Partner left after 9 yrs - 18months on, reunited !

[transformer]

Massage. Yes!

[Kalni]

Which part are you guys massaging by the way? Missed that!

[AliSuddenly]

Well.. had the children convo! I bought it up, tentativley.. he said you know that something I want to do... I said really? How come you didnt tell me that? He said, well there has to be right time.. I said, a right time to tell me, or to do it? He said to do it... Loooong pause from me then... I'm going to be 39 in March... Nothing back ! Will be an immaculate conception at this rate though

[kat727]

Break out the sexy undies again!

[AliSuddenly]

I havent the heart to! I pay him compliments, eye him up, touch him up even, every day.. nada. He is very very huggy and affectionate though, thank goodness. I am struggling a bit. He couldnt be trying harder really, considering he is still not 100% well.. but I feel anger rising the past few days (trouble is, I cant 'access' it and it disipates) and anyway, he's not allowing me to express it as he doesnt want to talk about her and whats done is done and is best forgotton...so I have to swallow it.

Last night he called BMF.. he took Helen to stay there in February, which made me angry..he had already decided it was over with her and admitted he didnt want to take her, but she 'gave him no choice', yet he took her to meet his bestest friend in Wales. Why do that? It feels strangely humiliating. We are going to visit BMF soon (I havent seen him since before the bomb and its a huge deal for me) and he's very glad we are.

As for the children thing.. I have no idea how long he wants to put it off for (but the time isnt right now I assume from what he said) and yet, it may already be too late for me and my ovaries!

[kat727]

I am sure that can all be a bit stressful and no one wants to feel manipulated(I had that from my ex). But maybe if you have them on and just as you are changing...

I think he really needs to talk to his doctor about his meds but I think he will have to feel that he decided that. I have no doubt that he is very happy to be back with you and loves you a great deal.

Some sexual aids may be in order for you because really there are several ways to "do it".

kat

[transformer]

hmmm... he wants to have kids, but he doesn't want to have sex. That's exciting about the kids part but kind of conflicted behavior.

I want you guys to go see dr. schnarck so bad!!!!!!!

[AliSuddenly]

Hey Kat, T! Well, this is difficult, I get the big reconciliation and.. still living like a nun!

So had the BIG talk tonight about kids.. following up the briefer chat yesterday (hadnt escaped my notice this momumentous convo, first since early 2006, happened on the Uranus-Saturn thing.. ). He said he DOES want us to have kids, that he just thinks its not quite the right time, as we've been through alot and wants to have some time to enjoy each other and have fun for a little while.. but he's talking months delay, not years. I pointed out earlier that I am 39 soon and any delay now is risking it.. he had said he is concerned about money (I am a temp with no maternity rights) and wonders if we could wait until I am on a full-time contract.. I said, ok, you are right, we could potentially get 8 weeks min and upto 6 months maternity, what 4, 6, 7k? Or...if we delay until I have earned maternity rights.. that might mean we never have kids.

I also said, I dont know how fertile I am and I dont know how you would feel if it doesnt happen. He said, well.. you know I want kids. And then there was a big silence and some hugs and I feel that intuitevely, we may split up in 5-7 years time if we ry and it just doesnt happen. Its too theoretical and makes me too sad, but realistically, I feel our chances are slim, especially if we delay, so I was thrilled he wants to try in a few months time!!!

When I mentioned OUR ferility.. he straight away said, ok, I will go for tests when we get back and said he agreed it was a good idea for me to start taking folic acid right away. So.. crikey !!

[Kalni]

GO check your feritility levels so you get it out of your mind...
xx

[AliSuddenly]

Hey Maria! You are up late??
I am booked to get my hormones looked at when we get back and I mentioned the folic acid and he knows this is important.. his BFF lost a baby to spina bifida. Still, it could be harder to 'catch' at my age.. my bFF took 2 years of IVF when she was 37 ! Plus the risk of defects goes up of course at my age. I was amazed he suggested straight away to get tested himself, I really was very impressed.

WE BOOKED OUR FLIGHTS!!! Arrive Saturday night.. super excited!! Will email you xxx