Journaling: Friday afternoon: Not feeling great. I will be telling mom that we are seperating tonight. W has now seemed to completely disconnect. We will be telling girls on Tuesday evening. W stays first night in other place on Wednesday.
I will do my best to have a good weekend. I think it will be a good time to build a better relationship with my dad. We currently have that typical father-son relationship. We will go to the normal guy events together and talk about superficial stuff. I don't blame him for that relationship, I always kept him at arms length. I was the loner. However, I may ask for a little more support this weekend. It will be interesting to see how he responds.
Journaling: Saturday Morning: I need to make a quick post. I am actually keeping myself busy. Before leaving for parents last night, I told W that I was dissappointed in what was happening. W: "What are my options? Remain depressed for the rest of my life. Is that what you want?" M: <shrug shoulders> "Just telling you how I feel about this." W: <starts to cry but stops when D5 walks in>
Some background: W knows that I have been on a forum about our marriage, but doesn't know where it is. Early on, in one of our conversations when she was questioning my motives, I said you can read everything that I wrote if you want. She then said she didn't need to do that.
So anyway, W calls me when I am almost to my parents home last night. She says she is having a "hard time" and couldn't finish packing. She wonders if she can read what I wrote. I nearly say yes, but then say "I would rather not, I need the confidentiality". She then gets very short, saying she was being impulsive, and then quickly gets off the phone.
My parents now know of the seperation. I have been keeping myself busy and feeling OK.
Well, you had told her she could read it. She wants to know what you are thinking. Any chance you could offer to answer any questions she has of you? Or ask her what specifically she would like to know?
I have started reading "No more Mr Nice Guy." Robx, I have nominated you to be one of my "Safe Male Friends" I am assuming you are male. If not, you put on one hell of a show. So, I am suppose to say what from my childhood helped in giving me the "Nice Guy Syndrome", which I am not yet convinced I have.
Really, my childhood was pretty normal. I actually had a pretty good childhood. But my parents did live a lot of their lives through us children. They were always bragging about our accomplishments to family or friends. It was something I really hated. Not sure what that would have to do with my current sitch, but the book said to share it with you.
Tristan go back and read Robx's post when he first came on the board. He explained himself really well and gives a good description of a nice guy. The way he described himself explains me a lot. And it is totally a different Robx
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33
I have started reading "No more Mr Nice Guy." Robx, I have nominated you to be one of my "Safe Male Friends" I am assuming you are male. If not, you put on one hell of a show. So, I am suppose to say what from my childhood helped in giving me the "Nice Guy Syndrome", which I am not yet convinced I have.
Really, my childhood was pretty normal. I actually had a pretty good childhood. But my parents did live a lot of their lives through us children. They were always bragging about our accomplishments to family or friends. It was something I really hated. Not sure what that would have to do with my current sitch, but the book said to share it with you.
Just thinking out loud here. Could it be that you got used to getting praise for performing well and for someone else's pleasure, vicarious ego boost and amusement? That you learned to stuff it and do what made you look like a great kid worth bragging about rather than what you perhaps genuinely wanted to do or be?
Journaling: Saturday Night: W left a message wanting me to say goodnight to the girls for her and tell them that she loves them. She also let me know that she moved most of her stuff "because she already had people coming over." The message was very cold.
This message hit me hard. I went out and had to take a few moments.
Is it normal for WAS to be so back and forth from one night to the next? Some nights (like tonight) I wonder if there is any hope for us. But last night she told me that she misses me next to her in bed. What is going on?
Journaling: Sunday evening: Spent the day keeping myself busy. We (D6, D3, & I) started the day off by going to church. We left from there to meet parents at the fair. My grandfather owns some horses, so we went to go see a few of them run. Plus, the girls really enjoy the other stuff that goes on at a fair. We came home and had a little cookout with the parents; hot dogs and smores.
I tried talking with dad a little bit about what I am going through. He was OK talking about legal stuff, but he shut down when I traversed into conversation about the relationship. Doesn't look like I will be able to go there in the future with him. So I will continue to spill my guts on this forum if you all don't mind ;-)
W hasn't called today. I am not contacting her either. This sucks, but I think I am getting a little better at it.
As far as her being all over the place .... you could assume she's trying to mess with you, or you could assume SHE has no clue what will make her happy, none at all, and is just giving voice to her emotions from moment to moment. Doesn't really make any difference, since you can't know for sure either way.
Focus on your plans for yourself and your beautiful daughters. You are learning and growing a lot.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
