K4D Rising #4

[K4D]

Jesus loved the world enough to die for our sins. But Jesus also had laws that he did not waiver on. He left it up to every person to choose what they were going to follow. But he hasn't changed. Some people try and change things around to make it convenient for them. They distort what the bible really says so that they don't have to endure hardships and tough times. They don't want to turn to Jesus's laws. They want to have Jesus grant them whatever makes them feel better be it right or wrong.

All of us know how difficult it is to stand and have faith and trust in God that he can and will repair our covenant marriages. But it is in His timing and not ours. The world is so used to instant gratification that they don't want to wait on His timing. They want it now or something else if they can't have it now.

It is tough to stand and wait and examine your own self for the changes that you need to make. But the reward at the end of it will be well worth it if you can do it.

Kevin

[JayMan]

Kevin,
There is a lot of truth to this. My W used to have a deep faith - she literally set aside her beliefs so that she could file divorce because she believed it was wrong Biblically. Her solution was to then say, "I just don't believe in the Bible anymore."

I have never pushed her in that regard - but let her see the changes God made in me. It's funny too - she has started changing in many ways. She used to say that she didn't believe in the Bible and not "God", just a higher power. A couple of months later, she told the kids she didn't believe in evolution, but that God created us. Then, a couple of months later, she randomly texted me about something she was watching on TV about God. She started talking about how she wasn't sure about the Bible, and how do we know it's true?

Then, one day, we're at Taco Bell, and she was telling me about a mutual friend that was parachuting in the Army, and he fell and broke his hip, and S7 pipes up, "We should pray for him!" W just sort of looked at him.

The kids and I do pray every single day for her soul, but the best thing I can do for her is to allow God to live in me, and be an example. Realize that I can't do anything about it except perhaps let her see God in me. Actions speak louder than words.

As for you: I think you would get a better reception here on the boards if you would post what is changing in YOU! Let God deal with your W!

How are you improving your quality of life? How is God changing you? What has He revealed in you where you can be better?

[volleydog]

Kev and T,

I don't think anyone begrudges Kevin standing for his M, I say good for you and I pray it works out. It's the seemingly unhealthy attachment to his W. His(your) emotions seem to wrapped up in her even if they were living as a married couple right now it would be unhealthy and as you've said Kev you were this way before...That's why everyone that posts here wants him to get help NOT for standing for his M.

just my $0.02

[C-Bart]

Ditto what V-Dog said. No one is arguing the stand but standing in the road won't make the train stop.

[K4D]

How are you improving your quality of life? How is God changing you? What has He revealed in you where you can be better?

JonF,

Right now I am trying to save money again, so I am not doing a whole lot out there. I am making friends which is good.

God is changing me in that I realize that it is my job to pray for my W's soul and allow God to change me and make me a better H and father to my kids. I have come to realize that it is not my job to change my W, but His job. Like you, the best thing I can do is let her see the changes in me. It is my job to love her unconditionally which means if she doesn't want to be with me, then she doesn't have to. But the door is and always will be opened for her to return. I will be ok with or without her. I prefer it to be with her. But I am not in control of that situation.

I can be non judgemental but hold true to what I know to be right. I don't need to put it in her face. My job is to step aside and work on me and let God work on her. It has been revealed to me just how much I made a mess of things and will continue to if I don't step aside and focus on how I can be better.

Kevin

[K4D]

but standing in the road won't make the train stop

I like that C-Bart. It is God's job to make the train stop, not mine. I am out of the way of the train.

But standing in the gap will make a difference because it will be God making the difference.

Kevin

[JayMan]

Don't forget that it is not God's job to "stop the train". In this case, God gives the train a free will choice.

He will be faithful to talk to your W, witness to her heart, even make her miserable in it, but she gets to make her own choice. Otherwise, we aren't human beings, but religious robots.

I know an amazing, beautiful woman with four children who dearly loved her husband - he left her twice for another woman, and became an alcoholic, rarely came to see the kids. She stood by her marriage vows, raised all four kids, went to school full-time and worked full-time, provided a loving home, and I think a couple of the kids are going into full-time ministry. She accomplished this because she focused on herself and her kids - not her H.

I think you have improved immensely from your earlier days, as many do on here, but just got to get over that hump. Trust me, I know how hard it is!

[K4D]

JonF,

Did she ever stop praying for her M to be restored?

Kevin

[K4D]

Dr. Phil was on the tv last night and D11 told me that Dr. Phil is where me and W need to go. I could only dream of getting my W to go anywhere that could help us.

Kevin

[K4D]

I don't know where people come up with "faith alone" from.

James 2:24 says
Do you see that by works a man is justified; and not by faith only?

Just food for thought.

Kevin