K4D Rising #4

[K4D]

My kids have their C appointment again tonight. I am very excited about it. They will have notebooks to start writing and drawing in and be given homework. I think I am going to talk to the C about C for my own self as well.

Kevin

[C-Bart]

It was the drawing in the notebooks that sold you wasn't it :-)

[K4D]

It was the drawing in the notebooks that sold you wasn't it :-)

LOL, If I can draw also, it makes it all worth it.

Kevin

[breakaway]

Kevin, first of all ditto to what volleydog said, stand away, just get emotionally healthy while you do it.

Anyway, I just came back from an Al Anon meeting, I haven't been able to go for about six weeks. Someone brought up boundaries in conversations and I just want to apologize for being so harsh earlier.

To explain where so much frustration is coming from, I know more than one person, and one good friend in particular who is in a very damaging marriage to an unstable person who refuses to change and keeps blaming her for their problems (HIS emotional abuse). And he keeps telling her divorce is a sin. That God doesn't allow it. He seems to think he can do whatever he wants however. And so MANY women are told this and made to feel guilty about trying to get out of a dangerous ungodly marriage.

I find it an extremely emotional issue. Anyway, you're free to do whatever you please, as you see fit. I think most of us are just trying to help you get unstuck on your fixation on W.

[K4D]

breakaway,

I don't think that I have a right to treat my W as I please. I realize how wrong that was of me. I am not doing that anymore. She doesn't deserve that. I am not pinning the blame on her for our marital problems. I was 80% of it. I accept that. I'm just trying to say that this is not the answer to fixing it. But I realize that I have no control over her choosing to respond or not. I wish she would work with me on it. But I can't make her or force her to and I know that. And I don't try to.

Kevin

[K4D]

It looks like my kids won't be having C tonight after all. D11 has a 101 fever and they think she has the flu. Her grandma is taking her to the doctor. So I rescheduled for next week.

Kevin

[C-Bart]

breakaway,

I wish she would work with me on it.

You must travel this path on your own but not alone. He knows what He is doing. You and I both know you would have never started this journey if your W was still with you.

[Esox]

Kevin,

Do you think that your wife has to forgive you for your past teatment of her?

Do you have any idea how damaging it is to a family that has to live with an alcoholic?

Some hurts cannot be healed. Sometimes the only option is to separate.

I won't argue with you about your religious belief, but frankly, there are some, oh how to say it, strange things in the Bible . . . Ever read Leviticus?

[C-Bart]

Sorry to hear about D11.

[K4D]

Do you think that your wife has to forgive you for your past teatment of her?

Esox, my W doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to do. I wish she would forgive me. But that is her choice.

Some hurts cannot be healed. Sometimes the only option is to separate.

This is a worldy cop out. All marriages can be fixed and healed with time. By the way, I don't have an issue with temporary separation. The bible doesn't even have an issue with that. Its the permanent separation/legal divorce I have an issue with. But I also know once again that it is not in my control. I have no say in the matter and I don't pretend to have a say in the matter.

I won't argue with you about your religious belief, but frankly, there are some, oh how to say it, strange things in the Bible . . . Ever read Leviticus?

I am actually listening to Leviticus on my bible CD. That is a painful chapter to listen to. The rules on how to live by and the dimensions in Exodus are just painful to listen to. They are so long and drawn out.

Kevin