I think that WANT often correlates with NEED when it comes to people and relationships. I could go further into this, but I don't have the time today.

Kevin

[K4D]

CG,

I think you are one of the people that truly has detached.

Kevin

[K4D]

Well,

I guess if that was offensive, then I don't know what to say. It was just my POV on a lot of situations.

Kevin

[K4D]

Happy Thanksgiving everyone?

Kevin

[K4D]

Maybe I should just leave my thoughts out all together and just stick to whatever my daily or weekly situation is.

Kevin

[smith18]

Kevin, I dont really think you know what detachment or letting go is about. It has nothing to do with wanting, needing or desiring to be with another person.

To "let go" does not mean to stop caring.
It means I can't do it for someone else.

To "let go" is not to cut myself off.
It's the realization I can't control another.

To "let go" is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To "let go" is to admit powerlessness
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another.
It's to make the most of myself.

To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.

To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To "let go" is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.

To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To "let go" is not to be protective.
It's to permit another to face reality.

To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.

To "let go" is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.

To "let go" is to not regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To "let go" is to fear less and LOVE MYSELF MORE.