WCW - I am not sure if I have ever posted to you before but I have read along. I really admire your patience! It is inspiring. It looks like you are seeing some real positives there!
trusting, thanks for posting. I actually ran out of patience a long time ago. I've tried most everything short of filing D papers to get H to budge off the fence he's perched on for so long. I have always wanted him to fall on my side but I am ready to deal with either side. Patience? not so much. Stamina may be a better word, and crazy!
BT, slow down? I wish! things run in spurts or shift with the seasons but not usually slow.
Awwhh FIB. Babysteps. I thought you threw that word out of your vocabulary! So sweet.
MsI, it must be almost time for your quarterly update? how are things??
Weekend update - H was pretty great all weekend, helped out when he could, joined in when he could, let me know if he was leaving or where he had been. When someone brought out a camera and told H to get in the picture he actually leaned into me. That's a big change from when he refused to be anywhere near me when a camera showed up! Also, he had a decision to make and had a deadline, and he said the words - "what do you think?" I offered my opinion but let H make the final decision.
Finances suck. It feels like there's always more to know than I know and I hate surprises.
Life could be worse, or better!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Obviously, you are still on top of things... err, well, except for the finances thing. I wouldn't want to look either.... there's probably something scary in that pile of financial paperwork.... I wouldn't want to be your H, nor you, but there are worse things in life....
You have your health, your horses, H is being reasonable, looking to fit himself back into your life, all in all, you've got a roof over head, food on the table when you're hungry... the weather has been great, there's a lot more to be grateful for, if you just turn around and look, as I'm sure you have when you begin to worry about those finances.
It will all work out in the end..... it always does!
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
LOL - patience, stamina, crazy, whatever you want to call it, I call it admirable! And it does seem like your H is coming around . . . I really hope things keep progressing for you and your H!
My very own Saturday morning. I don't get many of these lately, and it feels good. H is gone on a volunteer business trip. I told anyone who asked about coming today not to come before 10am today.
H gave me a hug before he left, and sent me a midnight text. I responded a few hours later when I woke up to let the dogs out. It used to be when we were apart that our days would start and end with calls to each other. Maybe? this is a hint of those times. Idunno.
H says he is out of money, can't pay his bills. Well that's nothing new!! I verbalized to him again that he can't just pay someone when they call, he has to manage his debt and be smart about it. That's not happening yet. I don't know yet where it's all headed. I see gobs of people filing bankruptcy for much less than what I know H has racked up. The thing is I know H makes good money when he is 'in the mode'. I still don't trust him enough to jump in whole heartedly to help him, he keeps taking babysteps but hasn't shown too many signs of changing his poor habits or commiting his heart to the M.
Hmm, I just got an email from H, even though it was for business.
The farmers having been going full throttle in the harvest, finally! The weather has been cooperating. That means with the crops off the fields I get to pull out the manure spreader and get rid of the manure pile today! yeah, how many gals get excited about that!! ME!!!
I found this file I saved from a while ago. How true it still is - Believe In Yourself And in your dream though impossible things may seem, Someday, somehow you'll get through to the goal you have in view.
Mountains fall and seas divide before the one who in his stride Takes a hard road day by day sweeping obstacles away.
Believe in yourself and in your plan. Say not - I cannot but, I can. The prizes of life we fail to win, Because we doubt the power within.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
I heard a trivia question on the local radio today. What's the percentage of people who have left their spouse for another person and wish they wouldn't have? ......................80% !!!
I must be in a cycle, I am feeling restless and irritable and wanting more from H. I am unsure if I should let the feelings surface and see where it goes or try to stuff them back down. For all I know H is waiting for me to make the first move so he can react to me, but I am waiting to react to him, while he waits to react to me......so we both just wait. No wonder this takes so long!! ugh
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Whatever you are doing seems to be working so why oh why do you consider doing something different???
Restless?? Bah.............
Stay the course. Even if you can't fully put your finger on what you are doing it is working b/c it is called *attitude*. Keep that attitude up. H sees it, clear as crystal.
Make him do the work..... You know better! I know, with the holidays coming on, it would be nice to have a special holiday, but you know as well as I do, one mis-step could cause him to run..... and he's feeling the holidays just as much as you do.
Patience..... slow and steady wins the race! You've done so well all along..... don't push, everything in it's own time.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
And it does seem like your H is coming around . . . I really hope things keep progressing for you and your H!
