K4D Rising #4

[JayMan]

Kevin,
Some of my days off:

1. Get all the housework done - this way I don't have to do it while kids are around (except for their chores)
2. Select one project to catch up - i.e. replacing blinds.
3. Play pool with buddies
4. Schedule friends over for the Buckeyes game on Saturday
5. Call my Mom and Dad - make sure my family ties are tight and good.
6. Checked out books from the library - nothing like lying back on the recliner, and getting lost in a good book.
7. Finding interesting topics to study Biblically - the Bible is an amazing source of history, and getting lost in God's word just can't hurt...
8. Talk about feelings with a trusted friend - one who knows my situation, cares for me, and understands me.
9. Signed up S7 for basketball.

Monday - I play basketball with community group on one night off
Tuesday - band practice, or "guy's night out, usually pool, bowling, cards, etc
Wednesday - kids, chores, small group from church
Thursdays - designated cleaning/project day
Friday - kids - movie or pizza or theater, their choice
Saturday - football, kids with friends
Sunday - church, lunch with friends/family

As you can see, I am busy, fulfilled, and happy, and I don't spend much money. I love the "new family" I am building with my kids. We feel like a unit now, just the three of us, and whether W had a good day or week or not doesn't matter.

What is your schedule like? You don't necessarily have to fill EVERY empty gap, again a good book and a recliner is awesome.

[K4D]

Also, again You skipped over the real question in my last post. What do you not understand or agree with, about Detachment?
It's indisputably what you have to do.

I agree with it. I understand it. Just implementing it is harder than reading about it.

Kevin

[K4D]

What is your schedule like?

On my weeks off I don't have much going on. The weeks when I have my kids...

Sunday night, get the kids between 6 & 7 and settle down for the week to start
Monday D11 has choir
Tuesday is an evening home or every other week C
Wednesday W has the kids so I usually have dinner with friends or opt to go to AA
Thursday is an evening home
Friday meet with priest then possibly rent a movie night and make pizza's with the kids
Saturday D7 has dance class at noon and usually do some cleaning
Sunday is church/mass and getting the kids ready to go back to their mom's

My week without the kids
Sunday night after I drop the kids off, I usually have dinner with friends
Monday mixed with friends or I could opt to go to AA
Tuesday mixed with friends or I could opt to go to AA
Wednesday D11 and D7 have church quoir
Thursday mixed with friends or I could opt to go to AA
Friday meet with priest, then mixed with friends or I could opt to go to AA
Saturday mixed with friends or I could opt to go to AA
Sunday I go to church/mass and usually hang out with a friend for the afternoon until I get my kids between 6 and 7

I don't have much of a hobby going on.

Kevin

[K4D]

I do try to read/listen to the bible each night. I also stop by the church when I don't have the kids and pray on the way home from work. Sometimes I go and walk along a nature trail in the evening without the kids when I don't have them. That can be anywhere from 2 miles to 4 miles.

But not much interesting in my life. I watch the Dallas Cowboys play.

Kevin

[K4D]

I guess I don't bring much to the table.

Kevin

[ClingingToHope]

My problem is the weekends, both when I have my kids and when I don't. During the week I have plenty to keep me busy. It's the weekends that are hell.

When I don't have them, I'm trying to fill the time and remembering how nice it was to have a family around to always keep things hopping.

When I have them, we have plenty of fun, but I haven't been able to keep myself from wondering what W is doing. I have the LBS problem of imagining she's having all this tremendous fun without me.

How about you?

[K4D]

My problem is the weekends, both when I have my kids and when I don't. During the week I have plenty to keep me busy. It's the weekends that are hell.

When I don't have them, I'm trying to fill the time and remembering how nice it was to have a family around to always keep things hopping.

When I have them, we have plenty of fun, but I haven't been able to keep myself from wondering what W is doing. I have the LBS problem of imagining she's having all this tremendous fun without me.

Ya, I have the exact same problem. The weekends were hopping when we were together because we all did things with the family that no longer includes me and we did stuff with the girls together. W was good at planning stuff. A lot of times it costed more money than I was comfortable with, but we did it none the less. She has quite the life going on right now when she doesn't have the kids. She goes shooting, boating with people that own boats, plays poker, hangs with family and friends.

It is hard for me to think of something that I could afford, would interest me, and that she would find interesting as I would want to bring something to the table that she thinks is pretty neat also.

Kevin

[K4D]

As far as I can tell, she also has someone else in her life where as I don't and won't.

Kevin

[K4D]

I guess I have to be Mr. Fantastic in order to have any shot at bringing something to the table.

Kevin

[ClingingToHope]

As far as I can tell, she also has someone else in her life where as I don't and won't.

That's pretty negative thinking. I've fallen into it as well. Here's something. A friend of mine who went through divorce said the dating thing isn't as scary as you'd think. He divorced at 32 and said all of the wives of his married friends were trying to fix him up with their single friends.

Hopefully, it's too early for you and I to think that way, but it's a small ray of hope.