Total immaturity. I texted my STBXW to see if she had responded to RSVP for a BD party that D6 is invited to. No response. Later that evening I texted her, telling her that I called the mom, there was no RSVP and that I would like to take D6 (it's my short Friday today). It's a movie theater party. As usual, STBXW is not honoring our verbal agreement that I would see the kids on altnernating Fridays. Texts:
STBXW: I am taking her.
Me: RSVP then. Will see you guys there.
STBXW: Don't forget the present (a swipe at me. Funny...for the last 3 years, the parent taking the kids to the party purchases the gift).
Me: If you are taking D6, u buy it. If she's going with me, I'll buy it with her.
Nothing left but hostility, barbs, hitting below the belt. Of course, there was no response.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I want to thank all of you for supporting me. I hurt tonite, but, for reasons much different than from when I first got here. This evening was probably was of the 'best' nights I've had with respects to GAL and DB'ing, yet, now, seems the most darkest of all. In the beginning, I had hope. I even told my W only days after the bomb and finding this place that I would make her fall in love with me again. Now, I'm not so sure that even I can do that. I said earlier, and I repeat, I am releasing myself from all of this....that, it truly IS 'all about my W' right now.
Just a though...how important...is our intuition and insight as we 'counsel' people here?
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Considering that all we have to go on are a few words on the computer screen, I'd say intuition and insight are huge. And sometimes we get it wrong, I'm sure.
VH....agree. Ugh. I am rereading when I first discovered STBXW's EA which probably in retrospect was a PA. Ugh. I wish this was over.
If there is ANY anger..now..it's that I was 'seeing babysteps' and 'DB'ing' when I was being cheated on.
Jeff...you SO counseled me to 'throw down the sword'. The Emperor's New Clothes. Many days, in spite of how horrible this is, I wish I had filed earlier.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Some original posters on my thread...where are they now: kevmac, focus, sunflower23.
DonH's wife remarried. I call him from time to time.
SingleDad is waiting for D papers to be signed.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I just wanted to share something with you that I read today, and it applies to so many here on this board...
"The goal of healing is to have whatever harm you've suffered become the 'least' important thing about you. Other proples behavior is not about you at all. Only your core value is about you."
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Hey FIB, As you know I am a recent reader of your thread because I appreciate your straight forward, no nonsense style that I stumbled upon on other threads. We did the best we could with the tools we had at the time. I don't think we can blame ourselves for the action of our WAS...I know the general thought on this site is that we have to accept that we were also to blame. Well, I don't buy into that. We all tried DBing and hung on...some of us continue to ...longer than we should. I was told early on by my dad to move on. I chose not to. I do not regret it...i do not regret anything I did. We are not the reason why we are on this site...remember that. I love the quote from antlers above. As long as our core values are fine, we will be fine. I would rather be me than the WAS even if they seem to have suffered less and are seemingly able to turn the page quicker than us. I would not change my place for theirs... You will be ok FIB...there will be bumps on the road...going forward. Do yourself a huge favour and stop looking back and second guessing yourself. The past is just that...you can do something about today and maybe tommorow. There are good folks out there FIB....you will see.
This is very good. I needed to read something like it today. Thanks.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
