He spikes his hair, goes to the tanning salon once a day, dresses like he is 16, and says "far out".
What woman would not want that.....
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
T, this is exactly what my H did with my kids (except eldest). He won them over. They know deep in thier hearts that their dad is not a nice person at the moment but he is their dad and in my case he was pretty much refusing to see them unless they did as he suggested.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
I absolutely hate the man he has become.... He is unrecognizable. Here I sit on a Sunday on pins and needles waiting for my 2 girls to come home from their dads. Waiting to see if he will play any games regarding getting them home. He is evil.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
I hear you. Mind keep threatening me with the fact that my son will be able to have input in (he says 3 yrs I think it's 4) and he thinks he will come live with him. Ha. I would love to see him win that battle with all of his crap.
I know, I am the one that does all of the discipline and day to day crap. Then they go over there and play and have fun every other weekend.
BUT, the kids also see that and who actually is there for them all the time. I know that my son knows. He made a comment just the other day that he wouldn't want to live with his dad every day.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
It's a hard place to be in Trusting. Really hard. Most of us understand it. I know I do. Listen, I have had to field questions from my d4 about what she saw happen between her dad and me last Sat. I basically settled on the answer of daddy is not feeling right right now. He is a little sick and needs to get better. She seems to accept that. This is really hard stuff. For all of us. Gotta have ice water in your veins for some of this stuff. Seriously.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
My daughter started complaining about how she hates to go back and forth. She said that Dad wants her to permanently live with him and she is considering it. He will give her a car and I won't.
I can see her purposely try to start a big dramatic fight over it. It is as if I have another ML'er here. It is very difficult. I am in tears. She is trying to push my buttons so she can call him to pick her up.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Trusting, The more you resist, the more your D will want to go.
And having a teenager around might be interesting for the midlifer. He will have to be a real parent.
As far as you being more strict--trust your daughter and yourself. You have raised her well and she will make good judgments. Possibly more mature than his.
What I have noticed is that in reading these threads, the teenagers seem to gravitate to the non-MLC parent in the end.
As far as exposing her to OW--too late for that. Maybe it's time for her to see the real-life "healthy relationship" that he has, all the fun day-to-day interactions.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
T I might try to change the subjest and do not even discuss it with my teen I say this only b/c I have a 14 year old sometimes she may rant and rave about something that is out of the question so I listen momentarily if I can with reacting and then excuse myself..no discussion around it I notice most of the time she will stop forget But if your xh leeps bringing it up to her and she keeps reapeating , it will be harder to avoid and let her forget I would do anything..to not allow my D to live with my xh at this point he is not stable so I know you will handle it the best possible way Im sorry you have to go thru it I wiah it would end already my situation remains very unstable as well my xh like yours appears to continue down his MLC path unreconizable scary and I cannot even have a rational coparenting talk with him it is very hard we are here with u peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
