SM, That is freakin fantastic. If Kevin could pull that off, that would be the biggest 180 of his life, and sure to leave his STBXW dazed and confused!!
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
Got my coffee in hand waiting to see what happens....
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Got my coffee in hand waiting to see what happens....
Seriously?
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Got my coffee in hand waiting to see what happens....
Seriously?
Kevin
Heck Ya!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Well, the latest I have is that W is going to attend C for the girls this next session. The C wants to talk to W about her interactions with the kids. D11 has really been verbally going after D7 for every little thing which is something that the C is working on D11 with. W kept trying to convince me last night that our separated situation had nothing to do with D11's actions and anger toward everyone. Funny thing is, I didn't say anything about it. Must be her guilt talking trying to convince herself that this has no affect on the kids.
Today is grandparents day at the school. W's mom was supposed to eat lunch with D7 today. They registered and built up D7's hopes. Last night W tells me to let D7 know that her grandma for the 3rd time in a row is canceling yet again on D7. D7 cried and said she always does this. The sad thing is that she does. She always makes sure she is there for anything regarding D11 or her other grandchild, but D7 always gets slighted. I told W that her mom needs to be the one and call D7 to tell her, but her mom wouldn't do it. Her mom apparently has a job interview this morning which would normally be fine except that she always backs out on D7 for most occasions. So it really didn't matter to D7.
My BIL may be coming in on Sunday now instead of Saturday. So I am waiting to hear on that.
Busy day at work today.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
you might remember, Leave them alone, and they'll come home. Wagging their tails behind them....
Except I am the one that got kicked out of the home. She is already home. I want to go home. But yes, I agree, and I am looking to pull off the biggest 180 of my life.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Why did you do your W's dirty work. It was your W's mom that had to cancel on your daughter so it should have been your W that told D7.
How could you have handled that in a different manner?
Personally I would have said to your W.... "W, since this was an activity with YOUR mom I think it's best you tell daughter about the change of plans. I prefer not to be involved with YOUR family plans at this juncture so hang on a second and I will put D7 on the phone".
Her mom flaked and your W essentially told you to not only tell your daughter but left you to pick up the pieces of a heartbroken child when none of this had anything to do with you!
Do you have a webcam? Does your dad have a webcam? If not it might be something to think about. They aren't that expensive. Ask your dad to set aside some time this weekend so your little girl and have her grandparents lunch. Make it special. If your dad doesn't have a computer see if he can go to a friends house or Internet cafe.
Nip this in the bud NOW - do NOT do your W's dirty work. If your W's mom won't have a thing to do with you why in the world would you even consider telling your D7 the bad news?
What crap. Tell us again why you think your W is so wonderful? In the past week alone she mocked you when you did as she said and ONLY spoke about the children by saying "seriously?" when you asked for an official proposal regarding custody for the holidays. She invited herself to a dinner with YOUR family without even having the respect to ask you if felt okay about that AND she had you do her dirty work regarding the grandparents lunch. All that happened in one week.
I didn't think it was mine or W's job to break D7's heart yet again. But since her mom wouldn't do it, I did it.
I love the idea about lunch with my dad via webcam. I am going to suggest that to my dad. He will do it. He loves the girls. He is a great grandpa to them.
Quote:
Tell us again why you think your W is so wonderful?
She used to be wonderful. I don't qualify her as that right now. No chips come with her. At least not for me. Maybe for the other guys. Last night she was telling me how much money she lost due to her being sick for 4 days and so she is looking for another job and then will help contribute more to the C fees. I didn't say anything. I really don't want to hear it when she makes almost twice what I make.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
So, if your dad bailed on your daughter you would have your W break the news if your dad wouldn't?
Your W's mom - your W's job if her own mother doesn't even have the courtesy to contact D7.
IMO of course.
This is one example where you could have stood up to your W in a kind but firm way...."W, I understand YOU didn't break plans with D7 but your Mom did therefore I feel it necessary that you speak to D7 if your Mom will not".
Also, you did a good job not saying anything about the C'ing fees to your W. I do strongly suggest though you keep a log with receipts of all the sessions you paid for. Not to throw it in your W's face but should custody issues come up if and when divorce proceedings begin this record will be helpful to you. If your W makes twice what you do but somehow you managed to get your kids the help they *so* needed on a far less salary that speaks volumes about your dedication to parenting.
I am sure it feels like we are always coming down on you but you still give your W too much leeway when it comes to certain things. Now that you are co-parents *there* are certain jobs one of you have more obligation to than the other. You take care of the issues w/your extended family and let your W take care of the issues w/her extended family. Right now they should not be mingled at all IMO.
