We were supposed to go to a Halloween party tomorrow night...that is not happening now.
She emailed me and said she is pulling back because she does not want to give me any false hopes right now and doesn't have any feelings for me right now. She is only concerned with figuring herself out and being with the kids.
Am I at the end of anything happening? Is this where the plug is pulled on everything? I cannot continue on with this...
M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4
Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!
We were supposed to go to a Halloween party tomorrow night...that is not happening now.
She emailed me and said she is pulling back because she does not want to give me any false hopes right now and doesn't have any feelings for me right now. She is only concerned with figuring herself out and being with the kids.
Am I at the end of anything happening? Is this where the plug is pulled on everything? I cannot continue on with this...
I am sorry WTBB, I know this was hard to hear. I heard this type of stuff on and off for a good 8 months. You need to give this at least a couple of months to give the meds a chance to work. The fact that she wants to focus on the kids is good. Respect her wishes for space.
I went through this stuff for quite a while. She was all over the place. Hated me and was full of anger. Then sadness. Then, we were OK and she couldn't believe what she put me through. She loved me more than ever and we'll be together forever and ever. Then...she just wasn't sure.
We had weeks on and weeks off. Like I said all over the place. The highs were really deep, loving, soulmate kind of highs. The lows were like dealing with an angry stranger.
Now we're roommates. She pops out the "her" that I remember every once in a while though.
You've got a real advantage here. She has acknowledged that the issues are stemming from her. She is addressing it with meds too.
Taking mind-altering medication could really be a hard thing to deal with.
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
I know you guys have gone through similar times...I lean on you two a lot.
It is hard right now because we have only basic communication and just pass by each other when only a week ago it was the total opposite. This process takes such emotional energy from you it is unreal.
I do think she needs to sort it out in her head...for any long term benefit for us. And I do think therapy and the meds will help her long term. But I don't know where "us" fits into all of that equation. I do know I cannot be with the person she is right now.
M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4
Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!
I do know I cannot be with the person she is right now.
When you talk, is she not respectful? Is she still remorseful for the things she has done? Has she stopped the affairs? Is she concerned about the children?
Respectful..yes - very remorseful. So much so she cannot understand how I can every forgive her. Yes everything is stopped - as far as I know. Very concerned about the children. She has told me her only concerns right now are her head (she is on the meds and in therapy) and the kids. I understand this, I really do...but there is no R between us at all now where there was the past two weeks.
I feel like a stranger to her now.
M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4
Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!
Respectful..yes - very remorseful. So much so she cannot understand how I can every forgive her. Yes everything is stopped - as far as I know. Very concerned about the children.
Are you sure this is a person that you can not be with right now?
Originally Posted By: wanttobebetter
She has told me her only concerns right now are her head (she is on the meds and in therapy) and the kids.
Given what she has been through, it sounds like quite a bit to deal with. Should she prioritize your relationship above her own head and the children? Is asking her to do that the loving thing to do? I know it is hard, but I think she needs time to wind down a bit.
