Hope you had a good day on the beach. Good for you. Documentation. Very good self preservation skills you have Sunny. It is so pathetic & sad that he wants enough time with his son to qualify for a tax break! Ouch. Take care.
Thing's are moving right along & I'm finding myself in a confused state, bordering on panic here & there.
Now that I've expressed to H it's too late to do anything but go thru w/the D, when I get an email like I got this morning about him filing a motion for bifurcation (where the D goes thru w/out having all the financial & custody issues completed), I start to question whether I'm making the right decision.
I can see how involving another person puts pressure on following thru with what you've expressed as your desire to be done w/your M.
I'm not making any moves right now, since H is out of town until Sunday, and new guy until Monday. It may be a case of severely cold feet on both fronts.
I've taken such a hard line now with H that it's done, I don't know anyway out that wouldn't weaken my position & show some cracks in my resolve.
Also, H is flying 4 family members out here in a couple of weeks, telling me he would like S6 to stay with all of them during that time. I don't know why I would think I would be invited to join, since we are getting a D, I do know that it triggered me in that special way by reminding me I'm no longer a member of the family.
I catch myself thinking he scheduled that on purpose, knowing it would have a desired effect. Really who knows, he may not even have considered anything deeper than wanting to spend time with them, & I really don't think it changes anything.
Sunny, I've lost my mind and my advice is no good right now. BUT, CUTTING the last ties, was in my case difficult for both of us, as it seems for you The final good bye is scary and sad. As for your new friend, I know it stresses you more but it also keeps life going, no end at the end of your M, cant explain it... love M
@Kalni/M,Tomorrow is our scheduled Mediation, so I've been compiling documents & taking them to be filed w/the courts. Amazing how much time this sort of thing sucks out of your life!
H has decided to go for 50/50 custody which he may find difficult since I have every hour he's spent w/son documented since day of separation. I have had S6 80-90% to date.
I tried an experiment last week when new guy was out of town. It made it appear that we were no longer spending time together, i.e., he was out of the picture. Since H expressed his desire to R, I called & asked if he would like to come over & spend time w/us for an hour, since he hadn't seen S6 in a while, to see what the reaction would be. H="Ah, well....I wished you had called earlier. I...ah...can't make it tonight."
It was an immediate pull back when he thought there was no competition. Tells me everything I need to know.
Now that it's back to that shiny black car parked in front of the house when he comes for pick up, it spun right back & he's calling/emailing throughout the day with questions/information that are unnecessary. I just don't respond.
Meanwhile, I think new guy should teach a class on how to get & keep a women's interest. I know there must be some sort of insecurity there, he just doesn't show it at all. Nice to be with someone I can laugh with & appreciates my fine points.
H showed me what he's willing to do about all his "regrets"....not much except to tell me he made a mistake & doesn't want a D. Actions are a no show.
Even though H, as it turns out, paid someone to coach him, it didn't go well for him. The times when I thought he would know better than to add material that would obviously hurt his case, he just kept talking.
Afterwards he sort of stomped off, angry & shaken. I just left him alone.
Two hours later, he calls to tell me he's a huge 'F'up & regrets what's happening. "The happier you are, the more unhappy I get."
An hour after that, see's that dam* black car here & tells me he want to come on Sunday & pick up his dishes, a car & some other items left here.
Sunday, OW drops him off, I tell him I have boxes ready for his stuff & leave him to do his thing.
So, here it comes, "Are you sure you want this? I know I don't. I think we're making a big mistake, I was just going a long with how you're trying to push this thru."
I let him know that I'm not interested in being with someone that can't be faithful to me, show respect or care about the consequences to me or my family. Please take your thing's & go, I have to get out the door in the next hour.
When he's all loaded up, he asks if I'll at least consider what he had to say.
I tell him I'll consider it, however it doesn't look likely.
I continue on w/having my friend over & enjoying my life, noticing H's unhappiness with the situation.
Last night S6 comes home from dinner @ his place & tells me OW let him play with her dog. I let him know today that I've decided against any chance of us getting back together.
Just left me a message saying he wants to talk to me tomorrow about another financial proposal & "Oh, I think I made a poor decision last night."
He can send it to me in writing...I'm done talking.
So predictable......
Sunny
"Hang in there. I'm glad you've got new guy. He sounds like he knows what you need and he's confident enough to handle the complications." @rinserepeat
Hi R&R, I thought so too. His confidence seems to have taken a bit of a dive in the last week I've noticed. His antenna is probably up & he senses potential danger.
"Hang in there. I'm glad you've got new guy. He sounds like he knows what you need and he's confident enough to handle the complications." @rinserepeat
Hi R&R, I thought so too. His confidence seems to have taken a bit of a dive in the last week I've noticed. His antenna is probably up & he senses potential danger.
Dont send mixed messages. Some men are actually...human and do care about us and what's going on in our minds, I know it sounds like science fiction after all we have been thru but believe me, it is true, men like that do exist...
You stbxh is a ...jerk and has control issues. It wouldnt surprise me if he fit 10 different "syndroms". There is this "nusty" taste on him. I am sorry if I sound mean, I am not really. I just had enough of these sick situations and hate to see you being mistreated by him. In solidarity (LOVED that one, really touched me) M
