True Love or True Fog? Changing Forums

[KarenMarieS]

Hi SF
How are things going?

[Silver Fox]

Hi NLT and Karen,

Thanks for checking up on me. Where does the time go? I would have posted news if I had some but I've not heard back from L on a meeting date and absolutely nothing from H either.

Perhaps he's given up on trying to discuss terms with me but if we don't talk between now and the settlement conference it's going to be awfully chilly in that room.

I feel more and more distant from H. I'm at a fairly calm place now, even though some tough decisions have to be made concerning the house, etc. I've read that calmness is a good sign of detachment.

Pearl:

Just curious because I don't know how this works: If you go to trial does that mean that you both present your cases and the judge decides how to split stuff up? Does adultery count as a legal reason to D (meaning cause)?

We could go to trial but it's much more expensive. It's not like we're Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt - we don't have a lot of assets. Adultery is cause for D but H filed first. My L can argue adultery and abandonment as a counter but he tells me that when there's no children, the judges tend to take the easy way out and split everything 50/50. With the adultery charge the judge may give me a little more but probably not as much as I'm asking for.

H is scared to go to court mainly because Catbitch could be called in. I think that both of them are pretty stressed out over this whole drama and God only knows what kind of lies H has told her.

I was thinking of you and wondering what was happening so let us know what the next steps are. If your shoe size is 7.5-8 I can lend you a pair of my kick ass heels to wear to court!

I wear size 6 and I recently bought a pair of red heels precisely for our next meeting but thanks for the offer!

[KarenMarieS]

bought a pair of red heels

woot hoot!! yeah you!! lol love it!
I remember getting ready for court, I bought a cute black skirt, nice silky blouse and some high heel black suede boots-- got a call the day before, NO COURT, they had come to an agreement-- i was relieved but darn, cute outfit! lol and in Cali not a lot of occassion for black suede heeled boots

Actually tho, whatever makes YOU feel good is what you need to do. Going in there w/ your head held high, is the best outfit!

Believe me SF, they do regret their choices, mine does, he is one messed up dude now, its a shame really- his son loves him but no respect for the things he has done

He said himself to son last month when they were hanging out at his "bach pad" he was miserable a lot of the time. We feel sorry for him even tho it was his choices that got him to where he is now- and he still makes things hard on me re: alimony and son : rocky relationship, when all said and done he is suffering most.

Have a nice weekend !

[pearlharbr]

Ah, well, the vindictive part of me would love to see Catbitch hauled in and put on the stand to answer for her part in this. But I want what's best for you so I'll root for the settlement to work out in your favor.

[Silver Fox]

Thanks Pearl, I prefer to call it accountability rather than vindictive

Karen, I hope your H got to see you in those boots at some point.

[KarenMarieS]

No, he didnt but my fiance now does, much better lol
How are things going?

[pearlharbr]

You're right Silver, it is accountability. If you are going to steal someone else's man you should have to go before a judge and own up to it. Consequences.

Ah, red heels and black suede boots. Both sound fantastic! I was just on a mini road trip with my best friend and we hit some boutiques but alas, no shoe purchases. That's ok, I did get several new pair a couple months ago and I'm still waiting for the weather to change so I can start wearing them.

[Silver Fox]

Right. I'm pretty sure she doesn't look at it as stealing though. H convinced her that he wasn't leaving the M for her. He moved out first before he started the A (officially). Apparently she didn't hear that age old caveat that when a man says his marriage is over and he's getting a D soon, to run like you're fleeing a burning building!

My red heels are actually strappy sandals so if we don't meet soon it will be too cold to wear them. Speaking of which, I've not heard from either L nor H since our canceled hearing two weeks ago. Two weeks of peace!

And listen to this hilarious dream I had last night:

H and I are sitting on the bed. First time we've seen each other in months. He asks me how I am and what I'm thinking about. I'm exhilarated that he's finally focusing on me and now I get to say everything I've wanted to say for 2 years. I tell him that if only he had told me he was unhappy, if only I had known - that I agonize over the year before he left - what did I miss? Why didn't I see any signs? What could I have done differently?

Then I ask him - what are you thinking about? He says Jingle Bell Rock. What? Jingle Bell Rock, the song. You're thinking about Jingle Bell Rock, that's all?! Yep.

I don't think it takes much to interpret this one. And of course that tune has been in my head all day long!

[Silver Fox]

Gee, no comments about my Jingle Bell Rock dream? Well, anyway, I thought it was pretty telling.

Today I collected all H's bills that still come here and wrote OW's address in the "change of address" box and will send them out tomorrow. In an email over a month ago he said he was getting a new address and he would send it to me. I don't know if he meant he was moving out or just getting a P.O. Box but he never gave it to me.

This summer I sent several large envelopes full of his mail to the Catbitch address but he never aknowledged it. Until today I was still putting them in a pile on the kitchen counter. Why?

He hasn't been here since May. He hasn't even asked about his beloved salt water aquarium - the one reason he used to continue stopping by all last year. I do what I can but there are only 2 poor little fish left and the red stuff, whatever that is, is quickly growing over everything.

Does he wonder what's happening to it? Does he think I'm caring for it? Does he care?

Anyway, I've also given some bill collectors who've been calling here the OW's home phone number. Ha! They don't want his cell number. What choice do I have?

Pretty soon she should also be receiving his favorite football team's monthly magazine. He's had a subscription for years with an automatic annual renewal. They've been stacking up too until I finally realized, duh, I can go online and change the address. Just like magic!

[pearlharbr]

I loved the Jingle Bell Rock dream. Just hesitant to post since I get chastised over here in MLC.

I would just change his address with the postal service, that would take care of everything at once. And I would also tell him to remove all of his belongings by X date, if he doesn't you will dispose of them as you see fit. I'm sure if you post a free ad on Craigslist you can get rid of just about anything.

But that's just my opinion and apparently it doesn't count over here.