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antlers #1856463 10/15/09 06:36 PM
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I did a quick search Kev. Dont place all your money on that bet.

What are the grounds for a divorce?
Texas law allows for "no-fault" divorces. However, if one party is at "fault" for the breakup of the marriage, the court may take that into consideration in determining what is an "equitable" division of the property. For that reason, the other spouse may want to plead fault grounds in their petition. The statutory grounds for divorce are: Adultery, Cruel treatment (that renders further living together insupportable), Abandonment (for at least one year with the intent to abandon), Long-term incarceration (more than one year), Confinement to a mental hospital for at least 3 years, Living apart for at least 3 years, or Insupportability (which is the no-fault ground), defined as discord or conflict of personalities that destroys the legitimate ends of the marriage and prevents any reasonable expectation of reconciliation.

Bottomline. Either way the girls loose. What's best for them is for both parents to be civil and happy. You need to find what makes you happy with out her so you can be the best co-parent you can.

Thanks Antlers. When I saw the post about the horse it just came to me.

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I wish my X understood this. We've had joint physical custody for a year and now she has made a petition for full. Unfortunately, her past and what it made her into will most likely give me primary parent. But, once again. My daughter is the one that is bearing the brunt of all her crap.

Protect the girls Kev. They are the true victims here.

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Quote:
Protect the girls Kev. They are the true victims here.


That is what I am looking to do. They don't need this jerk coming into their life pretending like he is some sort of father figure.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
K4D #1856469 10/15/09 06:51 PM
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Originally Posted By: K4D
Quote:
Protect the girls Kev. They are the true victims here.


That is what I am looking to do. They don't need this jerk coming into their life pretending like he is some sort of father figure.

Kevin

their relationship has gotten that serious?

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I don't know. But she is spending a lot of time talking to him and they are taking trips together and spending a good amount of time together.

I let her know last night that if she tries to introduce this guy to them that I will go after full custody.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
K4D #1856479 10/15/09 07:10 PM
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Why arent you doing the same? It doesnt necessarily mean dating either.

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Why arent you doing the same? It doesnt necessarily mean dating either.


Spend time with another woman and take trips with her?

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
K4D #1856489 10/15/09 07:18 PM
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Moving on!!! Making new friends!!! Traveling!!! I think it's time you applied for a legal seperation if you don't want the D. Chances are she will say why dont we just get D'd.

Then you will see were she is at.

Acceptance is not easy, but necessary.

K4D #1856496 10/15/09 07:21 PM
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Do you think that was a wise threat? Because *all* your W needs to do is let her attny know that you are threatening her and I promise you things will explode in your face faster than a speeding bullet.

I dont care what state you are in or what the laws are... when a woman is threatened by an estranged spouse and that threat involves children NO judge will take kindly to that.

Basically you used your kids and her not having 50% access to them as a tool you would hope make her say "gee, I better ditch OM for the sake of my kids". Do you think that worked? Nope. In fact, if you think she isnt keep a log of some sort of each blowup you have where you threaten her about the children or call her names you are crazy.

You and your W are separated and if she is dating or taking trips w/somebody that is not your business. You have no indication or proof that this person is even interested in becoming any sort of father figure to your children.

But, since it seems that ya'll are heading for a D there is a chance one day your children will have a stepfather. And three grown adults working together to parent children is much better than three adults at odds w/one another causing continued strife for your children who are already very fragile.

Your attny is going to tell you what you want to hear. If you dont believe that call my H. His attny made it sound like this would all be 50/50 split and his adultry would not be an issue or the fact the state I live in classes me as "unhealthy" due to a chronic and incurable disease I happen to have. Guess who walked away with 80% of ALL our assets, 3 years of spousal support/health/dental/vision payments (I could have gotten 7), ALL the furniture, our apartment, the money to purchase a new car in cash and guess who has to pay my legal bills? So much for what my H's attny said, huh? That it would be no problem. LOL! The lovely part of it all is I didnt have to say a word. He dug his own hole. And you are digging yours. Do not use your children as a threat. And if your attny suggests that is okay then find a new attny because he is clearly a snake.

Dont make veiled threats. They will come back to bite you big time. Again, if you want some sort of structure then file for D. The courts, I assure you, will ORDER that structure and there wont be a darn thing you can do about it.

Your W is searching for *something* seeing how this is her 2nd OM (that we know of) in less than a year. How long are you going to be her fallback option for?

CityGirl #1856507 10/15/09 07:30 PM
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Quote:
But, since it seems that ya'll are heading for a D there is a chance one day your children will have a stepfather. And three grown adults working together to parent children is much better than three adults at odds w/one another causing continued strife for your children who are already very fragile.


I have to respectfully disagree here. It is not better for them to have someone acting as a father or step father that is not their father. It further damages them. I will not be working with this loser. My kids will know that he is trying to help keep their parents apart. I will not be expecting them to show him any respect at all.

Quote:
Your W is searching for *something* seeing how this is her 2nd OM (that we know of) in less than a year. How long are you going to be her fallback option for?


I don't consider myself a fall back option. I consider myself her covenant H til death do we part. Therefore, the door will stay open to reconciliation for as long as I live.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
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