I guess I don't know what to do then. There just doesn't seem to be any options for me to try and fix this other than to just leave her alone which I am doing and work on me.
Meanwhile, she appears to be having a blast. I looked at the schedule for the kids and saw that she has them for halloween, thanksgiving and Christmas. I'm not sure how I missed that originally. Something in the back of my mind tells me that it was planned out that way. But who knows for sure.
<sigh>
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Kevin, Maybe she will be reasonable. maybe she will be willing for you to have split days on some of the Holidays. I would send a short email asking and stating if would be nice but your not going to push it. Just my thoughts.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
For those you should tell W you want joint time with the girls. Like maybe for Thanksgiving, you have them during lunch and she has them during dinner.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Ya, the holiday issue has been bothering me since I looked at the schedule. I haven't said anything to W about it. She may be planning on traveling for Christmas with them. I'm not sure. I think she mentioned something about it.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I hope you noticed then that the question about Retrouvaille was to satisfy your own needs to see the kids. And not really about you reconciling with your W. Come up with an arrangement for the holidays and give it to her.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
That's why you should have a co-parenting/custody order in place. You need to stop wasting your energy thinking about ways to get her to be your W again and start thinking about being civil co-parents. I have a rotating Holiday schedule w my X. I have her for Thanksgiving this year and she has her for Xmas. If were in town then we try to share the Holiday. But, you are better off getting this written up by an attorney or she will just continue to manipulate you.
I hope you noticed then that the question about Retrouvaille was to satisfy your own needs to see the kids. And not really about you reconciling with your W.
It was a combination of both.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Ya, the holiday issue has been bothering me since I looked at the schedule. I haven't said anything to W about it. She may be planning on traveling for Christmas with them. I'm not sure. I think she mentioned something about it.
Kevin
okay...you obsess about all the things she says and does...but you can't remember what she said about CHRISTMAS and traveling with the kids? Isn't that kind of...important?
what is going on with you that you don't know what your holiday schedule is? You said you somehow know it was planned, but you're not sure? Do you listen to her?
This really confuses me. And no, I don't think you draw up a schedule and give it to her, just like she shouldn't do that to you. You suggest and you talk about it, and come to an agreement. You've made it sound like this might have been discussed with her...but you can't remember. Is that what you're saying? Because if you suddenly act like you have a different plan than one you might have ACTUALLY agreed to...well that's going to seem weird. Did you agree to this at some point?
Yes, I agreed to it when she wanted the papers notorized one afternoon. It was rather quickly. I don't remember how much discussion there was about the schedule as she was going through multiple papers. I know I looked at it briefly and there was something said about it, but I don't remember much beyond that.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
