Journaling: Monday morning: Another busy weekend, but we have everything out of her apartment and back in our home. Now I am looking for a way to get out of the lease. I have asked the landlord for a copy of the contract, he has yet to produce it. W is upset with herself over how much it will cost to get out of this. She says it is "eating at her inside".
She has her psych appointment. I asked if she would like to join her. She was pretty resistant. Asking "Why do I want to go?", "What are you going to say?" and "It seems wierd to take my husband." I told her that my IC thought it would be a good idea. She told me she would ask him if he thought it would be good for me to join her.
Anyway, the house looks very nice. My W does a great job of decorating. Things are going well.
She has her psych appointment. I asked if she would like to join her. She was pretty resistant. Asking "Why do I want to go?", "What are you going to say?" and "It seems wierd to take my husband." I told her that my IC thought it would be a good idea. She told me she would ask him if he thought it would be good for me to join her.
Anyway, the house looks very nice. My W does a great job of decorating. Things are going well.
Enhh, I don't like this idea. There is a role for an IC and a role for an MC. Last time I checked, the "I" in IC stood for "Individual Counselor."
She has her psych appointment. I asked if she would like to join her. She was pretty resistant. Asking "Why do I want to go?", "What are you going to say?" and "It seems wierd to take my husband." I told her that my IC thought it would be a good idea. She told me she would ask him if he thought it would be good for me to join her.
Anyway, the house looks very nice. My W does a great job of decorating. Things are going well.
Enhh, I don't like this idea. There is a role for an IC and a role for an MC. Last time I checked, the "I" in IC stood for "Individual Counselor."
Puppy
Hi Puppy. Not her appointment with her IC. This is her appointment with the psychiatrist.
She has her psych appointment. I asked if she would like to join her. She was pretty resistant. Asking "Why do I want to go?", "What are you going to say?" and "It seems wierd to take my husband." I told her that my IC thought it would be a good idea. She told me she would ask him if he thought it would be good for me to join her.
Anyway, the house looks very nice. My W does a great job of decorating. Things are going well.
Enhh, I don't like this idea. There is a role for an IC and a role for an MC. Last time I checked, the "I" in IC stood for "Individual Counselor."
Puppy
Hi Puppy. Not her appointment with her IC. This is her appointment with the psychiatrist.
OK, so YOUR individual counselor thinks it would be a good idea for you to go with her to HER psychiatrist.
My point remains. Why?? Seems paternalistic, controlling, almost condescending to me.
She has her psych appointment. I asked if she would like to join her. She was pretty resistant. Asking "Why do I want to go?", "What are you going to say?" and "It seems wierd to take my husband." I told her that my IC thought it would be a good idea. She told me she would ask him if he thought it would be good for me to join her.
Anyway, the house looks very nice. My W does a great job of decorating. Things are going well.
Enhh, I don't like this idea. There is a role for an IC and a role for an MC. Last time I checked, the "I" in IC stood for "Individual Counselor."
Puppy
Hi Puppy. Not her appointment with her IC. This is her appointment with the psychiatrist.
OK, so YOUR individual counselor thinks it would be a good idea for you to go with her to HER psychiatrist.
My point remains. Why?? Seems paternalistic, controlling, almost condescending to me.
Puppy
A couple of things I have been told. 1. Many psychiatrist like information from different perspectives. "Collaboritive information" is what my IC called it.
2. My W's diagnosis is bipolar. I am told there are things that spouses can do to help find "triggers" that initiate mood swings etc.
Truthfully, I do not know a lot other than a book I read on bipolar and my IC both say it is a good thing. In any case, I did not push it. She is going to the appointment today alone and will ask the psychiatrist if he thinks it would be a good idea for the next appointment.
Journaling: Thursday Afternoon: So W cancelled appointment with psych. She did it because she did not let her manager know about it ahead of time. And since things had blown up between them, she did not want to give her manager any more reason to lay into her. She says she is going to reschedule, but hasn't yet.
She called Tuesday morning crying because of how bad her manager was treating her. It is bad, one of her staff told her she should quit. She asked if we could cancel the MC session for that day, but I convinced her to go saying that it sounded like she really needed to talk to the counselor. She agreed to go.
The MC session essentially became an IC for her. We first described the stress associated with us attempting to come to an agreement with the landlord for an early termination of the lease. This will cost us a decent amount and my W is feeling guilty over it. Which leads to the problem with her manager; she would really like to quit but feels the need to keep working because of the money she has spent on apartment. The MC told W that she really doesn't need to deal with the disrespect she is receiving. W said that MC makes a lot of sense and that she needs to think about what she really wants to do.
Today we gave a written offer and check for early termination of lease to the landlord. It is equivalent to rent for Nov, Dec, and Jan; don't know what we will do if he does not accept it. Neither W nor I want to be straddled with this monthly reminder of what happened.
So even though our lives are currently stressful; our M seems to be holding up quite well.
The MC told W that she really doesn't need to deal with the disrespect she is receiving. W said that MC makes a lot of sense and that she needs to think about what she really wants to do.
Teach your wife how to set a boundary. There is also a good book on this for the workplace called "Crucial Conversations."
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Thanks Coach. By the way, I told her a little bit about Greek and your story. She requested I ask Greek how she got over the money spent by the two of you during the seperation. This is something that she says is "Eating at her inside". I told her that she will get over it with time, but does Greek have any wise words for her?
