I am Don Quixote

[sleeper]

Overall I guess they're going pretty well. X and I are co-parenting with more and more ease. I'm no longer concerned about whether or not she is eating cake and I just do what feels right to me. I find it interesting that when our ideas of what is "right" aren't in sync I no longer get reamed by X. She is also more and more willing to do things which help me out when I have the kids.

Emotionally I'm a little down now. I was very down for much of Oct and then up near the end. I think it may be a leveling off of my emotional state due to the meds leveling off in my system.

"What goes up, must come down..." David Clayton-Thomas, "Spinning Wheel" Blood Sweat and Tears, 1969

On the twisted side......

As we were leaving after I picked up the kids from X last night X called out, "Family hug,...Blended family hug!" And motioned for the five of us (X, DD, DS, OMH AND me) to circle up and hug. DS efectively refused to be part of the circle, as he insisted upon being in the middle of it instead.

I couldn't help but mutter aloud, "More like blendered family hug."

The kids immediately went to either side of X prior to DS moving to the middle of the circle, leaving OMH and I in the position of contact with each other. OMH wouldn't put his arm around me in the circle. It took everything I had to not say, "Aw, come on man! Gimme some love!" and throw my arm around his neck (my male interpretation of dancing while wearing a purple dress and red hat). The resulting "circle" was more like a "U" (my arm around X, hers around DD, DD's around OMH, DS in the middle).

I kid you not.

How are things going overall?

I am not insane

I am NOT insane

I AM not insane

I AM NOT insane

I AM NOT INSANE

Sorry for the redundancy but I find the above exercise cathartic from time to time.

[frank_D]

Why did you do this? It continues to validate her actions. She has no consequences. I'm sorry Sleeper, but this is not healthy for your kids.

[sleeper]

Why do you do this?

This time it was because I was really caught off guard. Didn't see it coming, never would have dreamed it would be suggested by her.

If she suggests it again I won't.

On the other hand I can't help but believe OMH was caught off guard just as much and more affected by it than I being the self-centered egotist that he is. How would any man feel about his new bride requesting a group hug with her X-husband?

[MaMaMo]

How would any man feel about his new bride requesting a group hug with her X-husband?

Does it matter how he feels when he is married to her?

You don't know what goes on behind close doors with them, she will spin like "it was for the kids"


Really your wife gets it "ALL" a new hubby that will more than likely stick it out with her, just to prove YOU wrong, an EX-Husband who is still waiting in the wrings just in case she changes her mind, what has your ex-wife learned with any of the damage she left behind with her affair?

A Big Fat Nothing, she is just sailing along smoothly like nothing she has done has had any affect on her kids family friends, she has no conflict or ill affects from her affair.

[frank_D]

Really your wife gets it "ALL" a new hubby that will more than likely stick it out with her, just to prove YOU wrong, an EX-Husband who is still waiting in the wrings just in case she changes her mind, what has your ex-wife learned with any of the damage she left behind with her affair?

Which means that neither Sleeper nor OMH will ever have a 'real' relationship with her. They both lose until one of them refuses to play her game.

And the kids get to see that there are no rules in relationships, just do what you want, when you want, whatever makes you happy.

Oh, and for the female children, well men are just possessions.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

: )

Sleeper...man.

Your wife lives in a fantasy world she created.

But that you put the sweat equity into making.

No 4x4's.

Honest.

I KNOW I couldn't do what you are doing.

I don't see how this is good for you as a man or person.

You were the LBS of an MLC who had an OM...and now you are border line OM to the XW, who in my opinion is STILL in MLC with an new H that just happened to be her OM.

It is like a soap opera.

You deserve better, but that will only happen if YOU make it happen.

[Bworl]

No piling on here, I promise.

I think you're doing the best you can to navigate a life change that sucks to the high heavens.

I know you still love her. It is there in almost every post that you write. No one can fault you for that. You have had a life together, made children together, been through very goods and extremely bads together. It only makes sense.

The day will come however when you will tire of holding on, when you will begin to really feel the impact of what she's done. You will consider what has happened along the way, what lines have been crossed, what bridges have been burned by her actions.

In the meantime, don't allow the difficulty of forging a new life for yourself to drag you down over and over again. Fill your life with the things YOU want, the things YOU need, and the things YOU dream of. I think as your life becomes more and more YOURS, she will matter less and less.

Then maybe you can get off the ride...


Blessings,

Bill

[forward]

Sleeper,
I think you're doing your best. Take care of Sleeper and post here as you need to.

[graceallday]

I think Sleeper like you said you got caught off guard.....and dont do that again.....

your wife makes me mad.....

[forward]

Sleeper's X makes me mad but she also sounds nuttier than most, just very, very messed up.