A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[The Wifey]

And lets face it Dia - things are progressing along a positive path without games. You just being wonderful you has his interest and curiosity. A little mystery is good, but games not so much.

[Dia]

...things are progressing along a positive path without games.

Thank you, Wifey!

I just wish I felt more certain of that part right now.

Anxiety is biting me today.

I don't want to be divorced. I want my husband back. I want OW out of the &^%$@#* picture. I want to make love to him again. I can't afford a place of my own on what I make. He really can't afford child support. Kidlet needs us together not just geographically, but as an intact, loving, committed family. I'm feeling *very* insecure about getting thrown out (this may be holdover from OM). etc. etc. etc.

And I can't let H get even a whiff of all that.

Oh, and I just found out that I can't file a dismissal on my own. We both have to sign it, and apparently CA doesn't have rules about dismissing for failure to progress. So my D paperwork is somewhere in the desert after being rejected back in late Jan., and I'm terrified that a judge will just finalize the whole thing and I'll be divorced against my will.

<looks back at that>

Oy! Gee, looks like I need to get a life, huh??

[givingitmyall]

Hey Dia.

Just dropping in to say even though I haven't posted on your thread in a while, I have been reading, and it sounds like you are doing great.

I think I will soon be asking you for tips on getting my W to climb over the "wall" she has erected.

[Dia]

Thanks, GIMA. The verbal vomit in my prev. post aside, I'm having difficulty seeing the 'doing great' part today - though all of you are probably right and I'm doing fine.

And I'm *really* looking forward to the Irish music tonight. Excited, even.

Things over in your sitch look quite good, too.

[givingitmyall]

You are doing just fine.

[girlfromoz]

Hi Dia

As I have said before you are an inspiration in your handling of your situation and where you are now. I ready my thread all over again today and when you do that you realise just how far you have come, I think we sometimes just forget that part.

The Irish music sounds great. I hope you had a great time.

Let's know.

[Dia]

Minor work meltdown.

I have workflows coming in from three different people, each with their own idea of what 'top priority' is and how quickly they need X,Y or Z. And they tend not to know what the other parties have given me. In fact, just yesterday, I saved the company about 4 grand because I discovered that T had me pursuing a hotel contract while M and D had already given instructions to our clients to make their own reservations.

At any rate, with the CEO's backing (small company), I just sent a polite email to all three (the CEO is one) listing my entire workload and suggesting that they confer jointly and get back to me with ONE set of priorities.

And - back to my sitch - Thank you, everyone! I need to remember just how good I have it compared to many out there.

[Dia]

Doing what Oz suggests...

My post from 7/20/09

hope and expectations?

Example: Our 15th wedding anniversary is coming up in about 6 weeks. I would really love to be with H then in some capacity or other. Whether it's a movie on the couch, a date, a walk on the beach with the kidlet, a casual lunch - or even pleasepleaseplease, a super romantic dinner date for just the two of us.

(And yeah, I know that last one is pure fantasy-land, so like, while I'm at it, can I have a pony, too? I'd probably be moved to tears if I could even just hold his hand.)

Reminder to self: I GOT that. And ice cream, too.

[mindfull]

DIA - Chin up! You're an inspiration!!!

This is minor pullback stuff. Space and time to process.

Go get 'em tonight!!!

[Dia]

I am all dolled up and decked out.

Black flirty skirt just above the knee
Black opaque tights
Kitten-heel black Mary Janes (not patent leather)
Silver ankle bells
Short sleeve top, V-neck with ring, black with multi-color polka dots

My hair is getting long on my shoulders - though I'm not doing it for him, he likes it that way. My usual style is tousled layers, kinda Meg Ryan-ish from a few years ago. But with the most recent cut, it's doing more this 1930's glamour wave thing. A little sleeker, a little stronger, more worldly, and a little more Va-va-voom than my old style.

The blouse is a touch business-y. I wish I had something more 'out on the town' but living out of a suitcase limits my choices.

Y'all behave now!

Dia out!