K4D Rising #4

[K4D]

Today the kids, my dad and I all went to mass. Then we went and had pizza for lunch. From there we went to drop D11 off at W's house so W could take her shopping for a few more things. While there me and W discussed the first day of school and activities for the kids. The conversation went fine. She asked about the Cowboys stadium and I told her all about that.

Then W's step dad in law showed up and said hi to me and hugged me and asked how I had been doing. He was very nice. He still likes me. Just W's mom hates me.

All in all it went fine. Then my dad and I and D7 headed back to my apartment where I marinated some meat to grill out for dinner. We will probably take D7 to the pool in a bit.

I know I have pretty much been abandoned on here. But I am going to post anyways as it is an outlet for me.

Kevin

[BobbiJo]

Kevin I am glad things are going well. Sometimes posting slows down when there is no 'drama' or 'emergency' but that is a good thing too...

[Sara]

I know I have pretty much been abandoned on here. But I am going to post anyways as it is an outlet for me.

Kevin, new people happen onto these threads every day. Keep writing and new people will answer. And maybe they will agree with the last group, and maybe they will have different ideas. But you need to keep working to be the best you that you can be. Everything else will fall into place.

[25yearsmlc]

Today the kids, my dad and I all went to mass. Then we went and had pizza for lunch. From there we went to drop D11 off at W's house so W could take her shopping for a few more things. While there me and W discussed the first day of school and activities for the kids. The conversation went fine. She asked about the Cowboys stadium and I told her all about that.

Then W's step dad in law showed up and said hi to me and hugged me and asked how I had been doing. He was very nice. He still likes me. Just W's mom hates me.

All in all it went fine. Then my dad and I and D7 headed back to my apartment where I marinated some meat to grill out for dinner. We will probably take D7 to the pool in a bit.

I know I have pretty much been abandoned on here. But I am going to post anyways as it is an outlet for me.

Kevin

What is it you expect K4? You said you only "want positive support from now on from people who agree with you" and no one can disagree with you or your goals.

You are incapable of distinguishing from detaching and giving up[/b] so there is no point in advising you to do anything b/c all you want is advice on getting your wife back, and even if that is possible,[b] it'd be by detaching! Then You SAY you "get it", but you say lots of things. But what you DO, is NOT detachment by a long shot.

I have no idea what you think people who posted to you several times a week for months, are supposed to say now, about you marinating your steak...."good job!" I love meat....?? Is that your GAL?

On the other hand, I sure as heck don't want to debate theology with you, nor do I want a long LONG post from you on your "belief du jour" about m, or "real love, vs need" wherein you post what someone else (like me! for instance) [i]told you [/i]months ago, or something you read somewhere BUT which you don't act on, and you post it as if you are teaching US SOMETHING YOU LEARNED, AND ARE PRACTICING....but the thing is, you still pursue, you still obsess about your w, and you still note everything your w does or says or what you think she means, and...

Oops, there I go, Not being "positive"....so if this is "abandoning" you, then so be it. You told us you only want us tell you how right you are. If we don't think you are right, or accurate, what's to say?

Even when you DID want real advice, you rarely took it and when it came to the big stuff, you never did. How many MONTHS has it been that we all pleaded with you to get help for your poor d's, and now, maybe, you say you have "set it up" so that sometime soon it might happen....but all I know is I' ve heard way more about your w's reaction to it and who will pay for it....than anything good or positive about it.

This is NOT a 2 x 4. It's an answer to a comment and really, you THINK you know why people are no longer posting to you. But you don't. Maybe, you should say "thanks so much!" to the many many people here who posted to you so often, SO OFTEN for SO LONG, only to have you noq play this victim thing??....while you repeat the same behavior again.

You have gotten more attention for longer than anyone I know on this site. So please don't complain about "being abandoned". It's not becoming.


Now I really have to go.

Good luck,
j

[K4D]

What is it you expect K4? You said you only "want positive support from now on from people who agree with you" and no one can disagree with you or your goals.

I don't mind being disagreed with. I just don't want to be attacked. I am fine with constructive critisizm.

You told us you only want us tell you how right you are. If we don't think you are right, or accurate, what's to say?

No. I don't mind being told I am wrong.

Maybe, you should say "thanks so much!" to the many many people here who posted to you so often, SO OFTEN for SO LONG, only to have you noq play this victim thing??....while you repeat the same behavior again.

I do want to thank everyone who has taken the time to post to me. I have more than a books worth of information that is very valuable. Thank you all.

Kevin

[K4D]

Last night W brought over D11 after more school shopping. I had been grilling out some chicken. W brought in stuff. W and D11 got me a Dallas Cowboys shirt. W said it was from the girls to me. W also bought a water filter for my apartment since my girls don't like tap water and she put that together. She told me that she knows I am probably not impressed with that. I said it is fine.

I offered W a peice of meat and she gladly excepted and ate it. She then told the girls good bye and left after going through the school stuff.

This morning I dropped off the girls at W's house so I could take my car to the mechanic to have work done on it. She is taking them to their first day of school. I told the girls I love them and I hope they both have a good first day and I am looking forward to hearing all about it tonight.

I think it is difficult for me to detach and at the same time not think about her. I think about her because I pray for us and I keep hope alive. So that makes it harder to detach for me.

Kevin

[C-Bart]

Kevin,
Been lurking on your thread for a while. I'll admit to have not read it all as I'm trying to limit my time on DB. One piece of advice, get over-involved with your kids. Do every thing you are doing and double it. Today is their first day at school. Go have lunch with them if you can. Introduce yourself to their teacher's. Talk to the school councilor. Know each one of their friends. Its crunch time. Your kids need you now more than ever. You don't have time to fix something that can not be fixed at this time. Focus on leading your family - not controlling it.

Not sure if I wrote that for you or me :-).

BTY - You are picking up every morsel you W lays out and gobbling them up like candy.

[K4D]

Hi C-Bart,

I can do that with D7 later on this week. My car is in the shop today. I can't do that with D11 as she does not want to be embarrassed. She specifically asked that we do not have anything to do with her inside the school.

I joked around with her some about it, but said that she would just be dropped off in front then.

She is worried about her "reputation" being ruined. lol. She started 6th grade in middle school today. D7 however does want me to come meet her teacher and likes it when I have lunch with her.

As far as picking up each morsel and eating it like candy... I'm not sure how. I know where W stands with everything. I'm no fool to where she is right now. I just do what I am supposed to do. I am going to be very involved with the kids. This week is going to be very busy for me with them and their after school activities.

Of course I had some trouble sleeping last night and I am tired from it today.

Kevin

[The Wifey]

This is NOT a 2 x 4. It's an answer to a comment and really, you THINK you know why people are no longer posting to you. But you don't. Maybe, you should say "thanks so much!" to the many many people here who posted to you so often, SO OFTEN for SO LONG, only to have you noq play this victim thing??....while you repeat the same behavior again.

You have gotten more attention for longer than anyone I know on this site. So please don't complain about "being abandoned". It's not becoming.

Wifey,

You're good to be hanging in there w/Kev.

I wish him all the best, but can't be involved with this right now.

Blessings,

Stacy

Please, for your sanity and for my mine, stop reading and posting to Kevin.

I know you have reached out, tried and gotten frustrated. I know you truly tried to help him.

I do not find your posts to be particularly helpful any more. They are dripping with frustration and bordering on mean.

I mean really, after castigating him for several paragraphs, 25yrs says this isn't a 2x4. Then, after Stacy says she can't be involved any more she chimes in about the story of the man on the roof during the storm. It isn't good for either of you and obviously isn't getting through.

If what you are doing isn't working you are supposed to do something different. It doesn't just apply to M's.

Butterfly wings are extremely delicate. We all spread our wings at a different pace.

[25yearsmlc]

Wifey,

thanks for sharing that kind hearted post with us, wifey. I am sure it was not meant to sound smug or condescending, or critical and hypocritcal all at the same time, like the way you blasted cg, who has also posted here for months, (not weeks), with detailed lists of suggestions that were incredibly time consuming and almost completely ignored.

Unlike you, who shows up late at the party and tells the rest of us how to do it "right", why not stick around for MONTHS POSTING, not merely "lurking" til you can come in and blast US and then "show us how it is done" only to repeat to K4, what WE said months ago, and NOT more kindly than we did then btw....

and practice what you preach about the 2 x 4 s. OMG you have such double standards!

We all have our tales to tell and had kids in the hospital last week, or deaths to deal with, or CG's horrible health problems that make K4's look like middle school problems, and then to come and see k4 whine about "Being abandoned" after Publicly saying he only wants positive feedback (his words) but privately asking ME to not give up on him. well K4, I have to, but Yeah I thought you needed an explanation for my not posting here, and I stand by it!

But again, YOUR message wifey could have left out 2/3 of it to get YOUR "important" message across. You still owe CG an apology. I doubt she's waiting for one. You hurl out the 2 x 4's and then pretend to have done it lovingly. Please... Be here, in 8 months posting to kevin at least 4 times a week and then tell everyone how to do it "right". Actually that would still be obnoxious.

Do YOU feel better now? I think that's what your goal was. Hope it worked.
The only thing you are correct in is that it IS frustrating to watch K4 go in circles, and NOT help his d's. He has, if it's true, (b/c you have hidden things in the past k4) "set up" appointments for his d's soon...okay well

MY kids got appointments within a week of the bomb, and I didnt' ask h for any input really. (Why would the WAS want to admit there might be a problem? Why would I wait for permission to help my d's pain?) I just dealt with it alone just like I dealt with their nightmares and tears....

and now h is back home and feels pain and shame and is working hard on his Rs with the girls, and they are STILL getting c! Why not? Their well being always came before mine, b/c they are inextricably linked.
it's the only thing I give a crap about in this thread now, is those girls.

I hope k4's girls somehow get thru this without HIS pain ruling their lives.

And k4, yes my d is out of the hospital, as you MAY know, (from the other threads.)
Wifey, again I would suggest you practice what you preach. Don't tell others not to give 2 x 4's while you doing that exact thing to them. It's just hypocritical and self righteous, and I was clearly not going to post here anymore anyhow so it was also totally unecessary. Ever wonder why you do this to so many women?

j-