It sound like you got some great advice from a family member on a finding good lawyer just as I did.
Lawyers can be very busy and costly. One thing I learned was to try and deal with my L's paralegal as much as possible and rely on my L for the professional legal advice and wisdom.
I am starting the L issues with the same lawyer as H. That's if I agree with what he offers... Our system works nothing like yours. Or at least that is what I think so far...
Bbj, you need to focus now and stay calm. Make it "Your game your rules" (sounds familiar?)
So since this is a battle I checked Dan's mailbox on the way home and there was a bank statement in there, lucky me. They are barely sealed from his bank so I can open and glue them back shut...
Debits in K.C. on 7/23 and 8/10....
Funny thing is 7/23 is a Thursday, and he took me out to dinner the following night 7/24.
So he must have been in town and working, don't know how he got to KC after work Thursday,went to the bar (it was a bar in K.C. he regularly went to with 'work friends', such as OW), and got back to work Friday.
Of course as far as I know he called in sick...
8/10 is a Monday which means he either called in sick or went over the weekend and it showed up Monday. That weekend was the weekend he went to Nathan's counselor with me Saturday morning, then took us out to lunch, then went to karate, then took Nathan out to the farm for awhile. Then Sunday he was at church at 9:00 am for the Sunday school program. And he was home Monday evening to spend with the kids while I worked for school. So again must have been a short trip...
Yes, a lag time. But I point-blank asked him last night about the charge to KC that was on the June statement. He said he has no idea how it got on there. He also said he was not seeing her (ow) or anyone else. So he IS a liar...but we already knew that.
Your h makes me so mad. He has a loyal w and a beautiful family and he is f'ing it all up!! And the fact that he hates women really scares me because you have your darling little daughter and will he start hating her too? That type of pathology scares the crap out of me. Or maybe I just read too many Ann Rule books.
BBJ, I know you will come out the other side and be ok. You will probably meet a nice guy who will treat you and your sweet children the way a good husband and father should.
I feel like he is also trying to check me, see what I am thinking. It is typical after he has been an ass for him to try and have a couple 'normal' exchanges with me to neutralize things. After I reply nicely a few times he backs off again, certain that I am not up to anything...
Dan is predictable...this should be like "shooting ducks on a pond"
BBJ. you sound pretty assertive right now. Organized and ready to go. Good for you. I am curious about a few things you wrote; Where is Dan's mailbox? Is the bank statement still addressed to both your names? What is his reaction when you bring up proof vis a vis the method used to obtain it (in other words. does he not ask why are you opening my mail?). Finally, how much proof do you need...he has a history of betrayal and lying. I am sorry to say that this type of behaviour may leave for a short period of time but usually resurfaces.
He doesn't know how I know, he has no clue I have gotten the statement out of his mailbox and then put it back. My name is on his paperwork for his house, so I figure that mailbox is mine, too. It is right out in front of the house on the street like everyone's in our town.
I didn't mention the last discovery to him. All I mentioned is that a debit from KC showed up on the June statement. He has his own acct but also on rare occasion uses our OLD acct, the one I don't use anymore. It only has a couple hundred dollars in it. He didn't ask me how I knew, maybe he thinks he accidentally took it out of our joint acct.
Wouldn't you know Sunday is our 12th anniversary. 2 years ago I made him a scrapbook for our 10 years together, set the table with napkins from our wedding, with our unity candle and cake topper for a centerpiece, etc etc. He was already sleeping with her then...Last year we had just done Retro and we went out to dinner just the two of us...this part does suck.
