BBJ, having someone in your presence that you care for (who does not care for you as much) on a regular basis is very difficult. In my opinion, for your sake, you will have to figure out a way to keep him out of the house. Boundaries need to be erected slowly. The kids and what they say hurt as well...i tried once to share what D8 told me and i was told that perhaps it was my general attitude that brought it on. I realized at that moment that regardless of what i would "report", the WAS would not accept responsibilty....that is still probably true today. So...although i sympathize with the fact that Dan has literally been the only man in your life and that he is the father of your children, if you ask me (and you did not), the house (regardless of who owns it on paper) needs to be your refuge. You should not have to hide in your own home and he has had plenty of time to make the neccesary arrangements to have his own home for himself and the kids.
I understand the strangeness of considering dating. I've got the same problem. I had been with Gabe since I was 18 and before that only went out with maybe 4 other guys and only one of those was for more than a few dates. It's a strange, strange world out there!
Keep evaluating your boundaries and make sure that you can stick to them when you set them.
How long is it going to take Dan to finish up this house to a point where it's livable? For heavens sakes, it seems like he's been working on it forever. Is he completely gutting it or something?
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
As a matter of fact, Mish, he is almost entirely renovating. He thought he was just tearing out all the fixtures (kitchen and bath), then new carpet and paint and all done! Initially he told me it would take him about two months. That was in February...
Wouldn't you know the windows were rotten so he took them out to replace them, and found out the siding was wet/rotten under the windows. So he tore all the siding off the front of the house, then off the side of the house, so I think now to make it all match (it was built in 1980 so old vertical wood siding) he will tear all the siding off...then the soffit was broken so he needed to replace it, etc etc etc
It is going to be a long winter at this rate.
Actually I am kind of excited at the prospect of dating. It has been a dozen years since college, but I was the fun-loving one, always going out with friends, flirting, etc. It will be strange but I am going into the idea with an open mind. Just the thought of eventually meeting someone I can hug/touch/kiss...yay!
Good for you BBJ! I just look at it as a terrifying experience that I really don't think I want to have but the hugs and kisses would be MORE than welcome. So contradictory huh? The warped way my brain works.....
Good grief! You don't think he's imagining all of these problems just to delay things do you? Didn't he have an inspection before he bought the place? I know it was sold as a fixer upper but wouldn't he still have had it inspected?
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
The dating thing is terrifying to me as well. It has been 18 years since I last dated and that was my wife! I have also tiptoed into the land of Match.com. Finally got the nerve up to email one person just to tell them I liked their sense of humor, thought we had a lot in common based on her responses, and if after reviewing my profile she was interested in communicating she should email me back...well she immediately block me from her profile. I swear I'm not a wierdo or anything!! and I don't have any shirtless, flexing photos on my profile page either!
Wow... you blocked 112 already !!???? What, was that 112 who wanted to chat with you on match.com?? I applaud you going down this route though, I know its not what you want but its definetly what you deserve Bobbi...
I swear I'm not a wierdo or anything!! and I don't have any shirtless, flexing photos on my profile page either! 
Gotta be picky!