My 10th anniversary was this year. I never considered doing anything. A WAW doesn't deserve any recognition of it. They are throwing away the M, why celebrate or even acknowledge its anniversary?
I actually forgot all about it on the morning of my 10th and went to work. Mid-morning I got a text message from my W saying "In case you're wondering, I am aware of what day it is today." Took me moment to figure out what she was talking about, but when I did, it hit me pretty hard. I texted back "Maybe someday I'll tell you what I had planned for this day."
Her Mom told me later on that my W was a crying wreck that day. I realized that maybe she wasn't as gone as I thought.
My advice is to ignore the day and see if your W acknowledges it in any way. That'll give you a little insight as to whether your M means anything to her any more.
Mine was dropped off at hotel we were staying at by the OM on our tenth. They were coming back from a buisness trip. This is one week before the bomb.
All I can say to that is OUCH!
That is one of those things that I really struggled with. I think it was what completely broke me back then. Just felt like pure venom. We had an ok weekend. But it was awkward. And at the time I could not put my finger on it. But now I know. Shed a ton of tears over that thought.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Yesterday was our 17 Anniversary. I gave her the "non anniversary" card - no reaction either way really and no card from her. Actually had an ok day at work.
Saw wife when I came home. She was crying a lot. Her Grandmother is now done to days to live. I went out for the night with a friend from work and she did as well. Sure is nothing compated to what I had planned only a few months ago.
I am doing well with working out with son, counselor, church, support group, and writing a journal. Much more controlled than I was.
WAW and I will be discussing financial issues later today. I have determined it is going to be tougher than I thought to keep the house for a year and a half while she is in her apartment. Funny - yesterday she said that when she is out shopping for things for her apartment, she wants to show me the stuff! She is still being quite friendly most of the time.
Let's see what happens during the $$$$ talk today....
When mine was out looking for condo's near OM. She would tell me about restraunts in the area. Saying Oh you will like this restraunt. I could see you going there over and over. I told her that I did not want to hear these statements as I would never step foot in any of them for any reason.
Be tough on the money talks. Be fair. If your staying in the house with the kids. She needs to pay up.
Good luck.
Sent you an email.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
I agree, what was the point of the card? My anniversary was yesterday and I never mentioned it to him and I honestly didn't care that he didn't mention it.
i said I wouldn't be here much....well I am down to posting once to twice a day and I have stopped reading the boards all day looking for the answer.
I think the particular card I chosse was safe. No harm done.
Money discussions are done. No real issues there either. We are both being very decent about this. She is not "paying" me, but will be buying groceries as usual and all things kids need as usual. I will be covering monthly operating expenses as always. No difference than "normal".
A couple of times in the last few days WAW has alluded to the fact that the move out is not a finality for her. Seemed genuine and not intentional. Just maybe, my nice guy thing may not have been a complete DB failure this time. We'll see.
Today after S16 and I worked out together, WAW made us a nice dinner and on her way out to meet some friends, she kissed son as usual, but then kissed me. It's been a while. No big deal, but nice.
Looking at the good things: no legal stuff started by WAW, kids are confortable and safe, I am in my house with my kids, WAW still plans on being around house some (good in some ways), WAW still being caring and considerate, no sign of ant kind of OM.
I even think there may be some good in the separation. Had she stayed, things would have been over quickly.
Only time will tell. Let's see what happens after the move out and the family XMAS vacation.
