Newbie (again)

[dday101798]

Well NCB, looking at it that way, you're right on both accounts.

I do feel bad not seeing the kids, sent a message, several actually later on that I loved them and missed them whe S12 tried texting later me later on at night. Needless to say, I was in VERY rare form at the time. I also feel somewhat bad for not taking up XW's "generosity" in the offer, but her complete tone came across like a problem child employee calling in to work due to losing their mother for the 3rd time. Blantantly a complete story.

I also questioned why me? They are old enough to have gone on their own, and there was more than enough people around to take them if really need be versus me driving around at last minute. I still say it was a ploy to bait me up and bring them back home with me.

Speaking of home, this is terific, just as I start to make progress on working through the last of the issues in this regard, my cousin got let go from her full time job today. Terrific. This does not look very good at all. The financial woes never end.

[NoCodeBlues]

Yikes, man, that's harsh! How is your cousin taking it?

[mishka422]

Oh no! She lost her job? I'm so sorry Dyland. That has to really mess with the home life.

[dday101798]

Oh no! She lost her job? I'm so sorry Dyland. That has to really mess with the home life.

That is serious understatement. Everything I can rebudget, which isn't much is all out of whack, and well, so much for the psych, not in the budget. Went to bed a little after 9 and woke up with my stomache on fire for the first time in a long time. I'm so sick and tired of this. Felt bad as there was nothing I can say or do to rememdy the situation. Any reasonable second job I can get creates a conflict with either my primary job, or would take away from what little time I already have with the kids. Of which, I can't even remember the last time I've really talked with them. I wanted to call, but don't want to deal with XW. Of which, she is back in my head when I sleep, at least 2, 3 times per night, but just in mundane ordinary conversations, can't quite decypher what that is supposed to mean.

This just blows, period.

[karen43]

I know how hard it is to get a job now. Sorry to hear that, D. I've had money #s too recently, but stuff always seems to work out, and I've learned to economize which is maybe a good thing. But if I ever am doing well again, I never want to eat hot dogs or ramen noodles again!!!

[dday101798]

Just a journalizing 'rant', 'vent' or statement of mind for myself:

I certainly didn'y want to get involved with the "debate" that jacked Kat's thread But, sort of related.

I finally heard from 'the kids' (well only one) last night for the first time in well over a week. #:15 yesterday I get a call from a phone # with a prefix of the old town, I immediately think it's got to be the police with another of XW's cooked up complaints, but in turn it ended up being S12 calling from a phone at the library. He couldn't offer up a reason as to why and how he was using a private phone in a public library or any reason to have not called in over a week (hell it took me a second to recognize his ever changing voice).

This wreaks so much disregard from XW for any of us. She is clearly withholding her phone from them for him to take such a drastic measure. She does not comply with any part of a LEGAL agreement and appears adiment to drive a 90 mile wedge between myself an dour kids fairly soon.

Ugh, I don't want to see her tonight when I pick them up. I don't even want to know she's alive, PERIOD. She most definately will not comply with my request 2 weeks ago to furnish MY adoption papers of S12 and thus he will lose out on his life insurance policy unitl I can free the time to spend half a day downtown proving my validity of being his parent to the county.

I just loathe her soooo much right now and wish I had nothing to do with her. And I certainly wish she'd stop creating an even bigger wedge myself and kids that she created. I imagine it's going to be a very emotional weekend when they begin to relay some of the stories she's conjoured up now. Probably B/S like "why would you want to call your father? He never calls you...." Yeah, well every time I call, I get her in one of her ill prepared moods that does nothing but want to start over dead sh!t, fight and then I don't talk with them anyway as she puts on her "look how your wonderful father treats me, this is why I'm with OP" bullsnot.

On all other fronts, the clock is ticking down, my cousin and I trying to find ANY sort of extra income to keep the house a float. We briefly touched on Thanksgiving last night that she'd normally have at her house, pretty much cancelled and X-mas, that ought to be interesting.

Then, on even worse timing, driving into work the other day, I spotted that an apartment building I've had my eye on for some time in the next town over from my old, has apartments available, within my affordability, shares the school district where the kids are now and is right across the street from the commuter train taht would save me a ton of cash versus driving. PErfect friggen timing.

[WalkingMan]

Whew! I feel your pain man.

Something stinks here.

I think I was where you are now about three months ago with regard to my XW. I was so disgusted with her and the unhealthy life she was leading. She couldn't even see how immoral, irresponsibile and incosiderate her behavior is/ was before and after the divorce. At least we don't have kids, but she continues to ruin my credit by being perpetually a month behind on bills. I can't imagine how much worse it would be if she knew I was seeing someone new.

I'd say you should totally simplify and move into that apartment. I'm actually moving to a new city, going back to college and I found a roomate to reduce costs. It's going to be such a relief to not stress about money as much.

[dday101798]

Ok, busy day......

Get another call this morning from another number in the old town, lol, it's s12's teacher in front of his entire class after he demanded she call me right away to say that he made outstanding progress in his first quarter and made the A honor roll (as he almost always does). LOL, he's so great. That lifted me up from the pit I've been in the last week.

In stranger news, that goes to show that XW is actually helping him with his work to some extent. Even stranger, when S12's teacher was done, she put him on the phone, which was kind of the downer of the moment after he said he wanted to share the news right away since he doesn't see me often and that XW was with S11, chaparoning a field trip! What? She NEVER wanted to do anything of the sort before? Who the hell is this person?

EDIT - I should mention S11 asked me to chaparone I was more than delighted to ablidge, and XW said she was going to do it which I figured she wouldn't.

[dday101798]

I'd say you should totally simplify and move into that apartment.

I wish it were that easy, but my cousin and I have become co-dependent of each other for the time being, I owe her, I'm already down 48% of my income no thanks to XW, but now the attorney's are going to garnish my wages, my student loan is about to restart in February and I'm out of forbeance requests, and all thatis just the tip of the iceberg. To say anything of furniture.

[WalkingMan]

Yea, I hear ya. I'm currently living with my brother, which really helps, but after almost a year I've had about enough. So, I'm moving to another city and getting a fresh start. Luckily, I made out pretty well in the divorce as the XW recieved the lion's share of the debt. I still have quite a bit of debt, though and it's making life quite a struggle.

We sold our home in the divorce, but we had very little equity.
So basically nothing got paid off. I'll be lucky when I come out in a better finanacial position to have credit good enough to buy another home as the wife is destroying it.

I have very little furniture now myself. I'm getting rather creative.