The scary thing about backing away completely is that I did that at the beginning, for four months, and he did pursue me BUT then he got over it. That's when he decided to start dating OW. So I'm afraid that I am just showing him that it's just going to be that way again.
I just can't keep doing this, though. This morning was the 1st day of school and he called after I dropped the kids off. Wanted to talk to them, but too late. Asked how it went and I told him that our 8 yr old son was having a hard time (very emotional). He went on with that for a second, then said "Not that you care, but..." and started to tell me about his weekend. Casual, like nothing had happened. I know he is confused but NO. I freaked out in my head a little and told him I had another call coming in and I would have to call him back later. He said that was fine.
Did not call him back yet and get sick at the thought of it. I am back to not being able to eat much and feel like throwing up and crying. NOT GOOD PMA!!! I am not going to call him or talk to him until I get myself under control again. I know he is going to cycle back to me and back to her again, over and over until he gets something figured out in his head.
I wonder if school starting will have an effect on him. He seems really concerned about the kids and this will be a big reality check after the easy non-scheduled summer he had with them.
I had spent the weekend praying HARD that if it was God's will that our family is reconciled, He would build a wall between XH and OW and draw them away from each other.
This afternoon, the OW called me. Not sure how she got my cell phone number, I guess XH gave it to her. Told me that she wanted to be sure that we were both being told the same story. I asked 3 times if he knew that she was calling me, she said yes. So she told me what he was telling her - that I was calling him constantly, stalking him, dropping by to see him or asking him to come see me - and I told her that I had stopped doing that a month ago. But that he had been talking to me every day, stopping by to see me, etc.
She asked me several more things, then asked what I had been told about her. I was very nervous about telling her because I didn't want her to go back and twist the story to XH. But then I decided she did have a right to know and he knew she was calling, so... I told her.
She told me she was going to tell him he had to make a decision. I told her that I didn't think that would work because hadn't she been asking him to do that all along? We hung up and she told me to feel free to call her if I had any questions.
XH called me upset (of course) and questioned me. Some things were over the top, not sure if she embellished or he did. I told him that it was between her and him, that I just answered her questions.
Called his friend to get feedback on what I should have done and he said "I probably shouldn't tell you this but OW called XH and told him it was over. If he tried to contact her any more she would get a restraining order." My feeling is we'll see. The roller coaster rises and falls on a daily basis around here.
BUT ... I say again, is there any doubt that prayer works? This was so totally out of the blue. It stopped me in my tracks when I realized what happened.
Any opinions on what I should do now? I plan on laying low for awhile, not getting sucked into the drama, and letting him make the next move. After what she told me though, his road back just got considerably steeper.
