This is making more sense now, but I would be still be concerned about if she still has residual issues dealing with her abuse that need to be addressed. She is escaping into drugs and alcohol so frequently and heavily for some reason and that could very well be it.
Yes, Bunny, she has real reasons to be hurt.
I think the alcohol and (rare) drug use are about escaping from right now, not the past. Note: other than one glass of wine she has not drank in 4-5 days.
I didn't mean it in a "tit for tat" kind of way. Just that timing sucks.
As for her hating her ****king life - it's her life and her choices. It's no longer my job to make everything better. I won't add to her problems, but that's it.
Well, don't you think she knows the timing sucks regarding her pay cut? "Great timing" sounds negative and almost like a blame. How could you have answered in a detached but positive way?
Gee W, sorry to hear that, I guess the economy is really hard on everybody right now.
And, had you answered in a more positive fashion it could have been the perfect segway to open up the money/budget talk again.
EX: Gee W, that is too bad. It's always difficult to take a pay cut but I guess the silver lining is it will motivate us to create a workable budget for the short term that we both are comfortable with.
Well, don't you think she knows the timing sucks regarding her pay cut? "Great timing" sounds negative and almost like a blame. How could you have answered in a detached but positive way?
Gee W, sorry to hear that, I guess the economy is really hard on everybody right now.
And, had you answered in a more positive fashion it could have been the perfect segway to open up the money/budget talk again.
EX: Gee W, that is too bad. It's always difficult to take a pay cut but I guess the silver lining is it will motivate us to create a workable budget for the short term that we both are comfortable with.
I am sure she does know. But, what do you think she was looking for when she texted me? What am I going to do for her to make it any better? She can't continue to shun me and say I need help etc, and then expect me to be there only when she needs me. I am a package deal. You can't just have the parts you like when you want them.
My WAW has no concept of budgeting and her choice to move out is costing us money and I am done thinking about it. I will continue to be the responsible one and keep paying our household bills and concerned about the future, while she will only worry about here and now. I am done talking about money and budgets.
Well, then its good you are seeking legal counsel so you can get all that sorted out on who will be responsible for what.
Just remember - in most cases a divorce costs both parties "half" and once your W sees the reality of it all with her pay cut then her rose colored glasses might begin to slip off.
