Last night was H's movie night at some friends' house. He took them back their vaccuum cleaner with my thanks. I've never been invited to this do, but it hasn't bothered me. H was very apologetic about going, and thankful for my 'indulgence.' I shooed him out the door saying that friends and a social life were both good things that I wanted him to have. (True!)
Given how tired he seemed before he left, I expected him to be at the end of his rope by the time he got home, which was pretty much true. I had the bed all pulled out and made up. He gave me a pumpkin empanada that the female half of the couple had made, then went to read to kidlet.
There was very brief chit chat before we snuggled down into the pull-out bed and went to sleep. W/o going into details, another little milestone fell by the wayside bedroom-wise, though it had the feel of simple comfort-seeking rather than passion - and that's just fine. There were also reciprocal tushie squeezes this week, with sort of a playful 'Don't let the guests see!' air to them.
The banter continues, though there hasn't been much opportunity for it with as full of a house as we have.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
Apologies for addressing you here instead of in your own thread, but I know you lurk so here goes.
Have you noticed that your thread seems to have a general lack of female voices in it? Watching your thread for awhile, it seems that when the women contribute, they often (not always) get the rough side of someone else's tongue. After a few go-rounds of that, they stop posting, though I'd bet they still read. Please don't take it personally because you're not the one doing it.
Here's my point: If your thread dwindles down to only two or three voices, you may be getting unintentional tunnel vision in terms of advice, insights, POVs, etc. If everything is working for you, that's absolutely fine and dandy. But in particular, if you want a female's POV, you'll probably need to go out of your way to get one as your thread (not *you*, your thread) doesn't seem to be a friendly place for a woman to express herself.
Tuck that in the back of your head somewhere and feel free to ask here if you ever need me.
Cheers,
Dia
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
FIL, SIL and baby are arriving today and staying thru Friday. This is going to turn several things all caddy-wumpus.
1) H may not be comfortable sleeping in the same bed with me in front of FIL and SIL. Acid test for H.
2) Got no clue how we're going to accommodate everyone since we have no functional guest room at present.
3) Expect major pullback from H as he's not going to want his cake-eating to be seen by his family.
4) No clue how I'm going to be able to work either since I work out of a home office.
A warning, Gentle Reader - I'm about to wander into some intimate territory. Not sure what the board tolerance on this is like, so I'll be direct, but reasonably delicate. If that's TMI for you, best to move along and these are not the droids you're looking for.
H and I continue to take tiny baby steps forward in bed. H is holding the line at not kissing me on the mouth and not having intercourse, but we are petting a bit more each night. I am holding the line at keeping control of my own climaxes. I'm just not comfortable giving that to him under current state. (I would get too vulnerable, plus I'm not sure I like the comfort level HE might have if he thinks that reasonably satisfying me sexually is a fair compromise for not breaking it off with OW.) Last night, however, I let him watch after I backed him off and took matters into my own hands. I was a tad worried he'd see that as rejection (i.e. him doing it 'wrong'), but he enjoyed the show regardless.
Why am I telling you this, you wonder? Well, other people's threads have been immensely helpful to me in getting through various dynamics, especially those involving the ol' relationship push-pull dance. My intent here is to help others by showing them what to expect when things get to this area. But if folks object to the level of detail, let me know and I'll draw the curtain over it.
So afterwards, I got very cuddly-clingy, which he *loved* and encouraged. There were some lovely, soft words of welcome and come hither. I had to bite my tongue to keep the ILYs from flowing. He also responded very well to the line of nips and kisses on his throat and earlobe - so well that he stopped me.
I am not finding this at all frustrating on a physical level. I don't mind the start-stop stuff physically, and yes, we are making progress. Emotionally, though, I'm tired of the walls and limitations. It's the love and commitment I want. The sexual aspect is just icing on the proverbial cake.
Patience.
Patience.
Patience.
A couple of people have asked me about this, so I'm re-posting.
<blush>
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
Nope, H has never said that. Tho from what I gather, some people want a firm ending before beginning anew. For me, 2 yrs separation was enough of an ending, though I can certainly identify and agree with the folks who say that we never got closure.
I just happened to realize that I didn't *want* that particular type of closure while there was still time enough to do something about it.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
