So let me get this right. I don't need eharmony or match. I just hang out near the pool with a big stack of fluffy towels?
"Can I refresh your drink? Was that a pina colada you were enjoying?"
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
So let me get this right. I don't need eharmony or match. I just hang out near the pool with a big stack of fluffy towels?
"Can I refresh your drink? Was that a pina colada you were enjoying?"
And don't forget - no matter how old we look, call us MISS or CARD US for that drink. Alternatively, if you can pull off "Madame" with a proper exotic accent (i.e. so it doesn't sound like you think we run a brothel), that works, too.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
Thus endeth week 3 of the impossible work schedule, though this week it was probably only 43-45 hrs instead of 60. Silly me, I thought that once I packed the CEO and VP off to the trade show, my life would get easier. NOT!! They left me with all the fires they didn't have time to put out before they left, and with the task of arranging a catered dinner for 20, by phone, on the opposite coast, by last night.
Next week, however, next week looks promising in the sanity department. My accountant is on stress leave for a week. She's disconnecting her computer and her phone, and believe me, this will save her life (cuz I was gonna keel her!). See, while I was putting out said fires mentioned above, not to mention consulting on wine list, pasta selections, projection screens and whether or not the Vietnamese Spring Rolls were vegetarian, she emailed me with this little "I NEED THIS ASAP!!!" message. You know, the kind with the red exclamation point to mark it 'urgent' and in case you missed that, three regular text exclamation points in the subject heading. The time stamp was 1:18.
Our email program refreshes every five minutes. That's the fastest you can make it go without manually clicking the Check Email button. Five mins seems pretty reasonable to me. Anyhoo, so there I was, debating the merits of Spring Rolls vs. Stuffed Mushrooms with a caterer who does NOT return calls, so when you get him, you talk to him right then. She buzzed in during the call and I let it go to voice-mail.
When I got off the phone at about 1:25, there were TWO of those ASAP emails from her. One time stamped 1:18 and the other time-stamped 1:23. It took me 5 minutes to locate the piece of info she needed, so estimated time from when she sent the ASAP email to when she got her answer was maybe 15 minutes.
And the witch was pissed at me for taking too long!! "I shouldn't have to send you TWO emails AND call you to get something done!"
Her stress leave is a good thing. Not only will it get us out of each other's hair, but it will give me a chance to have a talk with the CEO about using her doctor's recommendations re; stress reduction to change a few difficult work behaviors. She complains a LOT about how she works 60, 70, 80 hour weeks, but she's a control freak who actually takes work away from other people and insists on doing it herself. Example: She sent me an 8 page itinerary document for this trade show. My job was to update all of the info to make it current for this year. Complicated document, actually, containing travel arrangements for two people, every contact and vendor for the trade show, a detailed shipping log of all of our products, copies of all the order forms for the booth set-up, etc.
So, being the 'new girl', I gave it my best shot and sent it to her to check. She sent it back after 4 hours, griping that she'd had to CALL the travel company to get the time zone for all of the flight connections, WAIT on hold, FIX the document, then explain to me ad nauseum why it was SO vital to have that info. (5:38 pm wasn't enough. It had to say 5:38 MST.)
Then there was the FONT issue. Did I KNOW how long it took her to make sure all of the fonts were the same? She had to highlight every piece....
Ok, so - the work this woman does is abso-flipping-lutely amazing. Star quality stuff. She is an invaluable asset to the company.
BUT...
1) How hard is it to Google "Denver Time Zone"? Takes 1.5 seconds and no waiting on hold!
2) Even better, send the document back to ME, saying, "Please put in the time zones for the flight information and make sure the font is consistent." No problem! That's my job. Would have taken her maybe 15 mins total, including the time to review the doc. Would have made me responsible for my own mistakes, and would have been the best way of teaching me to do it right in the future, as well.
15 mins vs. 4 hours. So immediately I wonder how many of those 80 hours she worked were unnecessary and how much of her 'stress' is self-inflicted.
It's a very sticky wicket. I am actually in training to run the whole darn company and I'm not sure if the accountant knows that. She treats me like a witling two-bit temp, and I'm not sure if that's because she thinks that's what I am, or if it's because she's thinks belittling me will ease her insecurities about me eventually being placed over her.
When I interact with her, I am consummately professional. I maintain boundaries, though. Example: "I'm sorry, Accountant. I was on the phone with the caterer and couldn't take your call. The info you need is XYZ."
Getting back to the stress leave thing, CEO and I have already had a convo about her professional development, in a word, helping her learn to let things go and not obsess over minutia. The docs orders re: stress may give us just the tool we need to make the message stick.
Doing stellar work - Great!
Making life heck for yourself and your co-workers in the process - Gotta change.
Part of me has to wonder if she thought SHE was going to be taking over the company, and that's fuelling the "Office Girl" treatment.
Back to the beginning...
Next week, the CEO and VP are taking 3-4 days comp time AND the accountant is on stress leave. So nobody to make fires for me to put out! I can attack my undone To-Dos in an orderly, maybe even leisurely fashion.
The downside - I've been left 'in charge'. This idea that things will be slow and easy is a pipe-dream, isn't it?
Hrm... and this just hit me. Accountant's stress leave coincided with Dia being put - ever so temporarily - in charge.
Methinks I see a power struggle in full bloom.
Upside: Not my problem. CEO's problem. My job is to be professional and do what I was hired to do. CEO's job is to handle temper tantrums about succession.
I've been handling the accountant with a combo of boundaries, praise and appreciation. I know it's not marriage stuff, but I'd happily listen to suggestions on anything I should do differently with her.
Ok, next post will be about M stuff. And food!
Last edited by Dia; 10/17/0903:35 AM.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
My culinary achievement for the week was perfecting heary cream of chicken stew. When I made that chicken corn chowder a week or so ago, my one gripe was that it wasn't thick. It was thin like skim milk. When our winder storm hit, I wanted something hot and creamy, thick and hearty (hush you!).
So basing off the chowder recipe, I went more in the direction of a chicken stew. Sweated a mirepoix with garlic and 8 oz of bacon, added water to cover and poached the chicken in situ. Removed the chicken to dice, added white beans and potatoes, added spices. 2 hrs in, it smelled and tasted wonderful. Here's the step I've never tried before. It's easy but somehow I'd always found it intimidating. I whisked 4T cornstarch into a cup of half and half than stirred that in. OMG!!! Instant thick, rich stew. The texture was like a good, New England clam chowder.
I thought I'd made enough for two nights, but it was gone in 1 with about half a bowl left for my lunch the next day.
Dinner on Mom and Kidlet Movie Night (H's off-site game night) was pizza, and tonight was ribs.
Given the cool weather, I've been hankering for apple pie. My 'easy' baking staples are fruit cobbler and brownies but there's something so deliciously 'fall' about hot, deep dish apple pie. The recipe I want to try is in my storage unit, but I have to go there anyway because I need my cold weather clothes, too.
On to marriage stuff...
H has pulled back a bit, not alarmingly so. Between his mother and the breakup with OW, he's got a lot to deal with emotionally. Things in the bedroom are good. In addition to that, he seeks me out for cuddling and physical comfort, which I am happy to provide. We watch movies together about twice a week. He still seeks me out after work or after kidlet goes to bed for 15-20 mins of talking, so that's keeping my love tank full even though he's pulled back some in the QT department.
This morning, I dragged myself out of bed early to grab a shower. Most of this week, we've cuddled too long in the mornings, then had to rush to get out the door. He showered after me and caught me eyeing him as he passed by all squeaky clean.
Dia: Are you clean?
H: I'm cleeen! (a riff on "Are You Being Served")
Dia (following after H down the hall): I want to experience this 'clean' you speak of.
H: Uh oh! <walks faster>
Dia: <chases>
I chased him into the closet and we made out like teenagers for about 60 seconds.
He still does not offer verbal ILY's, though I get it in squeezes. He is opening up more and more about stuff in general, though he's keeping his reactions about OW and his mom somewhat bottled. Not entirely, mind you - but somewhat.
He had coffee with a female friend Wednesday, someone I know and am comfortable with, but even so he reassured me that there wouldn't be any kissy-face, just catch-up over coffee. I thanked him for letting me know and told him he was welcome to invite her for dinner that night after coffee.
Both of us are still doing really well with thanking and appreciating each other for the stuff we each do. I am making a conscious effort, and I think he is as well. I am also still complimenting and praising him here and there, letting him know he is valued and desired. I still get the feeling that we're tiptoeing around land mines sometimes, but I guess that natural.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
dia I could sure use your insight. My wife is pulling further away from me. My situation is getting more and more hopeless. I am not sure what to do at this point.
I fear that after our BK date she is going to serve me with papers.
I'm doing most of it. That's ok. H ADMITS IT!!! That's astounding. We've fallen behind with the dishes over the last week or two (no dishwasher), esp. with my crazy work schedule. Tonight on the deck H said,
H: You've been doing all of the housework lately. Thank you. I haven't done a thing this week and that needs to change.
Folks, this is huge. I'm not doing any more housework than I was before I left. In fact, I'm doing less. But before I left, H was telling me HE was doing it all, and I wasn't doing enough.
/cue David Bowie
Ch-ch-ch-changes!
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
