Last week I managed to dodge the bullet twice when STBXH called. I was out both times. He did not leave a message so I did not take it upon myself to call him back. The third day my caller ID did not show who was calling. Thought it might be one of my girls so I answered it. It was "him". He had a question about our property taxes.
While he was on the phone he made the comment we could save ourselves a lot of money if we cold settle things without our lawyers. I told him we had to get a business valuation to decide things. He told me he assumed that my lawyer had told me he could get half of my teacher retirement. I told him I was aware of that. He told me with the economy I would be better off taking my full retirement and him getting the business. Whatever! That's why I have my lawyer who is hiring a forensic accountant for me.
Speaking of accountants....Mr.A finally finished his budget...wow, he is getting back to his old self. Amazing what stress does to you!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
He told me with the economy I would be better off taking my full retirement and him getting the business. Whatever! That's why I have my lawyer who is hiring a forensic accountant for me.
I'm guessing if he wants you to take full retirement and him get the business, it's probably NOT in your best interest to do that!!! He's not just some kind-hearted soul trying to help you out!
I remember a few months ago I would have been so happy to get a call from the STBXH....now I wish he would stop calling! UGGGHHHH!
My lawyer recently sent some interrogatories to be answered for the divorce concerning both personal and business financials and such. His lawyer returned the favor and basically sent me the same questions my lawyer had made up. Mine was just a little shorter because I don't really deal with the business aspect.
Yesterday around 5:30 pm I was talking to Mr. A on my cell and STBXH called on the house phone. I saw on caller ID it was him. I thought if it is important he can leave a message. He did not. I then went to dinner with Mr. A. Around 8:00 I get text message from my DD21 telling me that her dad had called her wanting to know where I was. She lied and said she did not know...I did not tell her to do that. He told her he needed to get something from me, I'm sure it had to do with paperwork. When I got home STBXH had called the house phone around 8:45, but still no message.
My opinion is that he can leave me a message and I will gather whatever he needs and send it to him by DD21. Or he can write down what he needs and send it by DD21. He is of the stone age, he does not email. I see no reason to talk to him on phone unless it has to do with our daughters.
Am I wrong? Should I answer his calls?
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
My opinion is that he can leave me a message and I will gather whatever he needs and send it to him by DD21. Or he can write down what he needs and send it by DD21. He is of the stone age, he does not email. I see no reason to talk to him on phone unless it has to do with our daughters.
Am I wrong? Should I answer his calls?
You are 100% right imo. I'm thinking his calls are maybe also to keep tabs on you and what you're doing, dating or whatever. And I don't think your DD should lie for you (sweet of her though) but maybe tell him it's not his business anymore or something like that?
Karen, I agree with you about my daughter should not have to lie. He should not call her. If he can't get me on the house phone...then simply leave a message.
I'm sure it's killing him because I did not give him my new cell number! He actually even called his cousin and told him that I got a new cell number. While they were on the phone the cousin asked his wife if she knew I had a new cell and did she have the number. She simply replied, "Sure do" and walked out of the room. LOL
STBXH even asked me right after I got the new number if our DD's knew the number. I wanted to say "Duh" but told him of course they did. I should have said, "No, no one knows it but my 'BF' ". I guess when he asked if the girls had the number it was his way of hinting for me to give it to him, but I did not!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Thanks so much for thinking of me. I haven't really talked to anyone else about it. Lucky you, huh? LOL I am trying to just focus on me and the rest will hopeful start to come together.
Hope you are doing well. How did your daughter's hair turn out?
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
So I got two interesting calls on my house phone last night. One was from OW's XH..yes, he still calls. I usually don't answer...it's just draining sometimes to talk to him and dredge up the past. He left a message on my machine saying he hadn't talkd to me in a while and hoped he didn't do anything to make me mad. Then asked me if I knew of anything going on socially.
Second call came from my STBXH...wow...what's up with all the exes? LOL He called asking me what I thought of youngest DD's request to move out of dorm second semsester. I told him I hadn't really made any comments to her one way or the other...thinking it probably would fall through with the other girls. I did tell him I wanted to look at grades before I thought anything of it. The girls are looking to rent house instead of apartment. Told him I thought apartment would be better because of yard work and and most houses did not have fridges and washers and dryers. He said yeah those are good points, I had not thought of them....I guess he realizes maybe I do know what I am talking about sometimes.
Then we went on to discuss other things about DD and college. We were discussing her joining a sorority. I said she was really interested in one, but I was hoping she would look at the one I was a member of. I said I was talking to Kris and...All of the sudden he said I got to go and finish my laundry. Wonder if he thought Kris was my "bf"...he didn't let me finish...she is a sorority sister I connected with through facebook recently...lol.
Two phone calls from two different men....just the wrong ones...lol.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
