K4D Rising #4

[PMA_Baby!]

Nicely put CG. Kev. I feel your pain. We all do. It sux but you both did this. You chose to ignore her cries for help until it was too late. We ALL did. That's why were here. Now the real question is are you going to let it defeat you or can you pick yourself up and move on.

Forget about the OM. It's between you and your w. It it's not him it would be some other guy that is trying to rescue the princess from the mean oger. Incase, you missed that. You are the oger and yes they all want to be rescued. Most want to rescue the other person right back. You need to really dig deep and make this about her and the girls. If you trully love her you would want her to be happy. What makes her happy is her choice not yours. You have to let go of the CONTROL and let her figure out for herself what makes her happy and in turn makes your daughters happy.

Stop preaching to her. You are not a prophet or a priest. That is judging whether you see it or not.

Let GO and Let GOD. Once and for all. You stuborn sonoffa...

[K4D]

I need to take a break from this. I am really not in a good mood.

Kevin

[K4D]

I am not trying to upset anyone, I am just really not in a good mood today.

Kevin

[The Wifey]

Kevin,

Sorry my cold made it too hard to talk on the phone. Listen, your W has no right to just go off on you. First things first, you need to learn to cut her off, but politely.

"If all you want to do is yell then you can call back when you get yourself together and we can have a respectful conversation." One warning. Then say goodbye.

Find another way to deal with your frustrations, otherwise they are boiling just below the surface ready to come out at any moment. We talked about the OM thing. I know its a biggie, especially since your D was aware of it. But bringing it up in the heat of the moment didn't do either of you any good.

Find a punching bag, go for a walk, lift weights - something else other than spewing it to her when she's yelling at you.

Again, she has no right to go off on you all the time. She will respect you when you demand respect. Getting off the phone before you spew back also shows her respect.

Bottom line - its best for your girls, too.

[ppenton]

Hey Kev, maybe this will help, if you meditate with this devotional

[K4D]

Thanks for the link ppenton. That one is perfectly fitting today.

Kevin

[kara]

Kevin

Wifey is giving you good practical advice. You should also remember that at the end of the day if you want to reconcile with your S, you must be attractive to her. Not only physically but by behaviour as well. What you say and do.

You have a lot of anger in you that you need to rid yourself of in a healthy way. You will not be ready for a healthy relationship with your W until you resolve the anger you feel towards her. The anger is natural but letting it get out of control is dangerous. Find a way to deal with it as Wifey suggests. Get it out and find the cool in you.

Really let go while you pray. Your W is not a possession but a grown woman who will make her own choices whether you agree with them or not.

How does focusing on OM help you move on with your life? LBS give OP too much mental energy. Don't.

[K4D]

Yall are right about the anger. And I was feeling pretty angry today. Tonight went much differently than I thought it would.

I got to D11's performance and sat in the back. W and her mom and sister sat up front. After it was over D11 came down to see them and then spotted me and came up to see me. W's mom ducked out the back door as the rest of them started heading over to me.

Then W said I am welcomed to join them for dinner. Totally shocked me. I said ok. So me, W, and D11 and D7 went to dinner.

We talked about the upcoming holidays. I won't be with them for halloween. But for Thanksgiving they will eat lunch with W's mom and then W and the girls will eat dinner with me. W is going to make the turkey and I will make the rest of the stuff. D11 had told W tonight that we should spend thanksgiving as a family. W said they were going to her moms and I suggested they come to my place for dinner and W agreed.

I apparently get the girls for Christmas. I invited W to come over Christmas morning so we could all open gifts together and eat breakfast together. She said she might just do that. We also discussed D11's birthday and what we are going to do for that.

My BIL is flying in November 14th for a few days so W said that she wants to get together with us for dinner so she can see him. That shocked me to as she knows where he stands with regard to our M. I called BIL to let him know and he said sounds great that he was also hoping to get to see her and spend a bit of time with her to. My guess is that he is probably going to try and talk to her about the situation some. But I have no idea.

So anyways, W asks me if I have gotten health insurance through my staffing agency yet. I said no why? She said she is doing open enrollment and is going to take me off of hers but is going to keep the girls on hers. Ok.

I told D7 that I was going to start showing up to her dance classes on Saturdays when I don't have her also so I could watch her each week. W looked at me funny but said nothing.

So I have some upcoming moments in the next couple of months to try and shine in front of W again.

I was talking to a friend of mine after dinner tonight and of course it came up that I do want my W back. And she looked at me and said I don't want to hear you want your W back. She said I want to hear you say you will win your W back and I want to hear you say it with confidence.

Anyways, that was my evening. Definitely did not turn out how I was expecting it to.

Me and my girls are also looking at getting a maltese dog as well. They are supposed to be excellent companion and apartment dogs.

My W did ask me when my lease was up tonight. It is up at the end of December. I have to put in 60 days notice when I decide to leave. So I am going to be doing some apartment and duplex hunting this Saturday afternoon.

Kevin

[K4D]

I am in a much better mood today. Got some good sleep last night.

Kevin

[Esox]

Kevin,

I'm glad that you are feeling better.

I do hope that you and your wife can calm down a bit. This is a terrible situation and I know that your emotions are on edge. And please don't call the mother of your children a whore, even if she is acting like one. No good can come from that. None at all.

Keep praying that she will eventually come home, but you really need to start living as if she isn't. I too hope she keeps her men away from your kids. It just isn't right to have them around your kids. Not while you are still married.

Did you check with the formal separation agreement that someone mentioned works in Texas. If it does, you could stipulate that the kids aren't to be exposed to OP, and especially no overnight visitors while the kids are there. That stipulation seems to pretty common here in the midwest.