Just so you know...

[kassie]

((BR))

I am shocked to read along and see how the visit went as everyone else is. It is so sad when things turn out to not be what we think. Your H is definitely a sad person.

I think his behavior was horrible and you are incredibly ok!

I have been going through something similiar so I have some idea of how it feels. Not much to say encouraging other than to go on with your life however you wish.

Keep talking.

[bluerain]

Flicka, thanks for promising to not kiss the otters. Just because theyre cuddly doesnt mean they wont bite your face off! 8 miles on the beach tomorrow, the trails dicey, so bring your boots and bear spray, sound good? Ill be there first thing in the morning! I have to go for a tough hike (on my least favorite trail) for work tomorrow so its funny that you would mention that!

Thanks Kassie. I have little twinges of sad, but I think that all in all its hard to describe my overriding feeling, its not sad, or mad, its mostly just kind of done, maybe exasperated.

I wonder, but am afraid to ask, was I totally imagining how great things were going? He didnt even leave the house for the first 5 days, so he couldnt have been having that bad of a time. I know that I cant second guess what I did and how I did it, so Im trying not to, but the thoughts do start to creep up on me.

I did come right out and ask him last night if he could tell me why he didnt want to try. His reply was "I guess I cant". If hes not even willing to try to figure out how he really feels, or isnt willing to express it then fine. I am so over it.

I think I might sign up for eHarmony if I end up D, I dont know if they have many people in Ak.

And, I got a phone call today about setting up an interview for a job, its only part time, but its a start!

[Flicka]

Bluerain, part of their selfish strategy is to keep us off balance. I am certain you did NOT imagine the closeness and familiar fun. I like to read what you write on these boards {and otherwise!} because you are always practical and realistic about your options. You keep forging along with the bigger picture in mind.

I am sorry that your plans for the military are not exactly an option right now, but I am convinced that you will do well with your schooling and get where you want to go.

I wish I could hike with you. Right now, I am just intent on hiking 'away' from my own situation. I have let it drag out too long and got slapped back in a harsh way, lately.

You could stalk the cruise boats for dating options! I am certain the huge staff is there looking for adventures of all sorts. Even romantic ones.. you could charm them!

Good luck with your interview. I'm certain it will go well.

[karen43]

Don't you dare regret anything you did or didn't do!!! It's not about you, it's your H. He sounds like a confused person. I know he's going to have major regrets in the future. His choice though.

Let me know how eharmony goes if you do it. I was thinking about doing one of those sites. I've always loved their commercials; it looks very cool. I think there are tons of single guys in AK aren't there?

I was also thinking about doing one or 2 of the meetup groups. Maybe not a singles group, but like a movie club or book club or something like that, where there's singles but not the main focus of the group. I don't know if AK has much, but they have lots in my area.

Congrats on the interview!!! That to me is the hardest part. When I was jobhunting last time (over a decade ago) I had tons of them no problem. It's so different now; for the jobs I've turned in there are about 200 applicants now, so much competition. It's an honor just to get an interview I think.

[motoB]

Hey Rain... long time no speak, you know how the military life is... always on the move. I read your sitch with alot of good expectations, and fell on my face at the end. Im sorry, hun. I havent had the chance like you did, but if I did I hope I can only be half as strong as you!

My sitch has changed but not really for the better or worse. My W has really opened up and let me talk to her. She now answers the phone, and returns texts... but now insists she has no feeling of love for me. She just wants to be good friends. She was up late last night texting me, and told me that she was making a list of things to seperate in the D. I asked her if it was hard for her and she said no not all, shes long past the hurt... WOW!

I like to think its all script... but what do I do now?

I wish Texas was closer to AK, always wanted to spend some time there, just hasnt been in the cards for me. Maybe sometime if I can ever get there, you can show me the sights from a locals standpoint, and Ill try not to kiss an otter lol. Same goes if you ever venture down to The Lone Star State! Good talking to you again...
your in my thoughts and prayers
B.

[bluerain]

Karen, there are tons of single guys, but theyre all freaks or losers! I used to tell a joke on my tour that the odds are good, but the goods are odd! Honestly, a relationship is just about the furthest thing from my mind right now. There arent really singles groups here, but there are some in the city, and I have a good friend who has talked about going up for one sometime. It might be fun! I made the appointment for the interview on the 24th at 3. Its a office job, sooo not my style, but at this point, beggars cant be choosers!

MotoB, If you have an urge to get transferred up here, I will tell you that Anchorage is a better option than Fairbanks, maybe its just that Im partial to not living in a place where its -40 for 5 months out of the year and only light for 3 hours a day! And I really like living on the water. Its also "overseas", so you make more $. Im sorry your W said something so rotten. That was pretty thoughtless of her, and I agree that it probably is script behavior. Ill head over to your thread and post more, I lost you for a while!

Flicka, did you find my article in the paper? Im so proud of that, I hope that nasty lady read it and went to the doctor!

So, first thing this morning the phone rings and there are 4 crows in a restraunt, I guess they got in through the loading dock. What a great way to start my day! Whenever the first words out of someones mouth are "I have something a little stange going on" I know its gonna be a good one. The worst part: The restaraunt didnt close while these nasty birds were flying all through it!

[orangedog]

... but theyre all freaks or losers!

HEY! Can we allow so exceptions here?

[bluerain]

The majority are freaks or losers!

Better O'dog?

[orangedog]

Better (and I agree)

[bluerain]

Interesting evening... I heard about an otter carcass on an exceptionally difficult to reach stretch of beach the other day, so I called a person who I thought frequented the area in a truck. He told me that he would actually be down there today and he would pick it up for me and give me a call when he was back from the beach.

He called me in the evening and said that he had it in his truck and would meet me at a restaraunt with it, he mumbled something about a glass of wine and said that he needed to grab some food. (apparently, Im totally clueless) When he got to there I pulled out my gloves and he asked if I wanted to deal with the otter or a glass of wine first (still clueless), I said that I would take the otter, so he could be on his way. He said well, why dont we grab a glass of wine and a snack(lightbulb goes off in Kristins head!).

We had a glass of wine and a little meal, I guess it was a pretty good time, though I was more than a little confused about the whole thing... He put the otter in my truck and he asked me if I liked sweet peas or roses, I said sweet peas I suppose (clueless again at this point), and he brought me a nalgene bottle stuffed full of beautiful sweet pea blooms!

I mostly was left thinking what the heck just happened!? But really, I made out like a bandit, wine, dinner, flowers... and a dead otter.

I suppose that it was just a nice evening, Ive worked with this guy before breifly, so I dont think that it was a romantic date or anything. But it was fun, and who cares if I want to pretend that it was more!