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Journaling

Monday:
W became extremely upset with me yesterday when she found out that our savings account was in only my name and not both of ours. She called me on the phone insinuated that I was trying to cheat her. I tried to explain that the account was set up several years ago before I ever had any notion that we could end up like this.

Went home and asked her to go for a walk so we could calm down. This seemed to work. By the end we were rather friendly. I showed her all the accounts last night. She gave a check (from her new checking account) to a landlord for a security deposit to hold an apartment.

Last night after the conversation we ended up ML. I am not sure how it happened, but I am a guy that has needs. Afterward, she left the bed to go sleep with MIL. She said she didn't need to be any more confused than she already was.

I talked to a lawyer this morning. She told me to let the money go. She said that it would be counted against her assets in the end anyway.

So would binviting single moms over for playdates (for the children I mean) be considered dating? I on't think so.


Me: 36, W: 33, M: 10 yrs
Bomb: 1/09, Seperated: 9/09, Piecing Begins: 10/09

My story: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...t=91&page=1
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Quote:
So would binviting single moms over for playdates (for the children I mean) be considered dating? I on't think so.


Why single moms? Huh? Why don't you plan playdates with whoever your kids are friends with...

I kind of can't believe you asked that question but ok. No, it isn't dating if you are there to have your kids play together but seeing as you are a guy and all and you have needs, you might not want those single moms alone with you... crazy



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Sorry if this is obtrusive, but I can't figure out how to PM.
Alive and Kicking - I have read a lot of your stuff. Would you mind stopping by my thread and giving me your thoughts? I have some questions that your experience would be really valued.


Me: 35
W: 31
S:9
M: 10 years
Together 13
MySitch - Ups & Downs
She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
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Originally Posted By: tristan


Last night after the conversation we ended up ML. I am not sure how it happened, but I am a guy that has needs.



I certainly understand, Tristan. I do also very much hope that you are using protection, for obvious reasons.

Puppy

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I'm a bit busy right now and sort of breezing through here but I will take some time to really focus on your thread as soon as I can...



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OK. Just got back from IC. He made it perfectly clear to me what Robx and puppy have been trying to pound in my head for quite some time. He said absolutely no hugging, touching, kissing, etc. It is bad for my self-esteem and her mental health. Sorry Robx, I owe you an apology for not following your recomendations more closely. Thank you for your time.

He did disagree you on the dating though. He said as long as I am married there should be no dating.


Me: 36, W: 33, M: 10 yrs
Bomb: 1/09, Seperated: 9/09, Piecing Begins: 10/09

My story: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...t=91&page=1
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Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking
Why single moms? Huh? Why don't you plan playdates with whoever your kids are friends with...


Hello alive,

I just thought about this and I'm not sure I feel comfortable around couples anymore. Did anyone have trouble with this initially? Why moms? Because I don't know any single dads yet.

And sorry about the guy with needs comment, it's just hard to ward off the advances when they occur. My IC made me realize that it is because I don't want to let her go, but that is exactly what I need to do. Its the exact thing that everyone here has been telling me. It is really just very hard to be disciplined and stick to it when W turns on and off like a light switch.


Me: 36, W: 33, M: 10 yrs
Bomb: 1/09, Seperated: 9/09, Piecing Begins: 10/09

My story: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...t=91&page=1
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Yikes, wires crossing. Of course you have needs, we all do (I slept with H many times after he left)!!! I was kind of playing and while I think I may be a little too hard on you, I think you're also a tad traumatized...

You don't need to apologize for communicating honestly here.

I think you do need to boost your confidence and feel more self-assured. You don't want to be like that with wife..."Oops, oops, sorry I said that" kind of thing.

I am not teasing you. You seem like a really thoughtful and nice guy (good things!!!!) but you really need to get your nuts back too (as some of the boys here like to say). It is a fine line but you can do it.



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Quote:
I just thought about this and I'm not sure I feel comfortable around couples anymore. Did anyone have trouble with this initially? Why moms? Because I don't know any single dads yet.


My point was that you should make playdates with moms (single or not), dads or caregivers of your child's friends. I'm not saying to hang out with couples (most couples don't do "playdates" together anyway).



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Originally Posted By: tristan
Last night after the conversation we ended up ML. I am not sure how it happened, but I am a guy that has needs. Afterward, she left the bed to go sleep with MIL. She said she didn't need to be any more confused than she already was.


Are you more or less confused after this?

SMcQ

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