A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[bluerain]

LOL! Dia your an animal!

Sounds like things are moving right along. It seems to me that maybe your MIL wont ever be your best friend, she will have to eventually see that you and H are happy, and what more could a mother ask for than her son to be a happy and fulfilled H and father? I would say just keep on keeping on and hope for the best, besides, if she cant get over it, thats her problem, you arent M to her!

I would expect a long haul regaining her trust, and your probably already ahead by just acknowledging that her feelings are valid and she has the right to have them. Your right, DB her! It works in all kinds of relationships!

[The Wifey]

Hey, Wifey? How do the two of you handle holidays? Is your H welcome at extended-family get-togethers on your mother's side?

My H is absolutely welcome by everyone, but my parents. So, no, he isn't able to come with me to visit, not that he wants to.

The thing is that we still do holidays as a "family" at my in-laws house. Coupled with the fact that my parents are snowbirds and already in Florida for the winter, its just us up North.

When it comes to the MIL, I have to tell you it is something your H will have to address. I already had a convo with my Mom where she told me I should just get a D and move on with my life. She said she will never ever forgive or accept my H or have him around.

I calmly told her that she was entitled to her feelings and that we all have choices to make. But, God willing, my marriage will be restored and he will be coming home. I told her that I love my family, I love my H, and I am just glad to know how she feels.

I relayed this to my in-laws, that have been amazing to me actually, and they were sad. At the same time they were amazed that I was so calm and strong while I told them. They think their son has lost his mind and hope he will figure out what he wants sooner rather than later.

I think if you focus on the two of you, and acknowledge that she is definitely not approving of the reconciliation, that it will be addressed. Ignoring it or not talking about it would make it an "issue" but just agreeing that it is what it is and growing beyond it makes it the two of you dealing with the MIL. With my cold I have no idea if that makes sense.

[Dia]

Thanks, Wifey. That's helpful.

[Dia]

In honor of our first winter storm, I am posting my recipe for hot chocolate.

Heat whole milk in a sauce pan or the microwave, then add the following to each cup:

* a pinch of salt
* a few drops vanilla extract
* 2-4 teaspoons unsweetened chocolate powder (e.g. Ghirardelli or Hershey's in the brown can)
* a dash of cinnamon
* sweetener of your choice

If you're feeling exotic, try one of these additions:

* coconut milk
* a few drops orange or raspberry extract
* a pinch of chili powder

Or, my other favorite hot toddy - piping hot apple cider spiked with Hot Damn.

[girlfromoz]

Hi Dia

It all sounds really good and moving along very nicely indeed. Even though we are in spring here, it is freezing like the middle of winter again, so might give your hot chocolate a go tonight.

[orangedog]

Good recipes.

Hot Damn.

Be careful. That stuff will make you do things that don't make sense. New Year's Eve midnight a few years ago we decided to get a head start against another team in a mileage competition by riding bike trainers outside at 15F next to a bonfire on a frozen lake. Then somebody starts passing the bottle around and it really got weird. "Hot Damn!"

[girlfromoz]

What is Hot Damn? Don't know if we have that here.

The only thing I have had that was a bit deadly was a few weeks ago at a party and that was Grappa, had never had it before.

[Dia]

Hot Dam is spicy hot cinnamon Schnapps, a liquer. Do you have Schnapps there? Or the little red candies called Red Hots?

[girlfromoz]

Probably do, I haven't really had many liquers. Will have to find out.

[orangedog]

I'll trade you for some Bundaberg or Four-X (and I'll go off the wagon for a day).

(O'dog's been to Bundaberg)