K4D Rising #4

[MrBond]

so what did you do?

[K4D]

I had kind of a hard weekend. I'm not interested in talking about it. Just focusing on work today.

Kevin

[MrBond]

You didn't backslide again did you? Talk it out to not let it fester in your head.

I hope your D's are okay and I'm praying for your sitch.

[K4D]

I caved and emailed this to W.

W,

The girls and I are ready for us to be a family again. I am ready to come home and us work on our marriage.

This is no life for any of us. This isn't how it was meant to be. I am ready to step up to the plate to meet all of your needs and be the absolute best I can be for you.

Please consider this. Please soften your heart.

I forgive you for everything. There will be no questions asked and will never be anything brought up. I have simply open arms and unconditional love for you. I ask that you please forgive me to and allow us to start fresh and new.

Kevin

She didn't respond. I don't know why I sent it. I was just feeling lonely and tired of this whole situation.

[K4D]

My girls have their counseling appointment tonight. They will actually get to talk to the counselor tonight.

I just had a hard weekend. I took a hit financially and just had a tough later part of the weekend.

Kevin

[The Wifey]

I caved and emailed this to W.

She didn't respond. I don't know why I sent it. I was just feeling lonely and tired of this whole situation.

Kevin, I am not going to 2x4 you, but I am going to ask how your hand hurts after you touched the hot stove. You know that this won't have her softening her heart. You know it probably took down a bunch of legos.

You caved because you were lonely and tired of the sitch. Ok, fair enough. How does your W feel? How can she believe that you will put her first when you put your loneliness and fatigue in front of how she feels?

Strap on those big boy pants, Kevin. Life up your chin. Go get a gosh darned notebook that you can write in. Put all the words in there that you want to say to her. All of your pledges, all of your professions of love and pain.

This is the hardest part of moving forward, Kevin. And it doesn't get easier in the short term. The only way through it is through it. And, if your W were to have a glance back on her walk, you want the you she looks at to be the strongest, most confident Kevin you can be.

Remember when we talked after the two of you argued. You were ashamed of yourself and understood there was going to be a lot of work you would have to do on yourself. There is still a lot of work to be done.

[MrBond]

Yeah I would call that a backslide.

[volleydog]

Kev,

Obviously sending that was wrong you know it so no need to rehash...One question and please don't take this wrong, were you drinking when you wrote it?

[K4D]

VD,

No, I was not drinking when I wrote it. I was just feeling tired of this whole thing again.

It seems like I will go through periods of feeling more positive, and then I go through periods of feeling more hopeless. I think it just feels like it is getting harder to get up lately and be motivated.

It is something I have to snap myself out of again.

Kevin

[K4D]

Remember when we talked after the two of you argued. You were ashamed of yourself and understood there was going to be a lot of work you would have to do on yourself. There is still a lot of work to be done.

Yup. I know it. I have to start putting those legos back on again.

Stuck, yup, it was a backslide again.

My girls went to their counseling appointment last night. They both seemed to enjoy it. Hopefully it starts helping them.

D11 was ready to run away to Orlando Florida last night because she is tired of D7. The 2 can't seem to get along to save their lives.

Kevin