At least you sound strong and focused. Dont pretend though. I hope you dont. We are here... love & hugs K
Just realized I never filed a response to H's motion to have our status changed to D'd on Monday.
With having the flu a week ago, him asking me to R every- other week, & the Custody hearing this week, it got lost in the shuffle. Ugh!
Just left him a message that if I don't get something in writing that he's going to drop the motion set for Monday, I'll have to retain my attorney to put in for a contin. If I have to do that, it really becomes difficult to turn around at a future point.
So, court is on for 1:30pm today & it's not even a blip on my radar. Guess I've gone more towards 'embracing' whatever comes my way.
H did bring over a signed statement that he does not want to proceed with the separating of our case & have our M declared null & void today.
He also issued an invitation for a BBQ Saturday night @ his place. This was the 1st full weekend with S6 since the new visitation orders. Just the thought of going had my stomach twisted.
Last night when he dropped off S6, it was back to asking me when I can give him the response to his offer & all the #'s so he can have it written up by his attorney.
I'm finished reacting to subtle hints & innuendo about what he wants. I don't know if he realizes the M ship is sinking fast.
He may just be making conversation, and it is hard to find something to talk about when you won't be direct to save your life, choosing the topics he does, & tone to go with them, amazes me.
Last night it was S6's school being too "touchy-feely." "They have way too much parental involvement. They should let the kids stand on their own two feet."
I love this school. It has the best atmosphere of any in my experience.
Still 'holding on to myself' & liking it. (This image pops in my brain when I say that everytime ;-)
So, I am confused. He brought you signed papers he DOESNT want the marriage declared null?
If so, why would he do that? WHy now damn it????? And,...are you done or are you semi done as I find myself, despising my weak nature? (not that you should despise yourself, you know what I mean, LOL) K
Lol, you think you're confused!! I really don't know why we're going to court today I'm embarrassed to say I'm serious about that. Maybe that's why I'm not nervous, I don't know what to be nervous about.
I think we have 2 hearing today, one is a status hearing (where you tell them how things are moving along?), and the other is for a 'motion to separate the case' into parts, allowing the D to be final before we have the financial/visitation completed.
The signed paper he handed me yesterday was just stating that he wanted to have that hearing continued, he did not want it held today as scheduled.
That's what I'm saying, he's so indirect with me & all over the place, that I'm kinda just hanging out off to the side, letting it all go where ever it goes.
Am I done? Dunno, everytime I've declared myself so, I find that I'm really not. I don't consider it a weak nature though. Infact, I consider it a sign of a strong one.
Actually, I was talking about nature's in general being strong when you don't choose the 'easy' way. It looks like I'm going to do a poor job of explaining what I mean, so I'll just bow out.
"And when are you coming at my side of the woods?"
I think the call is whoever can make the woods first. I'm totally envious that Ali & BF had the opportunity to spend time with our own Greek Princess.
H told me in court that he wants the changes I'd like to his financial offer by tomorrow. Because he filed an additional motion, they put us at the end of the court day, instead of #2 where we were originally. This was a motion I asked him not to file ahead of time & he did anyway, only to give me a paper saying he didn't want it anymore.
My body language gave me away after the 2nd hour...he whispered that I was acting like a B, he filed it b/c it's been 2 1/2yrs & I should calm down.
We ended up just leaving when the judge took a break (his idea, I guess he could tell I was working up a real dislike of him). We told the clerk we were leaving. Not sure how they look at that, at this point I don't care much. Like he said, "What are they going to do, arrest us?" I can't think straight anymore today, nothing is making sense to me. Maybe we're both crazy now.
Lots and lots of stuff going on and you've been so busy!
Whenever the world is spinning from all the legalese, talk to your lawyer. It's their job to know what is and isn't in your best interest. What is your lawyer's take on your spouse pushing through the dissolution before the custody and financials have been determined?
This is an incredibly confusing time. Your spouse no longer has your best interests at heart, only his. He's not one to sit with in court, take direction from, especially when it comes to leaving when the court is in recess. Leaving makes both of you lose credibility. You leave when your attorney says "Let's go."
Sit as far away from your spouse as you can in court. He's not doing you any favors. Route all his questions, suggestions directly to your attorney. He's doing so many wacky things it's making your head spin. Getting you off kilter works best for him.
The term 'Crazy like a fox' comes to mind about your spouse. If he's great in business, successful negotiating is second nature. He is not your friend. He is using his skills against you.
Your lawyer has your back. Let him/her deal with your spouse.
It's been a while since I posted I see. Strange around here, almost everyone I know has been out experiencing the ever-so-special H1N1 flu. Things are looking up though, last one in the family to fall, S17, is finally back in school today. About 1/2 of S6's class were out the last couple of weeks, so it hit pretty hard.
Getting back to my thread, I see I never responded to your post Gypsy.
I stopped responding to H, except for necessary information regarding our settlement agreement that my attorney drafted. He wanted to have a sit down to discuss what/why I'm asking for changes which I declined. He can respond in writing because, you're right;
@Gypsy="The term 'Crazy like a fox' comes to mind about your spouse. If he's great in business, successful negotiating is second nature. He is not your friend. He is using his skills against you."
I've become unavailable to him, & am still busy socially w/new guy, 6 months & prolly 60 dinners later. We really have a good time together. The more I tell him I'm not sure where I want this to go, the crazier he is about me, telling me I'm the perfect woman.
Amazing how one man can place such little value on you & another quite opposite. Really not that difficult to figure out though, now that I'm embracing the whole, "...you don't value/respect me, fine, your choice, I know plenty of others that will."
I am getting more e-mail, v-mail, excuses to have to see me by the day. He now has that worried look of the LBS. It seems he's in dis-belief that I'm moving forward, & happily.
Last night it was lots of lingering, sad looks & sighing @ drop off.
Doesn't effect me anymore.
Next court date is Jan. 5th, when we should have everything wrapped up. Tick, tick tick....
I got it wrong, court tomorrow January 4th...good thing I looked yesterday.
I think it was triggered by my S17 & what looks like an attempt @ seeing just how far I can be pushed...yikes he's giving me a run for my money, I'm taking a break from them all right now.
Self-preservation.
I so appreciate your sending of love & hugs...Thank you Butterfly.
Strange how I feel so happy right now. Still holding on to myself (Da*m it), & fully intending to tomorrow.
I'm embarrassed to say I'm serious about that. Maybe that's why I'm not nervous, I don't know what to be nervous about.