Don't take this the wrong way but that is the most ridiculous letter I've ever read. You're apologizing for the same stuff over and over and over and over again.
Leave her alone. She doesn't want to keep hearing it from you. She wants to be left alone. Period. It continues to make you sound pathetic. And let's face it Kevin, in what way have you changed from a year ago? You say the same things like "I have to change" blah blah blah. Well that was over a year ago and you sound like you're just starting DBing AGAIN.
The problem isn't the fact that she doesn't want the M. It's the fact that deep down inside you are still the same insecure person that came here from day one. You are nice to her one minute, then start blasting her for her OM the next, and then suddenly quoting scripture another.
Stop trying to control the sitch. You'll disagree with me, but read your letter. That's exactly what you're doing AGAIN and she can see that.
There's your 2x4.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I agree with everyone else. Please do not give her the letter.
It is so focused on the past.
Have you read Divorce Busting? The primary message of Solution-Oriented Brief Therapy is to seek solutions for the present and future and not bring up and dwell on the past.
I agree. Well put Stuck. Kev this is the same crap that you were saying a year ago. We have all spent countless hours giving you advice which you still agrue against to this day.
Just let go and move on. Continue to become the best Kevin you can be. Stop talking about it and SHOW IT with your ACTIONS NOT WORDS PERIOD.
You still NEED to DEAL with your ADDICTIVE PERSONALITY before any HEALING can begin.
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Just curious why would you give this to her? You seemed to be doing well and this seems like a big backslide...Reading it, if you want input, it comes across as manipulative. If you believe what you wrote I would not give it to her, I think it would push her even farther away. Either that or shorten it up, way up.
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
I guess I really am clueless. It wasn't meant to be manipulative. It seems like I can't say anything without it coming across as manipulative.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I guess I really am clueless. It wasn't meant to be manipulative. It seems like I can't say anything without it coming across as manipulative.
Kevin
You said it! Actually, I don't think it matters what you are saying it will be perceived as manipulative by your W. So the solution is not to say anything.
Even your actions will be seen by her as more of the same. The only counter to that is consistency. That takes time and you have plenty of that. Slow and steady my friend.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
