I can not afford to do the coach right now but I did get the DR book today. I am hoping this will help. But as for right now no I can not afford coach. I wish I could.
t=5.5yrs m=4 kids=4 (8,9,10,&11) I dropped the bomb 10-09 regaining myself in house seperation 9-6-09 divorce final 4-19-10 Moved out 9-17-09
Stephanie If he's going out late and doing more outside of the house, how do you know there is no OW? I too thought my H would NEVER do anything like that because he constantly said it. But he did. And even today his justification is that we were separated. I disagree but that's something we've agreed to disagree about. Why are you so sure? Have you done any checking? Have you asked him?
I have put some Sherlock skills to work. She, the "Friend" left her husband too. He and I have been talking about what is going on. I am not sure what to think of the whole thing. He removed his wedding band and stuck it in his wallet "just incase he wants to put it back on" and refuses to give it to me for safe keeping. That is fine.... whatever. But he is telling her husband if everything straightens itself out we will be a family again. He is gonna have some work to do though to earn back the trust he has destroied..... That much I am sure of. Also on the brighter side he was not with "her" tonight he was seeing old friends and came home saying it is no fair to me that he is out late. We had a few laughs together, he played Daddy for a minute and now we are just taking up space in the same room. I am being cool and he is being receptive. huh. Hope may still be there.
t=5.5yrs m=4 kids=4 (8,9,10,&11) I dropped the bomb 10-09 regaining myself in house seperation 9-6-09 divorce final 4-19-10 Moved out 9-17-09
Stephanie if he has a "friend" that he is talking to, then there is a very likely chance that this is/will become something more. Please do yourself a favor and get a copy of the book "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass as well as DR. I hope not, but what you posted puts my radar up and some of what he is saying is textbook affair behavior. I pray I'm wrong, but you may want to think about doing some more detective work to be sure.
Take care of you and your kids. I can't stress enough to really care for yourself and be kind to yourself right now. My heart goes out to you and your situation. Hang in there and I'll check back with you.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Are you saying there is another woman that he calls his friend? And she just left her husband? And your H is talking the the other H....saying you and H might be able to work it out?
Are you friends with this couple?
And I agree with Sugar and Spice, there is something going on there....what level it is, I really couldn't say. Yes they could simply be friends going through a tough time together, but that commaderie could be growing into something else.
Well this other couple are friends. Her H and I have been talking putting 2 heads together type thing. This is really becoming quite an ordeal. They both say they are just friends. There has been a lot of ppl voicing thier opinion on what is going on..... none of them are happy. As far as the whole him and OW thing I have strong suspitions that it is more on end then the other. As far as he and I we have been laughing and joking around a bit. We still live in the same house and he is telling everyone that if things change we will be a family once again.... To bad for him there is going to have to limits set in place when it comes to "Friend". I know I need to trust but as for right precious trust is being throwen overboard without a net.
As for how to handle him well I will just say I have spent a lot time thinking and well you get more bees with honey. The positive button.
t=5.5yrs m=4 kids=4 (8,9,10,&11) I dropped the bomb 10-09 regaining myself in house seperation 9-6-09 divorce final 4-19-10 Moved out 9-17-09
Stephanie what does your gut tell you? As far as him telling people if things change you'll be a family again, what does that mean and what needs to change? What effort is he putting into making those changes occur? It takes two people to make a R work and if he is spending time with his "friend", then that is time that he is taking away from being a part of the solution to what is troubling your M.
I suggested "Not Just Friends" because it gives very good insight into the "Just Friends" phenomenon and how it can so easily move into something more.
Is your H confiding in the "friend" and going to her instead of going to you with things that happen during the day or for advice? http://www.shirleyglass.com/quizfriendship.php take a look at this site and especially this particular quiz and then take another look at their "friendship."
Sorry to be a downer, but if you want to see what a harmless "friendship" can to to people, read my signature and then go back and read my sitch. Not saying yours would be this bad, but take it from someone who has been through hell and back, don't take it at face value and don't take it lightly. If I could help someone not make the mistakes I did, this would all have been worth it. Also, if it is more than a friendship, you will have to reevaluate the way you "handle" him.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
