Since I know the topic of my underwear has caught H's attention, I have added them as a weapon in my arsenal. Several of my jeans are quite baggy due to weight loss, so when I wear them I make sure I have something lacy or naughty showing. In addition, the guest room I've been cleaning out has our laundry machines in it. I did my delicates today and I made sure some lacy camis and other frilly bits were hanging in front of the window.
The Anatomy of a Hug
There's been a change in H's hugs of late. I've gotten two recently where he comes up behind me and wraps one arm across my clavicle and shoulders and pulls me against him. There's a very different feel to it vs. your standard facing each other hug. It's a stronger grab, for one thing, and it has a very dominant, assertive male, sexual feel to it. Not sure if I've described it well, but boy do I like it when I get that kind.
The Power of Pronouns
H has been saying 'we' more lately, and in the context of the future. In the beginning, I was saying we but he was careful to say I. Today he noticed that I'd thrown away some old pillows. They were discolored and didn't smell good. He noted that "When you're done sorting and throwing away everything, if we lack for pillows we can always buy new ones."
The concept of 'us' as a unit seems to be filtering through to the aquifer of his subconscious. Now if we can just get it back to the top as a conscious choice, things will be good.
Last edited by Dia; 09/06/0910:09 PM.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
Since I know the topic of my underwear has caught H's attention, I have added them as a weapon in my arsenal. Several of my jeans are quite baggy due to weight loss, so when I wear them I make sure I have something lacy or naughty showing. In addition, the guest room I've been cleaning out has our laundry machines in it. I did my delicates today and I made sure some lacy camis and other frilly bits were hanging in front of the window.
Your not playing fair! I like it. What kind of reaction would you want, short of wild monkey relations, from your H as a result?
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
The reaction I'm hoping for goes something like this:
1) Oooh, I'd like to see her in that!
or,
2) She wears *that*?!? <sha-wiiinnnngg!>
Alas, though - I am angry and resentful tonight. He is cake-eating. Here I am doing *major* cleaning, cooking, minding kidlet, working full time, buying groceries and giving him money toward household expenses and he gets to have OW on top of that. And just to add the whip to the raspberry resentment trifle, cake-eating has been part of my plan all along. I want and need him to cake-eat for this to work. I just don't have to like it!!
So I had a me night tonight. I left the house and went to a movie. I saw Julie and Julia, finally. It was good. I ate popcorn. I came home and made a salad for just me. I did my own laundry and no one else's. For dessert, I made myself a banana boat. From the looks of it, H ate microwave popcorn for supper and kidlet nuked Hot Pockets. But tonight, at least, none of that is my problem
Last edited by Dia; 09/07/0904:46 AM.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
Dia, Im glad that you went and saw your movie, I remember you talking about wanting to see that one.
I dont think that its unusual, or necessarily unhealthy right now for you to having some ups and downs. So I am really happy that you took the initiative to do something nice for yourself instead of just wallowing in your anger and trying to fake a good mood for your H's benefit. And you are entitled to some resentment! Look at how hard you are working, you really would be a saint if you managed to not get at least a little salty about it!
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
Hey Dia, Yes H is cake-eating but he is still making steps towards you bit by bit. I think your journalling here helps us all see the progress you have made and in turn to keep you on course. Look forward now and disregard the cake-eating and focus on those wondeful steps out of the dark. I think it was when I lost sight of the steps forward that our sitch took a backward step. Anger and impatience are our worst enemies.
So glad you opted for a ME night instead.. Yes he is cake eating but try and remember that when the house is all spick and span and you know where everything is, it will be you that will have the sense of satisfaction, and you will have plenty of time to do what you want, and also you will have shown kidlet that in the face of adversity sitting down and falling apart is not an option but to get up and fight for what you want, a lesson which is very important to learn early in life.
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
