A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[orangedog]

Or, in this instance:

Whoever looks, sounds, and acts more bat-sh*t-crazy, demanding, and needy is probably going to come out of this the loser.

Yup.

[Dia]

Just put brownies in the oven. Both of my men are happy, esp. the little one.

BTW, Lotus - Are you saying that the more she agitates to have me put in the street or H disinherited, the more people will resist her? I can see that...

[Lotus]

Yup. It's a real possibility. Likely everyone feels bullied by her. So each time she says the sky is blue, they say, "No, it's not."

[Dia]

Hmmm, they do feel bullied, but from what I've seen, they usually say, "Look, just tell her it's blue so she'll shut up."

I will watch from a distance. How can I fiddle while Rome burns? Easy. I don't live in Rome.

I think MIL's issues with me go back to before the wedding. During the discovery phase of the D, we pulled a copy of the trust they hold their property in. A few days before the wedding, H was taken off the trust. He is still a recipient - at least so far - but he is no longer a trustee, meaning that he has no signatory or decision-making power. I think she may have had suspicions at the time that I was out for his money. <shrug> Who knows.

[Kettricken]

Wow. Well, clearly your husband is aware of her *long-standing* prejudice, and will hopefully treat her views with the respect they have merited.

Brownies ..... drool .......

[girlfromoz]

Hi Dia

My little piece of input for what it is worth, my H's family hated me from day one, I was considered a snob, they were all feral except for H who always secretely thought he was adopted because he was so different. They ruined the night before our wedding, the wedding day and have never said one kind word to me apart from one SIL. My H, bless him, pretty much disowned them because of the constant attacking and how dysfunctional they were.

So what I am trying to say is the more she pushes, whinges, complains and all the rest, the more your H will fight against her. She can't win, not now, not ever.

Always though remain the perfectly gorgeous, well mannered lady that you are and they can never have valid ammunition to fire off about you.

My mother was and still is not happy with my H, she never liked him, even blamed him for my father's death, said my H worried my father into an early grave (this was the most horrible thing she could have said, my H loved my father), her attitude has driven a very large wedge between her and I over the years and she had a lot to do with our past situation. Families have a lot to answer for, thank heavens we can choose our friends.

All will be well and perfect in your world soon Dia, you are 3/4 of the way there, once you get over this hurdle you won't look back.

(((((Dia)))))

[Energizer Bunny]

I've been out of touch for a bit and just now doing some catch up.

Congrats to you. I am so happy for you!!!

[Dia]

OMG - I was clearing out the stuff in what used to be my underwear drawer and I set something on the corner of the dresser while I continued to make space in the drawer. It dawned on me very slowly. There used to be a pic of OW on that corner of the dresser! Dumbfounded, I looked around on the floor in case one of the cats had knocked it off. Nope.

Then I looked on the wall where a collage of her and her D3 used to hang. Nada.

I was so relieved. They're in his sock drawer, which is fine by me. I didn't expect him to just throw them in the trash or anything. I'm not sure when he took them down - must have been during the long session of calls with her, his parents and assorted friends.

Earlier on, he thanked me for not doing anything catty to those pictures, and he's right when he said that no matter how much it hurt me to see them, I wasn't the type to have broken them, thrown them across the room or anything like that. Now, I'll confess that in my worst moments I've flipped her off when I walk by, and I've had a few to-the-point conversations with her about getting the heck out of my life and backing off my man but that's as far as it ever went.

When I saw that the pics were gone, I was relieved. And only relieved. I prodded at the relief for a moment, surprised that there didn't seem to be any vindictiveness in it. Then I gave myself a pat on the back for that. It would have been nice if this could have been done without hurting her, but that wasn't my issue to worry about.

At any rate, I'm moving back into the dresser in the MBR and cleaning off the top. Right now, it's a melange of dust, old receipts, books and who knows what.

Question for all of you: I'd like to do something really nice for H, a gift of sorts to say thank you for choosing me, for re-joining the M. Any suggestions? I don't think Hallmark makes a "Thank you for dumping your Mistress" card.

[Lotus]

A new silk nightie?

[Gardener]

Dia,

Question for all of you: I'd like to do something really nice for H, a gift of sorts to say thank you for choosing me, for re-joining the M. Any suggestions? I don't think Hallmark makes a "Thank you for dumping your Mistress" card.

Nor does Hallmark make a "Congratulations, you made the right choice" card.

How about ane of those blank-inside cards and saying something like, oh, I don't know, like, "Thank you for choosing me and re-joining our marriage,"?
I don't know if I'd go for a gift, though.
My $.02.