A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Kettricken]

Personally, I think you sound like a treasure. Give him yourself, but don't hesitate with the gratitude. He chose you. It doesn't make you weak, or devalue you, to be vocal in your appreciation. Relative worth has nothing to do with it; we're all so unique. But choosing someone, eyes open, is about the greatest gift anyone can give. I know he won't be sorry.

[Dia]

I guess your 5PM ritual is different than mine. I go to the grocery at 5 PM and pick out something for dinner.

My 5 pm ritual:

1) Look around and do 5 mins of spot tidying. Did I leave a dish on an end table? A dirty knife on the cutting board? etc.

2) Refresh hair, makeup and perfume.

3) Change clothes into something 'nice' if I'm in jammie pants and a t-shirt.

4) Have dinner started and smelling good.

These are optional, depending on time:

5) Have music on.

6) Have an appetizer prepared. (H has blood sugar issues and forgets to eat.)

He was appreciative of the cleaned dresser top tonight, and for the supper I'd made. Nothing fancy tonight - just pasta with sauce from a jar. He stopped for a few groceries, so he got home later than usual. He said he's feeling down and depressed with everything that's been thrown at him emotionally. I listened, but he kept it short. He asked how I was holding up, and I said I was fine. I said I was there for whatever he needed, even if what he needed was space (in which case I wouldn't actually be there - which made him laugh, which was my goal).

Three weeks to get over the worst of breaking off an A... So by the middle of November, he should be past most of it? I'll continue to be witty, respectful and supportive and it won't even be hard.

[The Wifey]

For the moment, tho - Divorce Busted!

Dia I am sooooooooooooooooooo happy for you! Still rough patches to be dealt with and I understand the MIL thing. In my case, though, my MIL is one of my best friends. It will be my H that will face the "I will never forgive him or be around him" MIL.

I had chills when he said he chose you. Tonight my prayers will be full of thanks!

[givingitmyall]

Hey Dia,

Just checking in to say again how happy I am things are heading in the right direction for you. I have been watching as we walked around Disney the last few days. We are down here for the EPCOT Food and Wine Festival, so I couldn't help but think of you.

I will continue to pray for you and your family.

[Dia]

Hi, Wifey and GIMA,

Thank you for popping in.

Kidlet goes back to Cub Scouts tomorrow and all of us are excited about it. I did Girl Scouts through most of high school and H was an Eagle Scout. He and his age-mates built the Scout House the troop now meets in. (Ok, he and his age-mates also accidentally set it on fire, too, but that's another story.) The troop leader is one of the boys from H's original troop and the son of the Scout Master who ran the troop when H was there.

Kidlet belonged as a Tiger Cub, so going back to that troop is one of the benefits of being back here and back together. As H and I were discussing it Friday night, I asked H if he wanted me to come, too, or if he wanted it to be a father-son thing. Kidlet immediately chimed in to say it was a 'man' thing and no Moms allowed. H laughed, then gently corrected him to say that Moms and other women were welcome, and sometimes the leaders were women, too.

This will change the pace of our week somewhat as it disrupts the Tues - Thurs pattern for H to have his game night and his dinner-and-a-movie night.

So, add to the things Dia is grateful for:

1) Going back to Cub Scouts is one more mossy little brick in the whole return-to-normalcy path.

2) From my earlier post, H is processing his feelings about the breakup with OW very well. Not only that, but he's sharing them with me and not blaming me for them. Woo Hoo!

3) I was able to tell kidlet today that he and I would be staying in this house and we wouldn't have to move. Even better, Dad and I were going to be married again and see how it worked. It might have been better to do that together, but kidlet does not express his "I hope you and Mom get back together" or "Are we staying here or do we have to move?" fears to H; only to me. Kidlet is pleased.

[Dia]

Hey, Wifey? How do the two of you handle holidays? Is your H welcome at extended-family get-togethers on your mother's side?

I'm guessing that since I'm 'not part of the family' that I will not be welcome for Christmas or Thanksgiving at H's FOO compound. H is welcome at my family's place, but for reasons having nothing to do with our M, I've already decided that we'll get a hotel for any time we spend with my family over the hols.

I'm ok with being persona-non-grata, actually, and it's a bit odd to me that I am. I've learned some hard, strong lessons in detachment over the past two years. MIL is entitled to her feelings and opinions just as much as I'm entitled to think she's batchit crazy for having them. In fact, I can even understand why she feels that way. And being detached and not pursing her is DBing my MIL.

[Dia]

Wow. Am I an optimist or what? I dreamed about MIL last night and instead of the nasty dream one might expect, she smiled at me and spoke nicely to me.

From my brain to God's ears.

[Dia]

ROFLMAO!!!

H has finally figured out that the half hour - 45 mins between when kidlet goes to school and he leaves for work is the perfect time for a quickie.

[TooLateForMe]

I'm very happy that things are doing so well for you. I thought I was pretty detached, almost numb, but when I read "divorce busted," I caught a little hope.

Congrats!

[orangedog]

H has finally figured out that the half hour - 45 mins between when kidlet goes to school and he leaves for work is the perfect time for a quickie.

Now there's some incentive to have those lunches packed and coats ready the night before. "Hurry up kids! Your dad and I don't want you to be late for school."