wow. has she ever signed the HIPAA form so you can talk to her dr? now might not be the time to push it. . . try to encourage her to merely go on a lower dose, maybe. is she just on a mood stabilizer, or something else?
me 30 WAW 30 M 8 yrs T 9.5 yrs
3 cats 9,6,6
W left 5/31/09 W stopped most contact 06/26/09 W filed 7/22/09 (haven't been served)
I don't think W is manic right now. I don't believe she is depressed. She really does seem to be in a good place. The girls were enough to drive Mother Theresa crazy this morning, but W handled it well. She has put on 20 lbs since going on the meds. She still looks great and I tell her so, but she says she feels disgusted with herself.
As for being prepared. I thought about it and realized that I am confused as to what I should be doing now. I do not know what to be prepared for. Last night, she came back with a weeks worth of clothes and the "talk" never came up. I am confused with the way I feel. I don't feel secure in this marriage even though my W is saying and doing all the right things. I can't relax. I'm on edge. I keep waiting for the next shoe to drop.
I see the IC today, hopefully he can help me figure out where I need to go from here. We have our first MC session since the seperation tomorrow, I am hoping that will shine some light for me as well.
wow. has she ever signed the HIPAA form so you can talk to her dr? now might not be the time to push it. . . try to encourage her to merely go on a lower dose, maybe. is she just on a mood stabilizer, or something else?
She was on Celexa (Anti-Depressant) and Abilify (Mood Stabilizer). I suggested that she do it that way, but she doesn't seem too interested. The only reason she was diagnosed bi-polar was because she started rapid-cycling after being put on the AD. I am concerned about her going off her meds, but beyond informing the psych (which I may do), I am not sure there is anything productive I can do about it.
I know EXACTLY how you feel. It's scary isn't it? Things are going the way you would hope they are (for the most part) but you have this instinct telling you to stay alert and that things could change in an instant. I think positive results over a long period of time is the only cure for this.
M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4
Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!
wow. has she ever signed the HIPAA form so you can talk to her dr? now might not be the time to push it. . . try to encourage her to merely go on a lower dose, maybe. is she just on a mood stabilizer, or something else?
She was on Celexa (Anti-Depressant) and Abilify (Mood Stabilizer). I suggested that she do it that way, but she doesn't seem too interested. The only reason she was diagnosed bi-polar was because she started rapid-cycling after being put on the AD. I am concerned about her going off her meds, but beyond informing the psych (which I may do), I am not sure there is anything productive I can do about it.
My wife was on celexa (for depression) & well-butrin (I think that sounds right, for bp), she went off them a couple years ago to get "skinny" and thats when all the problems started - getting skinny, working out, tanning, buying new clothes, new hairstyle, new friends, staying out late, clubbing, etc.
Going off the meds without supervision is not smart, watch out for the withdrawal symptoms, it's not if they will happen, it's when they will happen and then she will start having ideas to make really radical changes, let's drop this and do this right now, no need to wait let's do it and then it will be, why did we do this, I can't believe we did this.
My wife was on celexa (for depression) & well-butrin (I think that sounds right, for bp), she went off them a couple years ago to get "skinny" and thats when all the problems started - getting skinny, working out, tanning, buying new clothes, new hairstyle, new friends, staying out late, clubbing, etc.
Going off the meds without supervision is not smart, watch out for the withdrawal symptoms, it's not if they will happen, it's when they will happen and then she will start having ideas to make really radical changes, let's drop this and do this right now, no need to wait let's do it and then it will be, why did we do this, I can't believe we did this.
Tristan be careful.
She is seeing the psych. So she won't do it without his supervision, which is good. Her point is that she went 33 years without needing meds and the original prescription of ADs is what caused the "manic" behavior in the first place. If she can handle the depressed side of her bp without meds; then she might not need to worry about the manic side as it was never a problem before she was on meds.
I know it is not a smart thing, but she does make a convincing argument on why it is worth a try. I just want her to be seeing a psych while doing it. And yes, I will be watching her mood and behavior more closely and from a different perspective from now on. She has also asked me to do the same in not so many words.
Journaling: We had our first MC session today. It was a lot of the counselor gathering history. My W did say she was 90% sure she wants us to work. She said she realized that she has done a lot of damage to our relationship and wants to regain my trust.
When asked what caused my reprioritizing of my life. I said I had taken my family for granted. When I was faced with the real chance that I could lose it, I realized what was really important.
We both left in a good mood, so I would call it a successful session. We have a long ways to go. My "homework" is to determine what W could do to show me that she is committed to our relationship. For those of you that have gone through this, what did your S do that really helped in rebuilding trust in the relationship?
Yes. I think W and I both need to continue to GAL. I now realize that we were very enmeshed before all of this happened. We need to be able to be individuals and accept each other as such. GALing is part of this.
