Hi, Gardener, and thanks for stopping in, everyone.
How am I today? Grrrr. Job stress. I've put in 4 weeks of overtime and got hit from two side today with, "Why isn't thins thing done??! I gave it to you 3 weeks ago!!"
I keep thinking that 'crunch time' is over - and then today I did another 8:45 - 6:30 no lunch, no breaks day.
I'm tired, frustrated, mildly blue and I need a shower.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
H is being good to me. He was on his computer and I wandered in and out a few times for this and that. He made supper (usu. my job) and I thanked him for it.
Then I realized that the wandering in and out was me being fatigued and on autopilot for when I want time with him. Ooops.
Dia: <walks up to H at computer> I want *you*.
H: <looks at me, looks at computer, then back to me> I will come and sit with you.
So we laid on the hammock and brain dumped while looking at the stars. 15 - 20 mins later, I felt much better. Not back to 100%, but better.
I'm going to check out for the night - read a book in bed, go to sleep early. I also need to change my cell phone ring. It's burned into my thoughts and I keep thinking/dreaming I hear it. And true to form, my phone rang while I was typing that! (It was my mother.)
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
Glad to hear things are going nicely for you Dia, you are being very open to letting H deal with things his own way, a good example for all of us who have spent too long saying "you dont wanna do it like that" Im a very guilty culprit on that front!
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Today was more sane. Hopefully the rest of the week will be as well. <Dia touches wood>
Got my first ever apology from H for the hurtful stuff he did when we were in our death spiral. It was tentative and uncertain, but he said the words. Not for the A, but for the stuff leading up to it. (e.g. "When you didn't spend any time with me but still wanted sex, even to the point of waking me up in the middle of the night for it, I felt like you didn't care about *me* and all you wanted was a f^&#$. I felt like all that other stuff you were doing was more important - and much more enjoyable - than me.")
We also had a *good* R talk this morning and last night about the following:
1) Our respective uncomfortable feelings with the other person's respective family over the holidays.
2) Preliminary plans for how to deal with the aforementioned people and ensuing travel arrangements
3) The need for and logisitics of how to balance self-time vs. together time w/o anyone feeling a) smothered, or b) neglected.
There were lots of potential resentments and insecurities flying about, but I think we did well. h even contacted me midday today to say he'd been thinking about stuff I said this morning - always a good sign from him (means he actually listened ).
Last edited by Dia; 10/27/0911:05 PM.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
Number three on your list is a big one (personal view) - balancing potential insecurities. You'll manage because you and H have your heads screwed on straight
).